“I would never hurt you, please go on,” he forced out.
“Maybe we should talk about this later,” she said, perhaps realizing for the first time just how possessive the males were of their mates.
He shook his head. “Now. Just get it all out now.”
“When he fed from me, he did other things. He was into pain and he liked hurting me while he touched me, or while he—” She swallowed hard. “He, he, ra—” Zara heard something crash against the wall. She jerked around to see Wadim picking up another chair and throwing it into the wall on the opposite side of the room.“You don’t have to say it,” Wadim growled.
She waited quietly until she heard him in her mind.
“Mate, touch.”
Her eyes widened.
“Your touch is the only thing that can control my wolf,” he explained through clenched teeth.
She hesitantly walked over to him. As soon as she was within arm’s length, he snatched her around the waist and crushed her to his body.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“Wadim, that’s not all of it.”
He froze but didn’t release her. “Tell me.”
“My body,” she paused and took a breath. “He liked torture. He liked knives. There’s not an inch of my skin that doesn’t bear a scar—a cut, a burn, a gouge. I’m not exaggerating.” Zara decided to utilize the bond and go for broke. She’d just show him so he’d fully understand why he would be disgusted with her. She pictured her body in her mind. She didn’t hide anything, though it humiliated her. She’d rather he know now than find out the first time they were intimate.
She showed him the cuts that covered her legs, front and back. Then she showed him her back where the vampire had, day after day, year after year, run his claws repeatedly over her skin, reopening scars and making fresh ones. They were big and rough and ugly. There were bite marks everywhere in between the cuts.
Her heart was beating painfully when she let her mind focus on her chest. Both breasts were covered in raised scars from cuts and bites. There wasn’t a smooth section on them. And the worst part, the part that sickened her— She squeezed her eyes closed as she remembered when Ander—that was the scum who’d ruined her—had taken away any ounce of dignity she might have had left.
“No man will ever want you now. Your body will forever belong to me,” he said as she cried not only from the pain, but from the grief of losing a part of her. Ander had rendered her breasts useless by taking away the very thing that would have allowed her to one day nurse her children. He’d deformed her for the rest of her life. He had taken a part of her femininity, and with it any self-esteem she might have had. He’d stripped her of any beauty that she might have had. Ander had wanted to ruin her for anyone else and he’d succeeded.
She pushed the images away and laid her head against his chest, suddenly exhausted. It was then that she realized he was shaking. She pulled back as much as he would let her and looked up at his handsome face. His eyes were closed and tears were running down his cheeks. He looked angry but broken at the same time.
“Wadim,” she said gently.
“Don’t,” he growled.
She felt her heart break. He didn’t want her. He sounded disgusted.
“Don’t comfort me,” he began again, his voice a little softer. “I didn’t protect you. I wasn’t there. I didn’t even get the chance to kill him.”
Wadim was sick, but not because he was in any way disgusted by his mate. In his eyes, she was beautiful. She was perfect and she was his. He was sick because she’d gone through that ordeal. She’d been hurt at the hands of another male and he had been unable to save her.
“How could you think I would be disgusted?” he asked as he tried to gain control so that he could talk to her. She needed him to be there for her in that moment, and he would do just that. It was critical. She was vulnerable and he knew that she felt worthless. But what she saw as disgusting, he saw as only beautiful. “Zara, baby, you’re perfect. You’re beautiful. Every part of you. The fact that you had the strength to tell me, to show me your biggest pain and your biggest fears, is incredible. You are incredible.”
Tears streamed down her face as she stared up at him in disbelief. He fell to his knees and pressed his face into her tender stomach. His hand grasped her hips, though he tried to make sure he didn’t hurt her. “How can I make you believe me?” He was frantic to get her to understand how he felt about her.
“Give me time,” she said softly.
He pressed his face closer to her and then pushed the edge of her shirt up. She tensed, but she didn’t push him away or try to cover herself.
