‘What’s the big deal, Torquil, he’s an old friend?’ she protested.
‘That’s not what I asked,’ he replied angrily.
Federica swallowed hard, his expression was so remote she barely recognized him. ‘Of course I was going to tell you, but you didn’t give me a chance.’
‘You had all of last night to tell me. He called you yesterday,’ he shouted suddenly, slamming his glass down on the table in exasperation. Federica flinched at the severity of his tone. ‘You didn’t tell me,’ he continued in a menacingly soft voice, turning around to face her, ‘because your intentions weren’t honourable.’
Federica’s chin wobbled as she fought against the impulse to cry. For the first time in her marriage she felt consumed with fear. ‘I didn’t tell you, because I knew you wouldn’t let me go,’ she said hoarsely. ‘And I so wanted to go-’
‘So you lied to me?’ he argued, scrutinizing her face with narrowed eyes. ‘My own wife lied to me?’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t even trust my own wife.’
‘I knew you’d say no,’ she explained, unable to swallow the moan that choked up from her chest. ‘I haven’t seen any of my old friends for years. I miss them.’
‘Fede, I’m not your gaoler,’ he said in a more gentle tone. ‘There’s always logic behind my requests. Put yourself in my shoes, how would you feel if I had
lunch with an old girlfriend and didn’t tell you?’
She gulped. ‘I’d probably feel jealous.’ Torquil always had a winning argument for everything.
‘Look, let me explain with an analogy,’ he said, sitting down beside her and taking her hand in his. Torquil loved inventing the perfect analogy to illustrate his case. Take a porn video,’ he began. She frowned at him. ‘No, listen. If there’s a porn video sitting on the video player it’s all too easy to put it in and have a peek, whereas, if you have to go all the way out to a video shop, risk being seen by someone, face the embarrassment of asking for it, paying for it, then sneaking home to watch it, you’re less likely to do it. Do you understand?’ ‘Are you trying to tell me that by having lunch with Sam, I’m in danger of having an affair?’
‘Exactly.’
‘But, Torquil,’ she insisted. ‘That’s madness. He’s like my brother.’
‘But he isn’t your brother,’ he replied sharply.
‘I’m as likely to have an affair with him as have an affair with Hal.’
‘It’s just logic. I don’t want my wife having close male friends. It’s dangerous, believe me. I’ve got more experience than you, you’re very naive, little
one,’ he said, caressing her cheek. ‘I love you. I adore you. I don’t want to lose you. In fact, I’ll do anything not to lose you. Anything at all.’
Federica shivered and waited apprehensively.
‘When I said I’d love you for life, I meant it. All these requests of mine might seem strange to you, but they’re implemented to safeguard our marriage. It’s for you and me,’ he explained. He leant over and kissed her. But Federica didn’t feel like being kissed, she felt confused. He took her by the hand. ‘Come upstairs, I hate fighting with you. Let’s make up.’
‘Torquil, please,’ she objected in a thin voice that was barely audible.
He seemed not to notice her tears. ‘I want to show you why you don’t need to have male friends. They can’t give you what I give you. Come on, little one, convince me that you’re not angry with me.’
Reluctantly she allowed him to unbutton her trousers and pull them off. She lay on the bed in her shirt and panties, trying to control her snivelling. He closed the curtains, took the telephone off the hook and put Pink Floyd in the CD player. Then he dimmed the lights. ‘Don’t cry, my darling, we’re making up now,’ he soothed, kissing her forehead. ‘I’m going to blindfold you,’ he added slowly.
‘Oh, Torquil, I ..
‘Shhh,’ he whispered, placing his finger over her mouth. He then put it inside her lips and traced it across her gums. Inwardly she recoiled with revulsion. He pulled a silk scarf out of his bedside drawer and tied it over her eyes. She closed her eyes into the blackness, wondering where he was and what he was doing. Finally, she felt him unbutton her shirt and open it, releasing the catch on her bra. As he traced her skin with a long white feather, slid his tongue between the gaps in her toes and derived a perverse pleasure from making love to her with her panties on she felt nothing and stifled a sob.