He walked closer, but she looked so nervous he stopped at the foot of the bed. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have married you, you know."
And damn if that wasn't what he meant to say, too. He needed to get his brain in gear and find a muzzle, ASAP.
She flushed and crossed her arms over her chest. After several tries, she choked out, "I didn't want you because of your misplaced sense of duty."
"I don't think that's it." Her eyes narrowed, but this time his brain was agile enough to keep his foot out of his mouth. "It's because I'd already left you once, right? You didn't want to take the chance I'd do it again." He swallowed his anger and tunneled his fingers through his hair. "I don't want to fight, sunshine. I screwed up. Royally. I know that. I'm sorry."
Her expression softened. "I'm sorry, too, Cord."
He inhaled several times while he marshaled his thoughts, and an idea that had niggled at him for some time finally solidified. "Don't you get it?"
Jolie's face scrunched up into that inscrutable expression indicating she didn't. "Obviously not."
Convinced he was on to something, he blurted out, "If you'd told me, it would have been our way out. Hell, if I'd been smart enough to think it through, I'd have gotten you pregnant in college."
Her mouth opened and closed a few times, and he had to fight the urge to grab her and kiss her until she connected the dots.
"Honey, we would have gotten married. You being pregnant? That would be the one reason the old man couldn't stop us from being together."
"What?" Her voice rose in a screech and her face flushed, the pink coming all the way up her chest and neck to stain her cheeks. "Of all the stupid, idiotic...insane things to say to me, Cord Barron."
He offered the grin that always made her eyes go soft, and they did, right on schedule. "Think about it. A story about Cyrus Barron having an illegitimate grandson hitting the media? He'd be screaming defamation and slander. My old man wouldn't have liked it, but he wouldn't have fought us."
Of course, the rumor of his father having a few children born on the wrong side of the blanket had never fazed the sorry SOB-not that any of his legitimate sons could officially prove they had half siblings out there-Kaden Waite's family resemblance notwithstanding. They'd never broached the subject with Kaden, but none of his brothers would object if he wanted to have a DNA test done.
Jolie took a step toward him. Then another. Suddenly, she was running. Cord braced himself, but she stopped right in front of him. She was so close, and he wanted her in his arms. Wrapping them around her, Cord toppled backward onto the bed, bringing her with him. He just managed to hide his grimace as pain lanced through his entire body.
Cupping his face in her palms, Jolie attempted to keep her weight off him. Her face hovered inches from his and he did his best not to look at her cross-eyed.
"Oh, you beautiful, impossible man."
Was she complaining or was that somehow a compliment? She kissed him, so he took it as a good thing.
"I never wanted to leave you, Jolie. I was stupid. And a coward and-"
"Shut up, Cord." She kissed him again, gentler this time as she remembered his injuries. "Make love to me."
One part of his brain wondered how he would manage that with her on top and in charge-and him beat all to hell. Then another part perked right up and muttered something about letting Jolie be in charge. Not to be left out, his heart spoke up, making sure to be heard when he spoke out loud.
"Always, Jolie. I always want to make love to you."
She reared back, staring down at him with a little V forming between her brows. "That's how you feel? It wasn't just sex?"
"Caring about you. Wanting you. I have since the moment I looked up and saw you at the top of those stairs."
As her eyes went all gooey, his libido fist pumped. He'd found the perfect thing to say. His conscience twinged a little, but he mentally told it to shut up. He had loved her from that moment on-at least as much as he understood love. He'd wanted her, and once their relationship started in college, she'd made him feel things he hadn't felt before. Wasn't that love? He was stupid for letting her get away-something he fully planned to rectify from this moment forward.
Jolie reached to turn off the bedside lamp, and he stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. "I want to see you, Jolie, want to watch you when you come."
"I... I'm not that wide-eyed girl anymore, Cord."
She blushed. The girl who had all but seduced him in the party room of his fraternity house had gotten shy? "Jolie?"
