The CEO's Unexpected Child(22)

       
           



       

Luca watched the wheels silently turn in her head as he spoke. He knew  it made sense, but he knew she also loved her place. "It's up to you,  but as you said, that amount of money I'm offering you could easily make  that a possibility."

She brushed a stray strand of honey blond hair from her face and  nodded. "I'll have to think on that. I like being able to get away from  the chaos of the city sometimes."

He laughed. "You act as though Brooklyn is in the middle of a hayfield.  If you want, I'll buy a country house in Connecticut you can visit  whenever you need to get away."

Claire's eyes widened. "Don't be silly."

Luca didn't think it was silly. It seemed completely practical to him.  Despite all his planning to seduce Claire and lure her into a  relationship while keeping himself emotionally removed, he'd failed  miserably. He wasn't sure he'd call what he felt for her love, but he  certainly felt more than he'd ever intended to.

At this point, he was willing to do almost anything it took to get  Claire to play a bigger role in his life. Having her live nearby was  just one part of that. If buying a country house helped his cause, so be  it. He was dreading the end of this trip. He knew that returning home  would mean long hours in the office, and, if he was lucky, seeing Eva  every other weekend. That wasn't good enough for him, especially when  nothing in the paperwork dictated how often he'd get to see Claire.

"Well, how about this? I've been thinking a lot about all of this the  past few days since my family left. If I'm being honest, I don't want to  let what you and I have started slip away. I want us to build on it.  It's all new to me, this relationship stuff, but I want to know how much  more we can have together. And maybe if that happens and goes well, all  that paperwork and custody agreements won't matter anymore. I don't  just want Eva in my life, Claire. I want you in my life, too."

Claire's mouth dropped open the way it always did when he stole her  prepared words from her lips. After a moment, her jaw closed and she  smiled. "I want you in my life, too, Luca."

Luca leaned into her, wiping away the smile with his kiss. The minute  his lips met hers, he felt that familiar surge of need run though his  body and urge him on. That touch, combined with being alone again in the  house, reminded him just how long he'd gone without touching Claire the  way he'd wanted to. While his family was there, she had kept her  distance. Now that she'd agreed to be in his life for a while longer, he  wanted her back in his bed, as well.

"Luca," Claire said as she pressed against his chest with the palms of  her hands. "Wait. I'm glad you're happy, but I wasn't finished. There  was a ‘but' coming."

But? Luca sat back against the arm of the couch with a frown. "What's wrong?"

Claire sighed. "There's nothing wrong, per se, but I wanted you to know that your mother told me something while she was here."

Luca felt the dull ache of dread in his stomach. She hadn't... Who was  he kidding? Of course she had. His mother never respected his desire to  keep his private past private. "What did she happen to share?" he asked,  knowing full well what the answer was-she knew he was a one-balled  wonder and had reservations about the two of them together.

Claire's eyebrows drew together in concern. "She told me about Jessica  and the baby. Primarily, the point was how happy you seemed and how  she'd wanted it so badly after everything you went through with Jessica.  It worries me, Luca."

Luca was surprised. He thought for sure his mother would've spilled the  cancer story. Perhaps she'd finally agreed to let him put that behind  him. He breathed a sigh of relief. "What worries you, exactly?"

"That you didn't tell me about it yourself," she said, surprising him.  "Since we've been here, I've told you every secret I have. I told you  about Jeff, about my feelings of inadequacy and my failing marriage. You  had a million opportunities to open up to me about this, but you  didn't."                       
       
           



       

"It didn't seem relevant," Luca said. "It turned out to be nothing. I  don't have another child you don't know about, so I didn't think it  would matter to you."

"It's not about the child, but that you kept it to yourself. Secrets  worry me, Luca. Jeff kept secrets. And as much as I want you in my life  and I want to see how far this can go, I need to know you're going to be  honest with me, even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it might expose  the ugly parts of ourselves that we don't want anyone to see. It  concerns me that you don't trust what we have enough to share that with  me. It makes me wonder what else you're keeping from me."

Luca started to open his mouth to insist he wasn't keeping things from  her, but she held her finger to his lips. "Don't. Don't tell me you're  not, because I know that you are. Tell me, Luca. Tell me why you were at  the fertility clinic. What happened to you? Tell me right now or I  can't move forward with this."

Luca sighed. He'd been dreading this moment since he'd decided to make a  future with Claire. Things could go horribly wrong from here, but he  got the feeling it would be worse to avoid her questions. As much as he  didn't want to, he needed to tell this story at least one more time.

"When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. I  missed most of my junior and senior years going through treatment. I had  to have surgery to remove the tumor along with one of my testicles,  then I went through extensive radiation and chemotherapy. I donated at  the fertility clinic before the radiation because I would likely be  sterile afterward. That's why Jessica having my baby was such a huge  deal to my family. I wasn't supposed to be able to have children. I  don't like talking about it, so I avoided your questions about school  earlier because it would lead into that topic. I didn't get to go to  prom. I got my diploma in a wheelchair. That whole period of my life was  defined by my illness."

Claire's expression crumbled into near tears as he told her the truth.  He reached his arm out for her. "Come here," he said. Claire snuggled  against him, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. With her  beside him and her curious eyes turned away, it was easier for him to  talk.

"Don't cry. I'm sorry. I should've told you about that, but it was so  hard on me and I don't like reliving it. I was just a kid. Someone that  age shouldn't have to worry about whether or not they can have children  someday when they'd never even kissed a girl, much less face their own  mortality. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to my next birthday.  The price of beating the cancer was high. It took more from me than a  teenager my age could understand at the time. Even now, knowing what I  do, I would pay it gladly, but it's not something that ever goes away.  I've continued to pay to this day."

* * *

Claire could hear the pain in Luca's words and it made her heart break a  little more the longer he spoke. He was right; that wasn't something a  child should have to deal with.

"The physical toll was a lot to get over. I recovered from the surgery,  my hair grew back after the chemo, but that really isn't the worst part  of it all. The worst part is the waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

"Waiting for it to show up again."

She placed a reassuring hand on his knee. "You don't know that it will.  It has been over ten years since you were sick. That's a long time to  go. Don't you think if the cancer was going to come back it would have  already?"

"Don't use logic in the same context as cancer. It doesn't work.  Besides, I know that's not true. The treatment I received to destroy the  cancer alone puts me at risk of developing a secondary cancer at some  point. It also can cause a slew of other health issues later in life. I  suppose I should be happy to have a ‘later in life' to get sick from the  long-term effects of the chemo and radiation."

"So is that why you've focused so much on work at the expense of your relationships? In case you got sick again?"                       
       
           



       

"In part," he admitted. "The children part doesn't help, either. I  don't ever want a woman to give up her dream of a family because she had  the misfortune of falling in love with me."

"Luca!" Claire said, sitting up to look him in the eye. "The woman who  falls in love with you is anything but unfortunate. You have so much to  offer. You're doing yourself a disservice by only focusing on what you  can't do. Besides, there are plenty of women out there who already have  children or don't want any. Or can't have any," she said with a pointed  tone. "Like me."