Tonight, she would find out. They'd been home a few days. Today had been her first day back at the museum. Luca had asked her to dinner tonight so they could put together their final custody agreement for Edmund and Stuart to submit to the judge. She was supposed to meet him at his apartment, then they'd go somewhere for dinner when they were through. Daisy was staying late to watch Eva.
Luca's apartment was just a few blocks from the museum. She walked down the massive steps to head in that direction. It was a nice evening and she wanted to make the most of the pleasant weather. She was actually feeling pretty good tonight.
At least until she caught a whiff of the nearby hot-dog cart. Normally the smell didn't bother her-sometimes it was even enticing-but tonight it was anything but. She frantically sought out a nearby trash can and emptied the contents of her stomach into it.
When she was through, she straightened and clamped her hand over her nose and mouth. Had she really just done that? She looked around to see if anyone noticed. They had. She was getting more than a few disgusted looks from tourists and locals alike.
A nearby woman reached into her purse and handed Claire a tissue. "I don't know why they call it morning sickness," she said. "More like all the damn time sickness. Those hot-dog carts always got me, too. Don't let those people bother you. When you're bringing a child into the world, you have the right to puke wherever you need to."
Claire tried not to frown at the well-meaning woman. There was no sense in dumping her life story on her by arguing that she couldn't get pregnant. She just accepted the tissue and was thankful that at least one person wasn't judging her. "Thank you."
She dashed across the street when the light changed and tried to put as much distance between her and the mess as she could. It wasn't until she reached the light at the next block that she hesitated and let the woman's words sink into her head.
Pregnant? She couldn't possibly be pregnant.
Admittedly, this did feel like morning sickness. When she was pregnant the first time, there had been days when she couldn't even get out of bed. She lost weight instead of gaining it. She went through a sleeve of saltine crackers a day. The misery of her first trimester was something she'd quickly put out of her mind as the price she paid for Eva, but in the moment it came rushing back with crystal clarity.
She pulled out her phone and looked at her calendar. Doing a little math, she realized that she'd been at the beach over a month and her period was well overdue. But that just had to be a fluke. Yes, as if her public vomiting was a fluke.
Claire crossed the street with the crowd again, feeling more and more anxious with every step. She didn't know why. It was likely the questionable chicken-salad sandwich she'd had at the museum cafeteria today. There was no way she was pregnant. Even if she could conceive normally and Luca hadn't had cancer, the condom had only broken once.
Once was all it took. The ominous words of her high-school sex-ed teacher haunted her.
There was no way she could march into Luca's apartment and act like nothing was wrong while this weighed on her mind. She also didn't want to bring up the possibility and raise both their hopes only to find out she was just perimenopausal with food poisoning. This was easily dealt with. She needed to buy a pregnancy test, take it and move on with her day without this uncertainty. It was a waste of ten dollars, but it was a small price to pay for peace of mind.
In the drugstore, she sought out the aisle she'd haunted while undergoing all those fertility treatments. She picked up her favorite brand and carried it to the counter. How many of these had she taken over the years? Dozens. Only one had ever come back positive. Tonight was probably not the night for a repeat.
After paying for it, she continued down the block to a Starbucks. It may not be her first choice for where to take a pregnancy test, but she had to know now, before she got to Luca's. She took it into the women's restroom, then nervously awaited the results. When the alarm on her phone went off, she finally let herself check the tiny window.
Pregnant.
Claire's jaw dropped open in surprise and shock. That was impossible. How could she...? It had only... She could barely complete a thought, much less a sentence. Putting the cap on, she slipped the test back into her purse and headed back to the drugstore to buy another one from a different brand, then repeated the test. The screen varied, but the results were the same-two lines instead of one.
Confused, she packed up her things and left. It took another block before the news really started to sink in. She was pregnant. After the years of trying, the tests, the shots, the invasive procedures to conceive Eva...she'd managed to get pregnant accidentally. She had prayed for another baby. Dreamed of it, knowing that the odds of it happening were almost astronomical. And now, if all went well, she was going to have one. Eva would have a brother or sister, and she and Luca would have a second child together. It was a miracle.
The excitement was nearly bubbling out of her as she entered his building and signed in at the desk. When she got off the elevator, she had a huge grin on her face. She couldn't suppress it as much as she wanted to surprise him with the news.
Luca opened the door. A curious expression came across his face as he looked at her. "Hi. What are you so happy about?" He stepped back to let Claire inside and took her jacket.
"I have some news," she said. "Let's sit down first."
Luca followed her over to the couch where they sat together. She scooped up his hands in hers. "I know that you and I have only been together a short while, and for anyone else, this might be an unwelcome development, but I haven't been feeling well since we got back. I hadn't thought much about it, but a lady outside the museum said something today that got me to thinking. On the way over here, I took a pregnancy test..."
Luca stiffened. Those were the last words he expected to come out of her mouth. Sitting up straight, he pulled his hands away from hers. "And?" he forced himself to ask, already knowing the answer. If it was negative she wouldn't have bothered mentioning it.
She reached into her purse and pulled out two pregnancy tests. "And it came out positive. Both of them. I'm pregnant. I could hardly believe it myself. It must've happened when the condom broke that first time."
Luca took one of the tests from her hand, studying the tiny screen and hoping for the information to change. It was happening again. The dull ache in his gut told him that much. What he didn't understand was why she would try this. She knew he couldn't have children. He'd told her that only a few short days ago. "It's not possible," he said.
"I know. That's what I thought. I mean, I would have thought it was impossible, which is why I ignored all the signs. I need to go to the doctor to confirm the results and check on everything, but-"
"No," he said, interrupting her stream of words. He couldn't stand to just sit there and listen to her prattle on when he knew in his heart it was all lies. The surprise, the excitement...it all had to be carefully crafted so he'd believe the child was his and not question it.
"What do you mean, no? You told me you wanted a family. Why are you so upset? I'm pregnant, Luca."
"I'm sure you are." He got up from his seat and walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. He needed a little space. He could feel the muscles in his neck and jaw tightening. Before too long, he'd have a raging headache.
Claire didn't take the hint. She followed him through his apartment, a confused frown wrinkling her forehead. "I thought you'd be happy."
Luca chuckled bitterly and looked down at the pregnancy test in his hand. He'd made that mistake once; he wouldn't fall for it again. It was a false hope. Instead, he tossed the test into the trash can. "If I was the father, I would be happy. But like I said, that's impossible."
Claire froze in place, not quite sure she could believe the words he'd just said. "Luca, you are the father. Who else would it be?"
To be honest, he didn't really want to consider the possibilities. He was already fighting through this storm of emotions swirling inside him. He didn't need to add furious jealousy to the list. Luca narrowed his gaze at her. "I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure it's not the sterile guy in the room."
"Look, I'm as surprised as you are. Between the two of us and our issues, it never crossed my mind that it could happen, but it did. You are the baby's father. I've spent every day and night of the last month with you. The last man I was with before you died a year ago."