"Where'd you find Elias, anyway? I know he's from Texas, but I always find it fascinating that anyone would end up here when there's so many better places to be."
"You ended up here," she said. "And I'm here."
"We're here because of our parents. And I stay here because moving is a pain in the ass, my house is dirt cheap but still awesome, and I can travel all over the world and not have to worry about someone breaking into my place while I'm gone for weeks at a time. But why would anyone seek out Last Stop on purpose?"
"Beats me," she said, shrugging. "Eve sent him to me."
Miller swirled her wine around her glass. "I wonder if she's got a catalog of sexy men she orders from. What do they do around here?"
"They stay busy enough," she said. And then she thought of the new guy who had appeared on her embalming table. Deacon had said he'd be sticking around too. Maybe Eve did order them from some kind of catalog.
"I think I've ruined myself," Miller said. "No man could possibly live up to what I've created in my head. Besides, the last few guys I've dated have seriously left me questioning where the future of our society is heading. It's not normal that three out of the four of them still lived with their parents. Their mothers still folded their laundry and set it neatly outside their doors, and made their lunches for them before they went to work every day."
"Sounds like a pretty sweet deal," Tess said. "I'd probably stay too. But you want to avoid those kinds of men. They're going to be looking for a wife who will fill the role of their mother."
"Yes, I know." Miller nodded sagely. "Considering I'm not particularly interested in shooting out a small person from my loins in a painful manner, I certainly don't want to adopt a man-child through the guise of wedding vows."
"Maybe you should get a cat," Tess said.
"I'd rather watch you settle down and have babies so I can spoil them. That way my loins stay intact and I can leave when I get tired of your kids. But you're doing your best to avoid any potential relationships."
"Henry pretty much cured me of that," she said.
"Henry was a horse's behind. I told you that from the beginning. He kept looking at my ass."
"You do have a great ass," Tess admitted. "I sometimes stare at it too."
"Thank you. And I probably won't have to do extra squats to burn off these cookies since they're so bad. I don't even think they qualify as dessert."
"Yet you're eating them anyway."
"It's a weakness." Miller took a bite out of the center of her cookie and then chased it with the wine. "You've got to get out of this house. The only men visiting you in here are the ones you're filling with weird chemicals and gluing their eyes shut. They're not interested in you. Come out with me tonight. Your funeral is all done for the day, and you've got nothing better to do than sit here, finish off these cookies, and watch a Murder, She Wrote marathon. Though if I were you, I'd spring for some night-vision goggles and see what else you can see in the carriage house after the lights go down," Miller said, waggling her eyebrows.
"They have a right to their privacy," Tess said primly, though her cheeks heated.
"Oh, she blushes," Miller said, chortling. "Tess likes a bo-y," she said in a singsong voice. "Who is it? You didn't put money in the pot at the Clip n' Curl, did you?"
"Of course not!" she said. "It'd be a waste. I don't stand a chance with a man like that."
"Because I'm such a keen observer of human nature, I just noticed two things. The first is that you said you don't have chance with a man like that. Meaning, you have a very specific man in mind. The second is that you are truly clueless when it comes to your looks. For heaven's sake, Tess. You've got a mirror. You also have a hairbrush and concealer for those dark smudges under your eyes, so maybe work on that part. God wouldn't have invented that stuff if he hadn't wanted you to use it."
"I'll make sure to tell Father Murphy that the next time he preaches on vanity."
"This is Texas. People here don't go to the Dollar Store without their full hair and makeup done. Half the congregation left during the middle of that sermon, and the only reason the other half stayed is because they were men."
Tess laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks. "Stop it."
Miller grinned, flashing the lone dimple in her cheek. "Seriously, Tess. Henry did a number on you, and I hate him for it. He stripped away all your self-confidence when it came to your looks and your God-given talents. All he wanted was for you to fill the role of 'his' wife. Like it's some big deal to be the wife of the only dentist in Last Stop. Whoop-de-friggin-do."