Once she’d given birth, she’d be out of his life forever.
And perhaps that was for the best.
Women had obviously led Daniel to believe that they weren’t something he needed in the upbringing of his child – and Esme didn’t want to pretend that she was any different. She was flaky. She liked her independence – wouldn’t forfeit her goals for anyone.
Not even a man who stole her breath and the child that swelled inside her with each passing day.
When she took her bath that night, Esme drew her fingertips over the crest of her belly, drawing errant lines of moisture as she closed her eyes. The following week, she would be starting work at Pierre’s. She should be thrilled. Literally leaping around the manor in excitement. Instead, she found herself oddly subdued.
She wrapped herself in one of the silky robes she’d acquired from the day’s shopping trip before venturing downstairs to the empty living room. It was past midnight, and she knew Daniel must be in bed. She’d been avoiding him the entire evening because she didn’t know how to face him. Esme was a woman who usually kept her emotions well in check. It was the only way she’d known she’d be able to be a surrogate in the first place.
But the handsome mogul had taken everything she believed about herself and utterly shattered it. Now, she didn’t know where she stood – and the realization had her terribly off balance.
She lounged on the couch, flipping aimlessly through channels for a while until she switched the television off to sit in the dark in silence. Within her, Daniel’s son stirred and she swallowed thickly, running a hand through her still damp hair.
Christ, how had she gotten herself into this position?
“You can’t sleep either?”
She turned her head to see Daniel’s figure silhouetted in the moonlight streaming in from the back veranda. The man wore only a pair of low slung silk pajama pants, the muscles of his chest, abdomen and arms thrown into sharp relief by light and shadow. Esme turned away quickly, her throat dry with instant desire.
“Yeah…I’ve just…got a lot on my mind.”
“I can only imagine.” She heard his bare feet on the wooden floor as he crossed the room to stand behind her. When the man’s strong, sure hands fell on her shoulders, Esme leaned almost unconsciously into his touch. He began a slow, steady massage that sent ripples of bliss through her muscles as they eased despite themselves. Within moments, the young woman sagged back against the couch, her worries fading into a realm of utter relaxation.
A comfortable silence fell between them as Daniel eased the kinks from her upper body with masterful precision. In another life, Esme considered, the man would have made a hell of a masseuse. He could add it to his list of talents – right under cattle wrangling and being a complete and utter boss at life.
“Esme.” His low drawl thrummed through her, making the heat between her legs throb.
“Hm?” Jesus, the man was trying to be sweet and she was a complete and utter horndog.
“Will you come upstairs with me?”
Well, it appeared she wasn’t the only one with a one track mind. Turning to face the man as she rose onto her knees on the couch, Esme offered him her mouth. Daniel pressed hips lips to hers hungrily, tasting her with a fervor that had come to haunt her dreams. Easily, he slipped his arms beneath her, lifting her to carry bridal style toward the stairs.
His mouth never leaving hers, they ascended to the second floor, and by the time they reached the door to his room, Esme was consumed with her desire for him.
However, when she tore her mouth from his, she froze in his grip.
They weren’t in the doorway of the master suite, but rather standing in front of the closed door to the nursery. The one room in the house she had never explored. Before she could speak a single word, Daniel spoke. “I want you to see it, Esme. I know what you think…and I’m telling you that you’re wrong. You’re not intruding for caring about the baby you’re carrying. You’ll care for the baby more than any other woman in its life…so why shouldn’t you see?”
He shifted her in his arms and Esme’s heart began to pound. It wasn’t that she was scared that he’d think her intrusive so much as she feared becoming attached to the idea of something she could never have. That, in her mind, was the most horrible thing that could occur. She didn’t know if she could spend the rest of her life wondering what could have been.
“Daniel…I can’t go in there.”
“Why not?” She looked into his inquiring gaze, taking a calming breath. She had to make him understand.
“I’m not a part of that. I’m a vessel…a tool. What happens after me…that’s none of my business. Nor should it be.”