I knew I was as much at fault for what happened between Dorian and me as Dorian, but I hadn't stopped to think about how last night wasn’t the first time my judgement had been skewed. I'd written it all off as my attraction to Dorian, but now I wondered. Maybe that wasn't the case entirely.
Maybe I was just an idiot when it came to men.
I suddenly realized that Tyrell was still waiting for an answer. “I'd really like us to stay friends,” I said. “My head's a total mess right now.”
He smiled. “I get it.”
Before either of us could say anything else, the sound of a door slamming caught our attention. Actually, it caught the attention of everyone in the entire gym. I saw the surprise on a few men's faces, but then they went back to what they'd been doing as if nothing happened.
“Well, Dorian's pissed about something,” Tyrell said. He looked down at me. “I don't envy you having to train him when he's like that.”
“Does he lose his temper often?” I asked.
Tyrell shook his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. “He's always been intense, but he never really snaps at people. It was one of the things that made him such a great fighter. He could focus all that intensity, but he never lost his temper and did something stupid.”
Until last night.
But I didn't say that. I did, however, know that it was my fault, and I needed to fix it.
“Wish me luck,” I said, hoping my voice sounded light.
“Luck,” Tyrell said as I walked away.
I paused outside the door to Dorian's office and took a slow breath. I was pretty sure I looked outwardly calm, but my insides were still twisted into knots. I knocked.
“What?” Dorian barked.
I managed to not scowl. “I just wanted to let you know that I'm ready to start whenever you are.”
Silence for a few seconds, then Dorian spoke again, “Go home.”
I clenched my jaw, then forced myself to relax. “We can reschedule for later if you'd prefer.”
“No.” His voice was clipped. Cold. “I'm no longer interested in what you have to offer.”
I stared at the door, hurt and shock mingling with anger at his words. When he told me to come in this morning, I assumed that he would pretend like last night never happened. I'd been willing to accept that.
I sure as hell wasn't going to accept someone talking to me like that.
Spinning around, I headed for the door, feeling eyes on me as I went. But I didn't look at any of them, not even Tyrell. I didn't care about the clothes I'd left here or the fact that I needed the money this job provided. All I cared about was getting as far away from Dorian as possible.
I didn't even realize that someone was standing right outside the door when I pushed through, and even then, it took my brain several seconds to catch up to what I was seeing.
“Gordon?”
Coffee-colored hair. Blue eyes. Dimples.
It was him.
My cheating ex-fiancé.
“What do you want?” I snapped. I was aware that I didn't need to sound so sharp, but I wasn't in the mood to deal with anymore shit right now.
“I came to–”
The rest of his sentence was lost as someone grabbed my arm from behind and spun me around. I had a moment to register those near-purple eyes, and then Dorian's mouth was on mine, the kiss as fierce as the one we'd first shared last night. It was reckless need, the sort of thing that led people to do stupid things.
Like we'd done last night.
The memory was like a splash of cold water, and I pushed against his chest, the movement catching him off guard enough that I was able to break free. I took a step back, my shaking fingers curling into fists.
“Don't touch me.” My voice was steadier than the rest of me. “You made your feelings about what I have to offer perfectly clear.”
An arm went around my shoulders, and I smelled Gordon's familiar aftershave. A few weeks ago, I would've found it comforting, but now it made my stomach turn. Still, at the moment, it was better than staying here with Dorian.
“Come on, babe.”
I let Gordon lead me to a cab, not looking back when I heard my name. I couldn't do this. I thought I could, but it was impossible to be around him. Not if he was going to be an ass one minute, then try to kiss me the next. At least with Gordon, I knew where I stood now.
I didn't listen to Gordon giving the cab driver an address, and I didn't look out the window when we pulled away just in case Dorian was still standing there. For the first minute or so, things were fine. Gordon stayed next to me but didn't say anything. I'd take a few minutes, get myself together, and then make sure the cabbie dropped me off at home before he took Gordon wherever he wanted to go.
I was still trying to clear my head when I felt Gordon's hand on my thigh. I resisted the urge to slap it away, but rather picked it up and put it back in his lap.