‘Time goes so fast, doesn’t it?' she mused. ‘I’ll never forget that day you rescued me from the lake.’
‘Or the time I kissed you in the barn.' he added and looked at her steadily, silently wondering why on earth he had brought it up.
Federica’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. ‘It was nice.' she replied tightly, trying to dissemble. ‘It seems eons ago.'
‘It was your first kiss.' he said, watching her carefully.
‘But not my last,’ she retaliated boldly. He lowered his eyes, remembering the dreaded Torquil and stared into the bottom of his glass. ‘It was nice of you to initiate me into the world of romance, Sam. I should thank you,’ she said coolly, recalling the pain his indifference had caused her and wanting to punish him for it. ‘I’d better get back to the sitting room. They’ll all wonder what we’re doing in here. After all, it wasn’t so long ago that I had a crush on you.’ She laughed flippantly. ‘But we all grow up in the end, don’t we?’ she said before leaving Sam alone to chew on her words.
But Federica didn’t go back into the sitting room. She went into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She sat on the seat and waited for her heartbeat to slow down and for the colour to drain away from her hot face. She was no longer afraid of Sam, but he had hurt her and she couldn’t forgive him for that. He had played with her feelings for amusement and then dropped her
once his fun had been had. She was no longer infatuated with him. She felt little more than the sweet afterglow of her first innocent love. But she recognized in his eyes a glimmer of regret, a glint of disappointment. She sensed that her new relationship with Torquil infuriated him and it gave her pleasure. He was too late. She belonged to someone else. He had missed his moment and she hoped he would live to regret it.
Federica soon forgot her brief confrontation with Sam. She returned to London after Christmas and into the all-consuming arms of Torquil. When he told her he was taking her skiing to Switzerland for a long weekend, just the two of them, she knew he was going to make love to her and hastily she booked an appointment with the doctor.
She thought about sex often. When he kissed her she longed for his hands to explore her body and discover it as she had explored it and discovered it as a child. Her limbs ached from wanting him so much, but she needed to be sure that he was going to stay. Her deepest fear was of opening up and giving herself to him only to watch him walk out of her life afterwards, leaving her broken and humiliated. She had to trust him first. But little by little Torquil
earned her trust. He was always there for her. He called her when he said he would, he was never late when he arrived to take her out, he was dependable, reliable and most importantly he put her at the centre of his world. When she accepted his invitation to stay in his father’s chalet in Switzerland she did so with the intention of letting him in.
Torquil’s chalet was nestled into the side of the mountain, surrounded by tall fir trees with a spectacular view down the valley. They stood on the snowy balcony watching the stars glimmer in the clear black sky like cut glass. An incandescent moon lit up the mountains with an almost phosphorescent light, allowing them to see details as if it were day. Torquil took her by the hand and led her into their bedroom where a jubilant fire danced in the grate, fighting off the cold mountain air that entered in through the open window. Then he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly on the mouth. M want you to remember this moment for ever,’ he breathed.
‘I will.’
‘I want it to mean as much to you as it does to me,’ he said. Too moved to reply she abandoned herself to her senses, taking pleasure from his caresses
and from the warm, wet sensation of his mouth loving hers. She trembled as his hands pulled her shirt out from her trousers and crept up inside, feeling the soft innocence of her skin. He was touched by the knowledge that he was peeling open the petals of an unpicked flower, enabling her to experience physical love for the first time. He traced his fingers over her small breasts, touching her nipples and feeling them swell. He removed her shirt and watched the light of the flickering flames lick her flesh. Then he unbuttoned her trousers and pulled them down so that she stood in her panties, smiling at him shyly.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered admiringly, tracing with heavy eyes every line and curve of her body. For a moment she floundered with embarrassment, aware of her vulnerability and unsure of what to do. But he seemed to sense her shyness and taking her hands in his he kissed them before leading them to unbutton his shirt and his trousers until he was standing naked and proud before her. He pulled her against him and buried his face in the angle of her neck. Then his fingers ran up the inside of her thigh until they reached the line of her panties. Her legs nearly buckled under her, but he didn’t lead her to the bed but insisted she stand as they slid inside to where her longing lay hot and undisguised. She caught her breath as he stroked her with deft fingers,