"Why?" she asked.
He tried to hold her shaking body as close as he could as he willed his body to warm her. "Why what?"
"I was supposed to kill him. Why'd you do it?"
Stake blew out a long breath. He hadn't spoken of his suspicions to anyone, including Tiny. "I didn't. I was with you, remember?"
She looked up at him for the first time since he'd entered the bathroom. "Then who?"
"I don't know for sure, but I bet it was someone who couldn't stand the thought of that man living another day to torment you." Knowing how far Tiny would go for Santana had changed Stake's mind about asking Tiny to take over with the whores. He still wasn't sure how he was going to do it, but he needed to get Tiny transferred to Fayetteville, and that would be easier accomplished if Tiny never slipped into the role Stake was vacating. He found the wet washcloth on the side of the tub and began to wash the smeared mascara from her face. "Whoever it was, must loved you a lot."
Her eyebrows drew together for a moment before shooting up to her hairline as the answer dawned on her. "Tiny?"
Shrugging, he grabbed the bar of soap and rubbed it against the washcloth. "Promise me that you'll never ask him about it. Believing he did it and knowing the truth are two different things as far as the police are concerned." He kissed the top of her head as he began to wash her chest. "Will you tell me why you were sitting in an ice cold bath?"
Tears filled Santana's eyes. "He touched me. Inside of me," she admitted as she turned her head away.
"Shhh. Don't cry. God, please, don't cry." No matter what he'd done in his life, nothing cut him like the sight of her tears, but she'd always had that effect on him. Until he'd met the young girl with kaleidoscope eyes, he'd never known what unconditional love meant. He'd survived his own childhood with an occasional pat on the arm or thank you, but had never heard the words he hadn't known he'd been missing until Santana had wrapped her skinny arms around his neck and told him she loved him when he'd brought her a Christmas present when she was barely five.
Those simple words had started to change the way he'd looked at himself in the mirror. His feelings of protectiveness had only grown once Smash had started the whippings. The first time he'd found her bruised and crying, he'd sworn to himself he'd make Smash pay for what he'd done. Unfortunately, Smash hadn't seen it the same way. He'd informed Stake that Santana wasn't his to worry about, and if Stake continued to try to insinuate himself into their family business, he'd make sure Stake never had contact with Santana again. Caught between wanting to help and the knowledge that he needed to be accessible to Santana in case the unthinkable occurred, he'd shut his mouth. And, with each beating, he'd lost a part of himself. By the time Smash went to prison and Ellie had made it impossible for Stake to look after Santana, the beautiful creature was no longer a child. He'd taken what was left of his self-worth and had sealed off his heart out of preservation.
"I feel dirty," Santana whispered, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"No, babe, you're not dirty, but let me wash Robby's touch from you." He soaped the washcloth again and tried to soothe the only person he'd ever loved. "Do you remember me taking you to the fair when you were little?"
She nodded.
"Those memories are some of the best for me. I loved hearing you laugh as you rode rides that you probably had no business being on. You were so fearless." He rested his cheek against the top of her head before tipping her chin back to press his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. "You still are. I admire the woman you've become even if it breaks my heart that you did it without my help."
"You're wrong." She rested her hand on top of his and pushed the washcloth toward her pussy. "There's nothing to admire about what I've become."
Although he knew she needed his touch, he wanted to shake her at the statement. "How can you say that? Look at you. Despite everyone in your life trying to knock you down, you're kind and loving, and so fucking perfect."
He acquiesced and ran the washcloth over her pussy several times. "You give me a reason every day to think before I act. In those years after your dad's death, I walked around without a soul. No job was too dangerous, because I didn't care if I lived or died. To be completely honest, there were times when I thought dying would be the best thing that could happen."
Santana pulled the washcloth out of his hand. "Let me feel you," she sighed. "I need your touch to erase his."
He realized words weren't what she needed, and slipped his fingers between the lips of her pussy. She was slick and warm and he wished he could swallow her whole and protect her from the outside world. The house Gypsy had found for them was a step in the right direction, but he needed to make sure he only surrounded her with people who saw her as he did. That meant getting her the hell away from Broken Ridge. Unfortunately, until the investigation into Gordon's death was closed, he wouldn't be allowed to follow her.
"I need you to do me a huge favor," he said, slipping two fingers inside her core.
"Anything," she said, her breathing picking up.
"I can't leave town until I'm cleared by the cops, but I need you to go to Fayetteville and set up a house for us. My friend, Gypsy, found something, and it would really help me out if you could look at it and do whatever needs doing while I'm stuck here."
Before he had a chance to react, Santana pulled out of his grasp and stepped out of the tub. Fuck! "Babe, it'll probably just be for a month or so."
She spun around and glared at him. "I knew you'd leave me again. I thought I was prepared for it, but I didn't count on you sending me away."
"Goddammit!" Stake stood and climbed out of the bath. Without thought, he grabbed her upper arms and held her in place. "I fucked up when Smash died. I'm sorry that I abandoned you, but that's never going to happen again." He pulled her against his chest. "I'm nothing without you, and I mean that literally."
Slowly, as their skin began to dry, Santana returned his embrace. "You're my strength. I don't know that I can go through this without you."
Although he didn't believe it for a second, his heart filled to bursting. "I know you can do this, babe. I have to send you away or risk killing every person who tries to make you feel less than you really are."
She pulled away enough to stare up at him, but didn't say anything.
"I hope Fayetteville will be a fresh start for both of us. I want you to find girlfriends to laugh and gossip with because your happiness means more to me than anything else. And, while you're away, I trust Gypsy to make sure you have everything you need. He's a damn good man." He brushed his thumb down her cheek. "He even offered to take out Gordon for me, so I have no doubt you'll be safe with him."
"Is he married?"
Stake couldn't help but laugh. "Nope and according to him, it'll never happen. He's too fucked up because of his childhood, even worse than me if you can believe it. Still, he's a good guy, and I promise he won't try anything with you."
"I'm not his type?" she asked, a glint of humor in her eyes.
"You're every man's fucking type, babe, but Gypsy knows how I feel, and he'll respect that." He didn't have any reservations about entrusting Santana to Gypsy. That wasn't to say she might not fall for the charismatic biker, but he hadn't lied to her when he'd said he wanted her to be happy.
"Okay," she finally agreed. "I'll go."
Chapter Ten
Spread eagle on the center of the bed, Santana buried her hands in Stake's hair as he ate the hell out of her pussy. Since Gordon's death two days earlier, Stake seemed intent on keeping her naked and at his mercy. She hadn't argued, knowing all too soon she'd be sent away.
"Yes," she moaned when he began to suck on her sensitive clit. It had taken hours of lovemaking for her to get over the hurt of being sent to Arkansas without him, but she'd come to understand that he believed he was doing the right thing. She wasn't sure she agreed, but with Robby still on suspension from the police department, he was a wildcard that Stake didn't need to worry about. If she stayed with Stake, there was no doubt he'd feel the need to protect her twenty-four hours a day, and he still had business in San Antonio that he needed to take care of before Cecil would let him transfer.
"You taste so fuckin' good," Stake growled, moving to kneel on the bed.
When he made a gesture for her to roll over, she quickly did as instructed. Dare she hope he would finally give her what she'd been begging for? Without embarrassment or reservation, she planted her knees and forearms on the bed and stuck her butt into the air. "Please?"