Wasn’t this what she’d wanted forever? Wasn’t this her fantasy come true? So why was she so scared? Why was there an ache in her chest that seemed to get heavier and heavier until it crushed the air from her lungs?
‘No matter what happened … we can’t, Callum.’
‘Why can’t we? I’ve seen it in your eyes and I felt it in that kiss the day I left Sydney. We’re not kids anymore, Ava. I know what I want. And I want you.’
‘You make it sound so simple.’
‘If I’m wrong, you need to tell me. Tell me you don’t want me.’
Saying those words would be a lie and Ava decided that she’d been lying long enough.
‘What if I do? What difference does that make? I can’t want you, don’t you see? Your history is my history, too. And I couldn’t live with myself if I betrayed my sister.’
‘Betray her? What are you talking about? I’m divorced, Ava.’
Ava felt shaky and dizzy. ‘I can’t … I can’t talk about this now. Like this.’
‘I didn’t want to do it like this, either. But I couldn’t wait to talk to you. I couldn’t wait another day to tell you.’
‘Don’t, Callum,’ she pleaded.
Callum’s voice grew serious. ‘I’m back Monday. I need to see you. We need to talk about this.’
‘There’s nothing more to say. I’ll be finished on Monday.’ She took a deep breath. Didn’t want to say the words, but they came in a rush. ‘Then we’re done, Callum.’
‘You’ll never be done with me. Because this is real, Ava. I’ll see you Monday.’ There was silence down the line. ‘Goodnight, Ava.’
‘Goodnight, Callum.’
*
Callum tossed his phone onto the perfectly made bed in his hotel suite and it bounced on the taut sheets. He’d had a full-on five days of negotiations with a potential new business partner on a major construction project in the Asian city. Both sides were trying to drive a hard bargain and talks had been intense, involving a lot of to-ing and fro-ing and spreadsheets at twenty paces.
But the whole time, his head had been somewhere else.
His head had been in that kiss.
Because he was in love with her. If he hadn’t known it when he’d left Sydney, he sure as hell knew it now. A week in the company of an interchangeable array of men in suits had been more than a man in deep lust could bear. When Callum closed his eyes, he saw her again, lying on the grass at The Meadows, her breathing heavy, her breasts moving as her chest rose and fell. Her hair was mussed and had strewn all around her head, like a dark chocolate pillow on the luxuriant green of the well-watered lawn, and her limbs were loose and splayed. He’d wanted her then.
And it had nothing to do with his ex-wife, or being lonely or scarred by what had happened in his marriage or any of that shit. He’d met the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. However they’d got to this point, they were there now. He’d spent all the years since he’d first met her thinking of her as Ava the Terrible. Now she was sexy Ava. Dirty Ava. Capable and snarky and hot Ava. Beautiful Ava.
He picked up his phone.
Evelyn answered after one ring. ‘Good evening.’ She said it as if she wasn’t surprised that he was ringing her late on a Friday night. He had to do something about that. She deserved to have a life too. After this one request.
‘Evelyn. Sorry to bother you this late. I apologise for that. I need to get on the next flight back to Sydney. Can you sort that out?’
‘You were supposed to be in Singapore for a few more days. Is everything all right?’ she asked. ‘Has something happened?’
He smiled at the idea that he had two women in his life who cared enough to ask that question.
‘It’s all good. I just need to get home.’ He lifted his suitcase on to the bed and unzipped it.
‘Of course, Callum. I’ll email you the details as soon as I make the booking.’ Then there was a characteristic pause, which usually meant Evelyn was going to give him a polite suggestion about what he should do next. ‘You sound … I’m not sure this is right, but you sound happy.’
‘Wish me luck, Evelyn,’ he said with a wry grin. ‘Wish me luck.’
*
Ava tugged her sheets up to her face and wiped her tears away. She’d tossed her book on to the floor and turned off her bedside lamp. She was lying in the darkness of her lonely room, silent, sad, bewildered by what had just happened and wracked with insurmountable guilt.
Callum’s words were in her head, twisting and torturing her. I want you. I need you.
Oh, how she wanted and needed him, too. How she loved him. How she wanted him in her arms and in her bed, laughing with her, teasing her, loving her. And on Monday, precisely two-and-a-half days away, he would be back and she would have to tell him no.