If Ned didn't want her. Somehow he didn't think Ned did want her, or he wouldn't have disappeared and left her time enough to wander over and get distracted by his younger brother. Ned would fight fiercely to keep hold of any woman he really wanted. He was the kind of man who kept tabs on what he felt was his.
Mia sighed. "What's there to do around here?"
"We could watch a movie," Luke said eagerly. "Do you like Jarhead?"
Jake rolled his eyes. "Didn't you leave that at your place? Where Fila's upset?"
Luke deflated. "Yeah. Right."
"Actually, I love military movies. Soldiers are hot." Mia brightened. "I'll go grab my laptop and we can stream it. I'll make some popcorn, too." She popped up off the sofa and was out the door in a minute. Luke trailed after her happily. Jake shook his head. He was only two years older than Luke. How come his brother seemed so young?
Because he wasn't the one trying to head up the ranch, Jake mused. He had always craved the responsibility of that position without considering its downside-the long hours, the stress of having to get everything right, the worry that was digging lines into his face around his mouth and eyes. Someday he'd end up as haggard as his father.
Jake smiled at the thought. If he did, it meant that he'd have a number of solid ranching years behind him and that's all he'd ever asked for.
The door opened again and Hannah came in.
"Everything all right?"
"Yes, actually." She looked bemused.
"What?"
"Ned." She shrugged. "He … surprised me."
"Really?" Jake sat up. "How?"
"I was making everything worse, but Ned knew exactly the right thing to say."
‡
Chapter Twelve
The days passed all too quickly. Hannah and Jake fell into a rhythm of playing house that was more pleasant than she might have imagined. She began to get up much earlier than she ever had before so they could talk over their plans for the day before Jake headed out to do his chores. He liked to follow her around as she spiffed up the place and she liked that too, since he unconsciously helped her, picking clothes up off the floor in the bedroom, drying the dishes in the kitchen and keeping her company, if nothing else. As they worked, they kept up a constant stream of talk. Jake quizzed her about the animals in her and Bella's care, asking about their injuries and illnesses and what they were doing to help. He was surprised to hear how much she assisted Bella with the animals and interested to know she could stitch up an incision and give shots. She questioned him about his duties around the ranch. It fascinated her that Jake, his father and brothers knew what to do each day when so many chores vied for their attention. She learned that Jake knew all kinds of things about tending minor wounds and injuries among his cattle. He promised to fetch her the next time a medical emergency occurred.
Hannah remembered what Jake had said the first night they were together: that her mind was sexy. Now she knew what he meant. Jake's body would always turn her on, but it was this mental connection, this ability to fire up each other's curiosity that would make him hard to leave.
Once he left to do his chores, she showered, dressed and started a load of laundry before Holt appeared at her door. As much as she hated his early morning visits, she appreciated that at least she didn't have to hunt him down. He never asked her outright if she'd slept with Jake the night before, just gave her a hard look as he pushed into the house and nodded his head when a blush crept up her neck.
"You're getting the hang of it now," he said as he swept a look around the first floor one morning. "Neat as a pin. It isn't so difficult, is it?"
Hannah repressed an urge to punch him. It was one thing to appreciate her own labors. It was another thing altogether to deal with his condescending insistence that everything about the house was her job. She didn't tell him that Jake cleaned up right alongside her in case Holt would count it against her. In fact, she didn't answer him at all.
"Evan Mortimer was by last night," he went on, not expecting her to. Nine days into this routine, they had it down pat.
"Really? What did he want?" He'd surprised her into the comment. She tried to maintain an icy silence on these morning visits to demonstrate to Holt how inappropriate they were, but she was rarely successful. Holt was a master at jolting her out of her calm.
"Seems Jake's not the only one interested in a bison herd. Evan is, too. Of course when you're a billionaire you can piss your money away any way you want to."
"Why'd he come to see you?"
"Because I have a bison."
Hannah's eyebrows shot up.
"We have a bison," Holt amended. "Evan is interested in a joint venture."
"With Jake and me?"
"With the Double-Bar-K. Which I own." Holt frowned. "I'm not dead yet."
Too bad. "Of course not. So what do you think about the idea?"
"I think it's a bunch of tomfoolery! But money has always got its uses. If Mortimer wants to invest, I can at least think about it."
"Jake would certainly be pleased."
"What about you?"
"What does it matter?" Hannah said. "I don't come into the equation."
Holt crossed his arms. "When you marry Jake and raise his children you'll be part of this family. Mathesons stick together. That makes you part of the equation."
She crossed her arms and stared back at him. "I haven't agreed to marry Jake or raise his family, but a bison herd would be lovely. Besides offering companionship to Gladys, I believe that bison are a better alternative to cattle-both for us and for the land."
"Humph. Spoken like a liberal."
She knew that was an insult. "Spoken like someone who cares."
"Do you? Care?"
"Of course I care."
"About Jake? About that baby?" He nodded to her belly and she placed a hand protectively over it.
"There probably is no baby," she reminded him. "But yes, I do care … about both of them."
"Enough to put your own wishes behind you and do what's right?"
Anger flared within her. "How come I'm the only one who has to put my wishes behind me? Why are you trying so hard to box me into this corner?"
"Because if I don't you might just make a run for it and my son might follow you." He looked away, swallowed, and Hannah saw the same sadness she'd seen in him before. She reminded herself that as deranged as his methods were, he only wanted what most parents wanted-to see his grown children happily settled down, preferably close by. "You youngsters don't think I pay much attention to what's going on. You underestimate me. I know my son. He loves this ranch more than I do, but he's restless and he's hungry for something he may not be able to find here; a wife and a mission."
"A mission?"
"Every man likes to innovate and Jake is no different. My father was a conservative man. He grew this ranch slowly and carefully. When it was my turn I learned everything I could about maximizing the land and the herd and I doubled the size of it. Now Jake wants a chance at the helm. He wants to look back to our past heritage to find a more natural way to run the ranch. He wants his bison herd. He thinks it will preserve the integrity of the land. Maybe it will. If I try to stop him he'll jump the fence and find a new pasture." He turned his iron gaze on her. "If you jump the fence he'll follow. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually."
"So I just give up, stay home, forget about my career? That's my fate?"
"It's the fate my wife chose. Can't be too dire."
But it felt like a prison to her. She wasn't Lisa or Autumn. She didn't find joy in transforming a house into a home. She wasn't Mia, playing with redecorating and cooking. She wanted something big to do, something hard, something lucrative. She wanted a career.
"You've got that look on your face," Holt said.
"What look?"
"That jump-the-fence look." She saw a flash of desperation in his eyes. Then it was gone. She felt for him, knew he wanted to be surrounded by a loving family, but she couldn't give up her own dreams to make his come true.
"The thing is, Holt, you've made it crystal clear," she said. She gathered her purse and coat and ushered him toward the door. "I can either be with Jake or I can have my career. In that scenario I choose my career."