The Cowboy's Way(44)
While he and Seth finished cooking the eggs, Heather made toast. By the time they sat down to eat, T.J. had a fairly good glimpse of what his life could be if he made things more permanent with Heather. Was that what he wanted?
It certainly wasn’t unpleasant. Doing things with Seth—teaching him things—was pretty awesome. And just thinking about making love to Heather each night and waking up each morning with her in his arms had his body reacting in a very predictable way. But an instant family was a lot of responsibility.
He’d lain awake most of the night thinking about what he wanted and he still didn’t have any firm answers. On one hand it scared the living hell out of him to make that kind of commitment—to be responsible for someone besides just himself. What if he came up lacking? What if he failed them in some way?
Other than Hank being his foster father during his time at the Last Chance Ranch, T.J. had never had a father. And he really hadn’t had an example of what a husband was supposed to be. He’d watched his brothers as they learned what their wives expected of them, but that was only at family get-togethers. It might be different in their daily lives.
One thing that he didn’t have to worry about was the financial aspect of being in a relationship. Because of wise investments, his grandkids’ grandkids would never have to work a day in their lives if they didn’t want to. It was being responsible for their emotional well-being that concerned him. He knew he would move heaven and earth to give Heather and Seth everything they could ever need or want. But was he enough to keep them both happy emotionally?
And then there was the problem of what his life would be like without them in it. Yes, it had happened quickly, but at this point, he didn’t even want to think about not having them with him. Yet he wasn’t sure that what he felt for Heather was love. He couldn’t say he had ever loved a woman before. With nothing to compare to his feelings for Heather, how was he supposed to know for sure?
“You look awfully serious all of a sudden,” Heather said, wiping Seth’s hands after he finished eating. “Is everything all right?”
“Sure.” T.J. decided he could give their future more thought later on. Right now, the time had come to warn her about all of his family showing up later that afternoon. “I was just thinking about what I wanted to discuss with you last night.”
“Okay, what’s on your mind?” She rose from the table to remove their empty plates, rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. “I’m beginning to think this is something you dread telling me and that means I should dread hearing it.”
“It’s not anything bad,” he assured her. “In fact, I’m pretty sure you’ll really enjoy yourself.” He nodded at Seth. “And I know my little partner is going to have the time of his life.”
“What is it?” she asked, looking suspicious.
He checked his watch. “In about five hours, my family is going to start showing up for our annual New Year’s Eve party. I was going to ask you to join us, but we kept getting distracted.”
Her eyes widened. “I can’t impose on your family gathering,” she said, shaking her head until her ponytail swung back and forth. “Seth and I have taken advantage of your generosity as it is. We’ll go back home. I’m sure we can stay warm enough if I—”
“Like hell,” T.J. said, leaving the table to walk over and take her in his arms. “It’s supposed to be colder tonight than it was last night. And while we’re at it, let’s get something straight right now. You haven’t taken advantage of me. I want both of you here with me.”
“I don’t have anything with me that I can wear to a party,” she said, looking distressed.
He frowned. “What’s wrong with what you have on?”
She gave him a look like she thought he was being overly obtuse. “I’ll be in jeans and a shirt while everyone else is—”
“Dressed just like you,” he interrupted. “My sisters-in-law are going to be in jeans and sweaters or sweatshirts.” He smiled. “Trust me, you’ll fit right in, sweetheart.” He kissed her until they both gasped for breath. “You and Seth are with me and I want you to meet my family. I’m betting by the time they leave after brunch tomorrow, you’ll be wondering why you were so concerned.”
Even as he said the words, he knew they were true. They were a part of his life now and meeting his family was the next step toward making it permanent.
* * *
When his brothers and sisters-in-law arrived late that day, Heather was relieved to see that T.J. had been right. She didn’t feel out of place at all. The only awkward moment had been when his brother Nate asked if she had a stallion. When she told him yes, he grinned, wrapped her in a brotherly hug and welcomed her to the zoo. She had wondered what T.J. told them about his and her past run-ins, but whatever he’d said hadn’t seemed to make a difference.