The Butterfly Box(25)

She bent over the table and began to chop up the vegetables to calm her agitated nerves.

Ramon followed his daughter reluctantly out onto the terrace and sat down at the table, glad to be able to hide the excitement that strained against his shorts. He poured himself some coffee and buttered a piece of toast. Helena was sitting at the other end of the terrace with his mother and Hal. She looked happier and more relaxed but Ramon didn’t notice, all he saw was Estella and all he could think about was how he was going to engineer it so that he could make love to her.

Federica sat on the chair next to his with her legs swinging in the air impatiently. She placed the box on the table in front of her and opened and closed it, turned it around and tilted it but Ramon was too distracted to give her the attention she wanted.

‘Good morning, son,’ said Ignacio, emerging with his panama hat placed firmly on his head, in a pair of loose ivory trousers and a short-sleeved, sky-blue shirt. ‘I thought we could go and have lunch in Zapallar today then drive on to Papudo. I know someone around here who wants to ride on the ponies,’ he said and chuckled as Federica leapt down from her chair and ran up to him.

‘Yes please!’ she cried, throwing her arms around his waist. Ignacio patted her white hair and took off his hat to fan himself. It was hot and the air was sticky with the scent of the eucalyptus trees.

‘That’s a lovely idea, Nacho,’ said Mariana. ‘The children would love that. You’d like an ice cream, wouldn’t you, Hal?’ she said to Hal who was playing with the box of toys Mariana always kept in the house for her grandchildren. Hal nodded before once again busying himself with his game.

‘I’m going to take Fede down to the beach,’ said Ramon, who had no intention of going to Zapallar for lunch. He was going to spend the afternoon making love to Estella.

‘I’ll come with you, Ramon,’ said Mariana. ‘I could do with a walk. Will you be all right here, Helena?’ she asked.

Helena smiled and nodded. ‘I’ll be fine with Hal, thank you,’ she replied. She hoped Ramon would tell his parents of their plans, because she didn’t think she had the courage to tell them herself. She watched them disappear back into the house. She had slept well and woken in a good humour. Mariana and Ignacio’s house was serene and cool, away from the tension that seemed to cling to the walls back in Viña. Here she felt liberated. They had separate rooms and she had her own space. Ramon was diluted with his parents. He didn’t seem so big and oppressive with them as he did when he was alone with her. She lay back in her chair and thought of Polperro.

Ramon and Mariana wandered down the beach while Federica skipped and jumped, playing tag with the waves that rushed up onto the beach. It was too early for people to start filling up the sand with their towels and their oiled bodies, so they had the beach to themselves.

‘I’m so pleased you’ve come back, Ramon,’ said Mariana happily. She had taken off her sandals to reveal her painted red toenails that ate into the sand as she walked. ‘We do miss you when you’re away. I know you and understand you,’ she said sadly, ‘so I’m not complaining. You do give us such pleasure.’

‘Mama,’ he said, taking her hand. ‘You give me pleasure too. I don’t know why I can’t stick around for long, something inside me just tells me to keep moving.’

‘I know. It’s your creativity, mi amor,’ she said as if that excused everything.

‘I wish I were married to someone like you,’ he sighed.

‘Helena understands you more than you think. It’s good for you both to get away together. She looked very strained yesterday, but the colour has come

back to her cheeks today. She seems much happier.’

‘Does she?’ he asked. He had barely noticed her.

‘Yes, she does. You know she needs a bit of time to get to know you again each time you come back. You have to be patient and not expect too much.’

‘Yes,’ he said. He was glad his father hadn’t shared their conversation with her. He knew he should tell her the truth himself. That Helena was leaving him, leaving Chile, leaving to start again on a distant shore. But he knew it would break his mother’s heart to tell her that she wouldn’t watch her grandchildren grow up and he couldn’t bear to upset her. She was so happy to see them, now wasn’t the moment. So he just smiled down at her.

‘Mama, do you mind if I don’t come to Zapallar with you all. I’m weary. I’d really appreciate some time alone. I know you understand me better than anyone. I want some quiet time without the children,’ he said carefully, knowing how to get around his mother from years of practice.