The Christmas Cottage(23)

“I’m not sure. He made it through surgery but he’s not out of the woods yet.”

“You have to save him, Miss Holly. You have to.”

“I’m trying, Josh.” She wouldn’t lie to the boy. Wouldn’t promise that Louie would make it. She couldn’t.

Steve slowly pushed himself out of the chair and came to put his arm around Josh. “Josh, she’s doing her best.”

Holly was deathly afraid her best wouldn’t be good enough, yet again. Steve reached out to touch her shoulder, and she flinched. His eyes questioned her, but he didn’t say anything in front of Josh.

“I’m going to go check on Louie again. I’ll stay with him. Why don’t you two both go home?”

“I’m not leaving.” Josh stood there defiantly.

“Okay, we’ll stay awhile longer, bud.” Steve gave his son an encouraging nod.

“I’ll be in the back. I’ll come out soon and let you know how he’s doing.”

They stayed that way for hours. She’d come out and say there was no change with Louie. Josh would insist on staying. Repeat. Finally, about midnight, when she went to the waiting room, Josh was sound asleep.

“There is no change. I’m sorry. Why don’t you bring him home?” Holly nodded towards Josh.

Steve raked his hands through his hair. He looked tired. His face was creased and set with pain. For Josh. For his son’s dog. He stood up and tried to put his arms around her.

She panicked and stepped back, away from the embrace. She chastised herself for believing things could be different. That she could care again and not get hurt. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t hold you? Don’t care about you?” His voice was low and held a hint of accusation.

“I just can’t. I can’t do this again.” Her pulse pounded in her ears, her heart tightened in her chest.

“Do what? Care about an animal again and risk the loss? Or are you talking about caring about me, too?” His eyes pierced through the distance between them.

“Steve, I…” Her heart beat in a riotous rhythm and she fought to keep control. “I can’t do this, not again. I’ll try to save Louie. I hope I can this time. But I was wrong. It’s too soon for me. I’m sorry.”

Steve looked at her and she watched as his eyes turned a dark, smoldering shade of brown. His face hardened. He nodded. “Call if there is any change.” His words were icy cold. He crossed the waiting room, scooped up his son and disappeared into the night. She could see the Christmas lights on Main Street mocking her. See what happens when you care?

* * * * *

She spent the night in the clinic, falling asleep in a chair beside Louie’s kennel sometime in the early morning. When she awoke she could see Louie was awake and looking at her. “Hey, boy. Good morning. How you feeling?” She kept her voice low and soothing.

A quick exam proved to her that he was doing so much better. It never ceased to amaze her how an animal could pull through when she least expected it. Well, her Tucker hadn’t. But, thank goodness, Louie was going to be all right. She could feel it. He’d turned that corner.

The vet tech, Cindy, called and said she’d heard about Louie, and how was he doing? After she heard that Louie was doing better, she offered to come in and watch Louie while Holly went home and got some sleep. That sounded good to Holly. She was exhausted. Not only from being up most of the night for the last two nights, but she was emotionally drained. She’d jumped into a relationship with Steve—and Josh— and Louie, for that matter. The universe had laughed at her and thrown her into an almost repeat of last year. A deep loneliness crept over her, smothering her, making her want to run away. Far away. But it seemed like wherever she ran, there was no escaping.

As much as she wanted to avoid him, she had to call Steve and tell him Louie would be okay. She dialed his number and he picked up on the first ring.

“Louie is doing better. He’s going to make it.”

“Josh, Miss Holly says Louie’s doing better. He’s going to be okay.”

Holly could hear his conversation with Josh and Josh’s cheering in the background. She could almost picture the small boy’s jig of happiness. She smiled a small weak smile.

“Thanks for letting us know.” Steve’s voice was still held that frigid edge.

She didn’t blame him. She’d slept with him then pushed him away the next day. But she just couldn’t do it again. She couldn’t. Dave had only been gone a year. It was too soon.

She heard him click off his phone before she could even say “you’re welcome.”