The Cowboy Lassos a Bride(30)

Hannah's eyes flew open. She sat straight up, pushing Jake aside. "Damn it!"

"What?"

"You didn't use protection! You … " A wash of cold swept over her, perking  her nipples, but she didn't care about that. "Damn it, Jake! I trusted  you!"

He froze in his position on the couch, only his gaze shifting from side  to side as if he was replaying the last fifteen minutes in his mind.  "Shit."

"Yeah-shit!"

"I forgot. You didn't say anything!" From his expression he was just as  shocked as she was. What was it about Jake that made her lose her mind?  What made her trust him so much when he obviously wasn't trustworthy?

She crawled off the couch, nearly losing her balance before she  untangled herself from him. Standing up, she put her hands on her hips.  "We've used it every single time. You thought something changed?"

"I didn't …  think." Jake stood, too. "You didn't either, I guess." He  tried to draw her into an embrace. "What does it matter? You already  thought you could be pregnant. We're engaged now. Whatever happens,  we'll be together."

She pushed him away. "No, we won't. I can't even trust you to keep me  from getting pregnant when you know I don't want to be. You only care  about yourself-what you want! You'd be happy if I couldn't go to school.  You probably planned this!" She raked her hair back from her face with  both hands. "You did, didn't you?"

"Of course not!" Jake said but she had already spun away. She headed for  the stairs at a furious clip. "Where are you going?" he called after  her.

"To sleep." She spun around halfway up the steps. "And I don't want company!"                       
       
           



       





‡

Chapter Sixteen





When Jake woke the following morning Hannah had already gone. He'd spent  the night in his own room, his bed strange and uncomfortable after all  the nights he'd spent in Hannah's. He'd wracked his brain for something  to say or do to fix the situation. He must have finally fallen asleep  close to dawn. Now his head hurt, his mouth was dry and his eyes felt  like they were on fire.

He stumbled through a hot shower, dressed and descended to the kitchen  to find a pile of paperwork on the table pertaining to Hannah's college  admittance. She must have woken up early, eager to plan for a future  that didn't include him. She'd made notes on a piece of paper of all the  courses she wished to take. According to the documents, she could go  online to sign up for them.

Jake sat down heavily and read through all of the information, paging  through the glossy pages that touted all that Montana State had to  offer. He recalled doing the same thing back in high school in his  guidance counselor's office. He knew he'd never go to school-Holt would  never have countenanced it-but the brochures had fascinated him.

Mr. Helmsly, the counselor, couldn't understand why he didn't apply. He  was a city transplant and didn't understand rural thinking yet. Jake had  known what his occupation would be from the moment he was born. A  rancher, just like his daddy. You learned ranching on a ranch, not  behind a desk.

He understood perfectly why Hannah would want to go, however. He sure had wanted to.

Jake picked up a thicker booklet that listed all the college's majors.  He traced a finger down the list, and stopped at one that caught his  eye. Natural Resources and Rangeland Ecology. He read through the course  offerings. Natural Resources Conservation. Montana Range Plants lab.  Livestock in Sustainable Systems.

What would it be like to meet with other ranchers interested in taking  the business to a whole new level? What would it be like to have the  latest information at his fingertips-to know what sustainability meant,  not just guess at it? No one else on the Double-Bar-K even seemed to be  interested. Evan Mortimer was, but in a theoretical way, not as someone  who'd grown up on a ranch.

Jake flipped through the rest of the information, found a website URL  and brought his laptop down to the table. An hour later when Ned poked  his head in to see why the hell he wasn't attending to his chores, Jake  was almost done with his application. With their rolling admissions,  he'd find out in a day or two if he'd get in. Bursting with the secret,  he joined his brothers outside preparing to ride out to check the herd.

"What's gotten into you today?" Ned asked suspiciously.

"Nothing." The truth was Jake had no idea what had gotten into him. He couldn't leave the ranch and attend college.

So why had he just sent in an online application to Montana State?

"Hasn't anyone ever told you about birth control?" Claire said. Hannah,  Claire, Autumn, Morgan, Rose and Bella had all gathered for a late  afternoon emergency meeting at the pet clinic. Bella had already ushered  the last client of the day out the front door and now the women sat on  the plastic waiting room seats and discussed Hannah's predicament.  Hannah had decided that her need for support outweighed the humiliation  of admitting she screwed up her protection not once, but twice in a  two-week span.

"Of course. I told you; the condom broke the first time. That's not anyone's fault. And last night-we just got carried away."

"You don't think Jake did it on purpose, do you?" Rose asked.

"I don't think so," Hannah said slowly. She had at first, but now that  she'd cooled down, she doubted that was true. She was the one who'd  straddled him. She was the one who set the pace. She'd forgotten all  about the condom, too. The problem was that she was used to being on the  Pill. This condom stuff was new to her. That was no excuse for her  negligence though, or for Jake's.

"For someone who really wants to go to college you sure seem determined to get stuck right here," Claire said.

"Claire!" Morgan said. "That's not helpful."

Tears spilled from Hannah's eyes. "But she's right. What am I doing  moving in with Jake, sleeping with him, becoming engaged to him, having  sex with him-unprotected sex-if I really mean to leave?"

"Are you having second thoughts about becoming a vet?" Bella asked gently.

"No! Not at all!"

"Are you …  scared?" Rose ventured.

Hannah's tears fell more thickly and she swiped at them brusquely with  her sleeve. She was scared, but why? She knew she could handle the  academics-she'd always been terrific at school. She knew she could  handle the messier side of animal care, too. She helped out all the time  in the clinic and shelter. Blood didn't faze her. She wasn't afraid of  diseases or death. She had a steady hand and a steady personality.                       
       
           



       

Except when it came to Jake.

"I think we have our answer," Claire said caustically. "What on earth are you afraid of?"

"Losing Jake," Autumn said. It wasn't a question, but Hannah nodded. She  mopped her eyes with the handkerchief Autumn passed her and raised her  head.

"He doesn't want to wait to get married or start a family. He's already thirty-three."

"Can't you do both?" Morgan asked.

"The problem is that she'll need to go somewhere like Colorado for vet  school," Bella told her. "There aren't any local programs for that."

Hannah looked from one of them to the next. "So what do I do? If I  forget about school I'll resent Jake, but if I go I might lose him."

"Are those really the only two options?" Claire asked.

"I don't know."

"You should copy us. We're making all of our plans work by helping each  other," Morgan said, indicating Claire, Autumn and Rose. "By living so  closely together and making the ranch a joint venture, we can pitch in  when it's needed. Since Rob is still injured, Cab's been filling in for  him. When we start having our babies, all the men will have to pick up  the slack, but since we're due at different times, we'll be able to help  each other, too. You don't have to go it alone if you don't want to.  Jake's parents and brothers all live right there. Why can't you talk to  them and see if you can work something out?"

"But how do you work out me being away from home for four years?" Hannah  said. She didn't bring up the fact that she wasn't comfortable asking  Jake's family for help-not after the way they'd treated her so far. And  she couldn't ask her parents, either. They were barely keeping  themselves afloat.

That seemed to stump everyone. "I'm not saying it will be easy," Morgan said. "But it is possible. Why not start from there?"

Jake was curry-combing Chester when Rob found him in the stables. The  smooth motion of running the comb through the gelding's hair soothed  him, as did the presence of the patient beast. He'd had Chester for  years now and while he knew it was sentimental, he always felt the horse  knew when he was particularly troubled and did his best to be extra  patient and helpful that day.