The problem was, they would always have a past.
The morning’s turn of events called for a strong coffee. Ava trudged to the kitchen and switched on her coffee machine. She found solace in the everyday: grinding the beans, pouring in the water, warming the milk. This was her life. This was where she belonged. She was kidding herself if she thought one kiss meant anything. It had to mean nothing. It was nothing more than a pit stop on the road to heartache. Ava reminded herself once again who Callum was and what he’d done. He’d broken the heart of someone she loved, which meant he could do the same to her.
She needed to forget all about Callum. Finally. Maybe the kiss would help put a stop to her absurd fantasy. Yes, that would work. It had been alright. Moderately okay. Nothing out of the ordinary.
She found her phone and called Andy.
‘Boss,’ he answered in a sleepy voice after eight long rings.
‘Minion. How are you doing?’
Andy yawned dramatically down the line.
‘Big night?’ Ava asked with a smile.
‘Uh huh. That’s what we single people do, Ava. We go out and have fun. And then we spend Saturday recovering from it. And, mysteriously, the recovery is now taking way longer than it used to when I was in my twenties. So what’s up? Did someone have a gardening emergency while I was asleep?’
If only. Gardening emergencies would be a piece of cake compared with getting over Callum Malone.
‘Andy, I’ve made an important life decision.’
He yawned. ‘You giving up coffee again?’
‘God, no. This has to do with my sex life.’
‘What sex life?’ Andy asked with a chuckle down the line.
‘That’s exactly my point. I need to go out there and get one.’
‘Well,’ Andy said, ‘good for you. And who is the lucky man?’
‘Here’s the thing.’ Ava closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. Sometimes secrets made you hyperventilate and you had to be prepared. ‘The man I really, really want to have sex with, and who I think wants to have sex with me, is in a major no-go area.’
‘Callum, right?’
Ava spluttered. ‘How on earth did you know that?’
‘Please. You’ve been talking about the guy for years. You’ve mentioned more than once or twice how much you hate him and what he did to Lulu. I’m not even exactly sure what he did to her but I know you’ve told me a million times how much you despise him. Which means you don’t. In fact, I’m pretty sure it means the exact opposite.’
‘Oh, God,’ Ava moaned. This was Andy, her best friend, and it was safe to talk to him, but she still got that familiar humiliating shrinking inside at the thought that for so long she had loved someone who would never love her back.
‘You poor thing,’ Andy said. ‘I was hoping desperately for you to meet someone else so you could fall madly in lust and forget all about him.’
‘So was I.’ She’d tried. Oh, how she’d tried. She had to accept, finally, that it would forever be the wrong time for her and Callum.
‘Do you want to come round tonight? I have the latest season of Game of Thrones. All that violence might help.’
‘I’ve got a better idea. I need to have sex.’
‘Honey, you’re talking to the wrong man.’
Ava managed a laugh. ‘Remember you tried to set me up with the guy who lives next door to you? The hot one who you secretly think is gay but so isn’t?’
‘Perhaps there’s a little wishful thinking on my part there, but yes, I remember.’
‘Is he still available?’
‘What are you saying, Ava? Are you up for a blind date?’
Oh God. What was she saying? She took a deep breath and told herself what she should have been telling herself all along.
You should move on.
You have to forget him.
‘Yes,’ she said out loud and proud and felt a surge of strength through her. ‘I’m totally up for a blind date. I need to get Callum out of my system. I haven’t had sex in a long time and I need to have sex so I stop thinking about having sex with him. I know I said no the last three times you wanted to give him my number, but I’m totally on board now. Give him my number. Please. Right this second.’
‘Does this mean that …?’
‘Yes,’ she replied and pinched the bridge of her nose until it hurt. ‘I’m moving on. It’s time. You are talking to a woman who wants to get on with her life, Andy. And your neighbour, the hot and definitely not gay Paul, sounds like the perfect new start.’
‘You go, girl. I’ll accidently bump into him when I knock on his door this evening. Perhaps I’ll be looking for a cup of sugar.’