That explained a lot. Despite being a mother, Claire was learning as she went. As an only child, she didn't have any experience caring for children. Her every move was a mix between her research and maternal instincts. "No, that's not it, either. Thank you for all your help with her. You're right, I was feeling a little frazzled in the moment and was glad to have someone step in. I shouldn't need help, but it's nice to have it every now and then."
Luca placed a comforting hand on Claire's shoulder. The warmth of him against her bare skin reminded her of his earlier touches, sending a shiver running down her spine. It wasn't just about temperatures, though. The simple feel of his large, strong hands on her body was enough for her to want to pick up where they'd left off a few minutes ago.
Suddenly, she was aware of how close Luca was and how good he smelled. It had been a long time since she'd been touched by a man, even in comfort. For some reason, that combination along with Luca's radiating masculinity was more than she could take. Of course she'd given into it. Any woman in her position would have. He told her she was beautiful. They had a child together. He kissed her as if there was nothing more in the world he could ever desire. But once the spell of their kiss faded away, she knew that nothing more could come of it.
There was a wall up when it came to Luca. She could tell the moment their discussions went off into uncomfortable territory for him. Even the most harmless questions about his high-school prom seemed to set a glaze over his eyes. The answers that followed felt hollow and inauthentic. Not necessarily that he was lying, but that his response was practiced. Claire had her fair share of practiced speeches with Jeff as he successfully hid his infidelity. She wasn't about to make that mistake twice, even with a man who was ten times more thoughtful and charming than Jeff ever was.
"You're a mother, tesorina, not a superhero. It's okay to accept help."
"Thank you." Claire knew that, at least in theory. Putting it into practice was harder. Aside from Daisy, she didn't really have anyone to lean on for help. Despite the messy circumstances, perhaps having Luca in Eva's life wouldn't be so bad. There would be someone else she could call when she needed help, and when Eva stayed with her father, Claire would get the occasional break to recharge and relax. She didn't realize just how much she needed that until this moment. She wasn't quite ready to just give in on the custody agreement yet, but she was starting to see the silver lining of the situation.
"I'll stay up with her for a while if you want to go back to bed."
Claire immediately felt anxious about his offer. It was one thing to let him help and another entirely to let him take over. She hated questioning his every motivation, but she couldn't be naive. What could he tell the judge then? That when Eva was sick, he was the one who had to care for her? No, thanks. "That won't be necessary," she said, reaching to take Eva from his arms. "I was having trouble sleeping anyway. I'm going to stay up until she starts feeling better."
Luca didn't immediately release Eva. He watched Claire suspiciously, and she fought to swallow the onset of an unexpected yawn. "I think the sandman is ready for you now. My time will come later. We'll be fine, I promise. Go back to bed. I'll wake you up if something happens. Otherwise, I'll rock her until she falls back to sleep and put her in her crib."
Claire was resistant, but she could tell by the firm, yet gentle expression on Luca's face that he would insist. Perhaps he was just being nice and not looking for ammunition to use against her in court. Her eyelids were getting too heavy for her to argue any longer. "Okay, thank you. I'll leave the door open to the bedroom."
"Good night," he said with Eva snuggled into his arms.
She could tell that Eva would probably be asleep before she was. Not much to worry about, then. She reluctantly returned to her bedroom and burrowed beneath the down comforter. With the late night emotional highs, quickly came the lows. Before she knew it, she crashed.
The last thought as she drifted to sleep was how Luca's lips had felt as they pressed against hers. And she wondered-would she ever feel that again?
* * *
It seemed as though she'd just closed her eyes when she opened them to daylight streaming through the window. Claire sat up in bed, noticing the bedroom door was still open and the crib remained empty. If Eva hadn't fallen asleep, why hadn't Luca woken her up?
Climbing from bed, she pulled on her robe and returned to the living room. She expected to find them milling around the kitchen or out on the deck, but it seemed as though things hadn't gone as Luca planned. There on the couch under a chenille blanket, she found Luca and Eva. Both were asleep, with Eva curled into a little ball on his chest. Claire stood there for a moment, watching the two of them together. It was precious. They both made the same little grumpy faces while they dreamed, their brows drawn together and their lips pouty in sleepy consternation. She wanted to capture the memory of them together like this and never forget it.
"Good morning."
Claire was startled to notice Luca's eyes had opened, and he was watching her as closely as she was watching him. "Morning. You two look pretty cozy."
Luca looked down at the infant drooling on his bare chest. "I guess so. We must've conked out pretty quickly after you went to bed. I don't think I've moved an inch the whole night." He sat up slowly as to not disturb the baby, groaning softly as he stretched his stiff limbs. "What time is it?"
"A little after nine."
"Wow." Luca ran one hand through the messy waves of his hair and shook his head. "I haven't slept that late in years."
Claire approached him and held out her arms to relieve him of Eva for a while. "I'll take Eva. Why don't you take a shower to loosen up, and I'll make us all some breakfast."
Luca stood and handed off the sleeping infant. "Please make coffee. Strong, black coffee."
"I can do that."
He started toward the staircase, but before he could reach it, Claire said, "Luca?" He stopped and turned. "I wanted to say thank you."
"For what?" he asked.
"For last night."
He gave her a guilty smirk in response. "Which part? The part where I lost control and almost took you against the refrigerator? Or the part where I pushed you aside to take care of Eva when I could tell you didn't want me to?"
That was a good question. The words had leaped from her lips before she'd really thought them through. "Both, maybe. The combination of those two things gave me a little taste of what it's like to have someone in my life again. To help me, to hold me. It was nice."
"I know what you mean," he said. "I think you and I have both gotten too used to being alone. My mother is always reminding me that's not how people are supposed to live. I'm starting to think she's right."
"I may not know you that well, but from what I've seen you're a good man, Luca. The woman you let into your life would be very lucky."
A sadness Claire didn't understand washed over Luca's face. Why would a compliment like that steal the light from his eyes so quickly when her angry insults of the past didn't seem to make the slightest dent in his armor?
"Thank you," he said, but she got the feeling he didn't believe it, just as she didn't believe it when he told her she was beautiful. They both seemed to have a lot of doubts when it came to their self-worth and value to the opposite sex. Claire knew why she felt that way, but Luca? He was an attractive, thoughtful and wealthy businessman with a way of complimenting a woman so her knees turned to butter. She wasn't sure why he wasn't fighting women off with a stick. He wasn't the kind of man she needed in her life, but he would be a great choice for any other woman.
Claire wanted him to know that she really meant what she'd said, that it wasn't just some flattery. "I wish I'd found a man more like you when I was younger and looking for someone to start my life with. If I had, perhaps I wouldn't be a widow wondering how her life went off track."
The sadness faded away and Luca's jaw tightened along with his grip on the banister. He looked up at her with eyes that reflected a confusing combination of regret and irritation. "If I were you, I wouldn't waste my wishes on a man like me," he said, and headed downstairs.