My grip tightens on Luke’s hand, my palms starting to sweat. ‘And where is this Benny Huntersonly now?’
‘He’s dead,’ he replies solemnly and it’s like a blow to his gut. ‘He took his own life not too long after he killed your parents’. Danny said he was doing drugs and not taking his medication when he broke into your parent’s house with Mira Price to rob them. Not sure how much of that is true, but I’m working on it.’
‘And what about me?’ I ask. ‘Why did Preston … I mean, Danny, do all this shit to me?’
‘Revenge. Obsession. He’s out of his mind. Honestly I don’t know.’
I don’t want to ask it, don’t want to think of my mother this way, but I need to know. ‘The robbery … it didn’t have to do with my mom doing drugs, didn’t it?’
He pauses. ‘I’m not sure yet. Like I said, there’s still a lot I don’t know, nor can I share with you yet because it could ruin the case. I just wanted to call you because you deserve to know – deserve to be able to relax. I know you haven’t done it in a while.’
‘In years,’ I whisper.
I can hear him rustling through papers and a phone ringing in the background, probably still at the station. ‘Then right now you should just relax and get some sleep. It’s probably been hard for the last couple of months.’
I start to smile and cry at the same time as waves of emotions ripple over me. Some of relief. Some of heartache. Some I don’t even recognize. ‘Okay, I will.’
Luke’s freaking out – I can see it in his brown eyes, so I give his hand a reassuring squeeze. It’s okay. I’m going to be okay.
Either the detective can hear my thoughts or my hear tears because he says, ‘Violet, it’s going to be okay.’
It takes me a moment to answer, to process everything that he just told me. I’m not sure how I feel about Preston being the son of the man who took my parent’s life. I feel sick to my stomach. Disgusted. Disappointed. Confused. There’s a lot of history with Preston and I, a lot of things that I did, and all that stuff slams me in the chest at once. I almost fall.
Almost, but not quite.
I grasp tighter onto Luke’s hand. I don’t want to live in the past, let my guilt control me like that, let Preston control me like that.
It’s still a lot to take in and I know there’s something that can briefly take it all away, but that’s the thing. It’ll only be temporary and if I survive whatever crazy, erratic thing I do, everything will still be the same afterward and I’ll still have to face it.
‘I know it is,’ I whisper through my tears and it feels like the truth. For once, it feels like everything’s going to be okay. Yes, not everything turned out perfect. In fact, if I really analyze it, I can see all the ugliness and darkness that has come out of this. I could sink back into that dark hole and let it eat me up, like I did for years. But I’ve only just climbed out of that fucking hole and I don’t want to go back. I want to be strong. I want to let myself be happy.
And let myself be in love.
Two things I never, ever thought were going to be possible, but then I had a taste of them and it was wonderful – I’m not ready to let the wonderful go. I know nothing will ever be perfect; things won’t always turn out the way that I want. That’s not how life works and perfect doesn’t exist. But for the most part, everything will be okay if I just let it be. And I’m going to try my damn hardest; I’m going to go on living life, trying to get better instead of worse. And I have Luke by my side.
And really, that’s all I need.
Chapter 26
One month later….
Violet
‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask, as I stare at the roundabout. It’s barely December but winter has rolled in and has turned the entire park into a winter wonderland. Ice glazes everything and all of the swings glisten with frost.
Luke nods as he brushes some of the snow off the roundabout. ‘Lana told you to do something childishly fun so here you go.’
I pull my coat tighter around myself, wishing I’d had time to shower before we came here. But Luke picked me up straight from the gym after my kickboxing thing with Callie and Seth, something I do at least twice a week. ‘But it’s freezing.’
He cocks an eyebrow at me as he brushes the snow off my gloves. ‘Since when does snow make you back down from a challenge?’
Snow is falling from the sky even though the sun is peeking through the clouds. ‘How did this become a challenge?’
‘Because I’m making it a challenge,’ he tells me cockily as he zips up the leather jacket he’s wearing and waits for me to get on the frozen deathtrap.