There were one-inch scars all over her stomach and bite mark scars accompanied nearly every cut. His wolf surged forward and took over before Wadim could gain control. His wolf was whining softly as he kissed each scar. He wanted to replace every painful cut and every painful bite with pleasure. He wanted her to feel attractive and desired. He wanted to kiss more of her, but with so much emotion and pain, he knew from this point forward they should take it slow. They’d dove right in, of that, there was no doubt. But now that she’d gotten her fears out in the open, he could take his time showing her every day how precious she was to him.
Wadim pulled her shirt down and stood up. He cupped her face in his hands and brushed away the tears on her cheeks. “My lovely, brave, Zara,” he breathed out in awe. “I’m going to kiss you.”
She nodded; her eyes—so big and expressive—stared back at him expectantly.
Wadim wasted no time. He leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and pressed his lips to hers. Her lips felt perfect against his. If he could, he would stand there and kiss her for the rest of their lives.
“Open your mouth,” he said, speaking through their bond,
She complied and gasped as his tongue swept past her lips and into her warmth. She tasted like heaven and felt just as good. She was trembling as he held her and he pulled her closer, wanting her to feel safe.
When he felt she’d been thoroughly ravished, he pulled back and looked down at her swollen lips. He smiled at her. “You’re too tempting.”
She laughed. “If you say so.”
“I do,” he said seriously. “You tempt me almost beyond what I can control.” He let her feel him through their bond and her breathing sped up. “However long it takes, Z, I will prove to you how much you mean to me and just how much both me and my wolf want you. And I mean want in a multiple of ways.” He winked at her and wanted to howl with victory at the smile she gave him.
“Okay, history boy.”
He groaned.
“What?” she asked, her expression blank.
“Did Peri call me that in front of you?”
She shook her head. “I just thought it fit.”
“Pick a different one, like stud muffin, or sexy beast.”Zara laughed. It was the best sound ever. “Fine, I won’t call you history boy.”
He stepped closer and wrapped his arms snugly around her. Wadim leaned down until his lips were barely touching hers. “You could just call me yours.”
She licked her lips, driving him crazy. And then nodded “Okay, I’ll call you mine.”
His wolf growled triumphantly as a he took her lips again. He wanted his scent all over her. He wanted everyone to know that she belonged to him.
Wadim knew it was a small victory and that they had a long road ahead of them. But he wouldn’t leave her side through any of it. He swore to the Great Luna that his mate would never, ever, wonder how he felt about her. She would never wonder if he desired her because he was happy to leave the bond wide open for her to feel all of it.
He ran his fingers through her hair as he claimed her lips as his again. She stole his breath when he suddenly felt her joy. She was pushing it through the bond to him. It was pure and honest and he’d been the one to cause it.
He pushed his own emotions to her and felt her body respond. Wadim swung her up into his arms and loved the little surprised squeal she emitted. He sat down in one of the chairs he hadn’t destroyed and put her in his lap. Then he turned her face to him again, continuing that kiss he never wanted to end. He needed to hold her, needed her to touch him, and needed to touch her in return. Everything else could wait. She would have his undivided attention. This time, and anytime she’d allow him, was for her.
Chapter 21
“How is it that time can fly by and drag on at the same time? Time is flying as we build our friendship with Sally, hopefully spurring a slow return of her memories. But at the same time, it drags on for Costin as he suffers without his mate. I just want them back together. I want my pack whole again. I want the bastard who hurt them to pay. Time is dragging for those things to happen too. Stupid time.” ~Jen
Peri sat at the park bench table that had become their spot. Two and a half months had passed since that very first outing with Sally, and still her memories refused to break through. She was still having the headaches and they were more frequent, but Sally had no idea that Peri, Jen, and Jacque were anything other than the sisters they claimed to be.
Sally was still seeing Jericho, which pissed Jen off to no end—well, pissed all of them off really. Sally had mentioned several times that she wanted to break it off with him, but she didn’t know how. She didn’t want to hurt him. Sally was still a bleeding heart, even with her memory cloaked.