The pink flushing her skin turned crimson. She started to climb off him. "This is a dumb-"
He wrapped an arm around her, keeping her in place. "No, sunshine. You aren't that girl. You're so much more. You're a beautiful woman. You're the mother of my-"
She jerked away again. He let her go, and then sat up on the edge of the bed. "Jolie, come here." She complied. Reluctantly. He stood and turned her around with gentle hands on her shoulders. Unzipping her dress, he brushed it off her shoulders, letting it slide down her body to puddle at her feet. He walked around her, pausing to kiss her before he looked his fill.
Her breasts were plumper than he remembered, her hips wider. She'd blossomed from a slim girl into lush womanhood. He inhaled sharply, the front of his slacks tenting. "Damn but you're beautiful, baby."
Jolie shook her head, refusing to look at him. He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his erection. "If you don't believe my words, believe this. I may be beat to hell and back, but I want you. So. Damn. Much."
She jerked her hand back and he let it go. Her arms folded across her abdomen, but he pulled them away and sank to his knees, kissing her tummy.
"Don't." The word came out strangled.
"Why not, Jolie? What are you afraid of? What don't you want me to see?"
Her hands fluttered across her skin, and then he saw the fine feathering of white lines. Stretch marks. From her pregnancy. He kissed a trail along one of the lines. "These are beautiful."
"Yeah, and you're crazy."
"Been called that before, but they are, Jolie. You're beautiful." His palm cupped the rounded pooch of her tummy. "My son was here. Growing. Damn, woman, there's nothing sexier than that."
"Your son? I suppose if I'd had a little girl, that wouldn't be sexy at all."
She spit the words, but he deflected them with a smile as he rose. "A baby girl. Now, there's a thought to give a man a heart attack." His eyes twinkled as he nuzzled his way across her breasts to kiss the soft skin under her chin. "I don't think there would have been enough shotguns in the world to keep the boys at bay if we'd had a daughter."
He cupped her cheeks and kissed her, his tongue teasing the seam of her lips until her jaw relaxed and he could taste her mouth. Margarita and chocolate. Those were two tastes that shouldn't work together, but in her mouth? Perfect. He broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. "I'm going to make love to you, Jolie. It won't be as good or as thorough as I'd wanted for our first time back together-"
"Are we?"
Cord raised his head to look at her. "Are we what?"
"Back together."
His thoughts ran full out on the hamster wheel of his man brain. He knew, instinctively, this was a crossroads. He'd either screw up royally or he'd win this woman back. "That depends on you, I guess."
That intriguing V formed between her brows again, and he kissed it. "I don't want to make assumptions, Jolie. I want us to be friends at the very least. I want to be CJ's dad, not just his sperm donor. I want it to be you and me. Us. We. A couple. But what I want doesn't matter much if you don't want the same thing. What do you want, sunshine? Because from where I'm standin', the ball's in your court."
Aw, hell. Tears spilled from her eyes, turning her long lashes spiky. He'd screwed up. Again. Then she threw her arms around him and rode him down to the bed. "I was right. You are an impossible man. Impossible and perfect and...and..."
Cord kissed her in self-defense. His palm curled around a breast and he smiled as her nipple tightened. He managed to get her bra unhooked and off. Panties slid off easily, and then he had her naked and glorious, and if it was possible, he was even harder.
Jolie helped him out of his trousers and boxers and made him stand there at the side of the bed wearing nothing but his socks. He didn't care. Before she was ready to stop looking, Cord climbed onto the bed and stalked her, socks and all. Still laughing, she scooted up until her back was braced against the pile of pillows shoved against her headboard.
"I'll show you funny," he mock growled at her. Pinning her wrists, he kissed down her side until she squirmed and giggled breathlessly. His Jolie was still ticklish. His. Man, he liked the sound of that. He teased her breast, swiping his tongue across the nipple before fastening his lips around it and sucking. She arched into him. She'd always responded so perfectly to his touch. Trailing a hand down her side, he palmed her tummy, and then dipped lower. She gasped and widened her thighs as he cupped her. She was hot and ready for him.