She continued forward, having gathered herself from the shock of Peri’s appearance. “Where is Rachel?”
“She needed to sleep. She’s useless to me if she can’t stay on her feet,” Peri answered. Her voice was scratchy, as though she’d lost it screaming.
The Alpha nodded. She slipped her shoes off and stepped into the shallow water that had been infused with the powerful healer’s healing magic and felt it tingle against her bare feet. She walked up to Jacque first and leaned down pressing a kiss to her cheek. The girl’s skin was cold and Alina felt as if an icy hand was gripping her insides, spreading a chill throughout her body.
The Alpha stood, shaking, and walked over to her son. Alina closed her eyes, holding her head up and swallowing painfully. She didn’t want to look down. She didn’t want to see the child she’d brought into this world, the boy she’d raised for nineteen years—her only son—reduced to a corpse. Her breath sped up and she had to take several deep breaths to gather her composure. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked down.
His eyes were closed as though sleeping. But, instead of appearing peaceful, his face was contorted, frozen in some state of unknown pain. She reached out a shaking hand and cupped his chin. Like his mate’s, Fane’s skin was ice cold. Feeling this was the Alpha’s breaking point. She fell to her knees, heedless of the water soaking her clothes. Alina gripped his shirt in both her hands, balling the fabric tightly. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to hold him to this realm or if she was trying to hold herself together. Her eyes scanned over his face, remembering the first time she’d ever held him as a baby. She’d run her fingertips over every inch of his tiny face. She’d been in awe of something so perfect, so special, being given to her to care for. Her hands had shaken then too, so many years ago. Her heart had sped up as he opened his bright blue eyes and stared up at her in wonder. For that moment in time, she was his whole world. There was no one else in the world that was as important to her as him, nor anyone as important to him as her. He’d listened to her voice for nine months. He’d smelled nothing but her scent for nine months. She was his safe place and it was all there in his little eyes as he looked to her to protect him, feed him, and love him. And she had, as long as she’d been able, until he’d grown into a man and left her protection.
She could hold him in her arms just as she did the day he was born, but she was no longer his world. Now there were others he loved, and there were dangers beyond her control. Now he was the protector, the provider, and the parent.
Those facts did not make it acceptable to see her son lying lifeless beside his true mate. She was his mother. She was the one who was to die first. Parents should never have to bury their child and she knew it would destroy Vasile if that was what it came to.
She pulled herself closer to him until she was right in front of his face and bore her gaze into him. Her words came out in her native tongue, as if they would have more effect than being spoken in their second language. “We have taught you to fight since you were a boy. We have instilled in you the need to persevere even when the situation seems impossible. We have given you all the tools you needed to be the man you are. You cannot stop now. I won’t allow it! Fane Lupei, you will return to this life. Wherever your soul has drifted, you had better pull it back into your body and open your eyes to the world where you are needed. Your mate needs you, your son, oh god, Fane your son—” Her voice broke as she swallowed down the tears. “He’s beautiful, blue eyes like yours and auburn hair like Jacque’s—perfect in every way. And he needs you—you, Fane—not me, not Lilly, not Vasile. We are just petty substitutes. He needs his parents. You need to fight! I will not say goodbye to my only son. So fight, dammit!” She slammed a fist onto his chest as she finally let go of the tears.
She heard another sob that wasn’t her own and her eyes were drawn up to the fae she’d forgotten was there. Tears streamed down Peri’s face as she stared back at Alina. “I’m trying,” she choked out. Her lips trembled as she sank down on one knee. Her hands remained on Jacque and Fane’s foreheads, but her head fell forward and her shoulders shook with sorrow.
“I know you are,” Alina told her as she pushed her fear, pain, and anger back down. She called on her wolf to give her strength and clarity of mind so that she wouldn’t be led by her emotions, especially since her emotions were a raging typhoon right now. She needed to be strong. “You are doing something that I never could. Thank you. Truly, Perizada, thank you.” She stood, caressing her son’s face one last time before she stepped away. Alina walked over to Peri and pulled the fae back to her feet. “The high fae only bow to one, and I am not her. It is I who should be bowing to you. I know what you’re doing and I’m selfish enough to ask you to hold on a little longer.”
Peri’s eyes widened. “As if I’d stop, even if you ordered me to. No one dies on my watch—not if I can do something about it.”
“How long can you do this?” Alina motioned to her hands.
“I have a lot of immortality to give,” she said with a familiar smirk that helped Alina gain even more control.
“Wadim is doing research—”
“That’s surprising,” Peri interrupted, sniffing back her own tears. “He is the pack historian and record keeper, after all.”
Alina’s lips lifted slightly. If Peri could still be contrary, then there was hope, at least that’s what Alina was going to choose to believe.
“What’s the furry goober researching?” Peri asked.“Rachel mentioned something to Gavril when he was here earlier.”
Peri frowned. “They never spoke.”
Alina tapped her forehead.
The high fae rolled her eyes. “Sorry, dumb blonde moment. Don’t tell Jen.”
“Rachel mentioned to Gavril a feeling she had when she was in their minds. She said that their spirits seemed to be lost, trapped in limbo somehow, unable to find their way back to this world, no matter how hard their owners might be fighting to bring them back. Gavril told Wadim to check our records and see if he could find a record of any other healers ever encountering this.”
Peri’s head tilted slightly. “Lost,” she said, almost to herself. “Neither of them is willing to leave this life. That’s why they’re lost.” She let out a laugh that was filled with so much relief Alina wanted to grab onto it and feel it too. “Jacque was fighting to bring her son into this life while her own slipped away. Fane was fighting for Jacque and his son. He pulled on the pack bond for strength. He used his connection to Vasile, his connection as an Alpha. Though I don’t know if he was even conscious that he was doing it, he was just so desperate to keep them alive. With all of the power coursing through them from me, Sally, then Rachel, the pack bond, and their own wills…it’s like they forced their souls not to leave this realm, pinned them here, even though they should have long since departed.”
“But they aren’t really in this realm,” Alina pointed out.
“No…but they are where we can get to them. Had their souls already gone on, they would have been beyond our reach and my magic would not be working. I can’t believe Rachel figured that out before me.”
“It’s not like you’re a little stressed or tired or anything,” Alina said dryly. She looked back at her son and felt the little hope Peri had just given diminish. He looked so lifeless. “So you think they can be saved?” Her eyes met the high fae’s once again.
Peri’s eyes narrowed and latched onto her like a hawk after its prey. “I will die before I let them escape this realm. They may not be my children, or even my species, but they are a part of who I am, of who I’ve become. I will hold on until we figure out how to bring them back. You have my word, Alpha.” Peri bowed her head to Alina, a rare form of respect given by a more powerful being to one not her equal.
Nissa was pretty sure that being a high fae had, up until this point, never been so messy. She stood next to Jeff Stone, the Alpha of the Coldspring pack, staring at the four people they’d rescued from the most recent raid against the vampires. Two were under the age of ten, and the other two were either teenagers or in their early twenties. All of them looked as though they’d been dragged through the mud then dipped in sewage and then trampled by the manure covered feet of a thousand pissed off pixies. In other words, they looked really, really, bad. Their eyes were sunk in from weight loss and their cheeks protruded sharply from their faces. Nissa wasn’t exactly the nurturing type, but it ticked her off to see children abused. She was glad they’d thoroughly decimated the coven that had held the children captive.
“So what now?” Jeff asked her.
“Now I see if they have family that they can return to. I’ll have to alter their memories. The things that have happened to them shouldn’t have happened and I don’t want it to haunt them for the rest of their lives. And they don’t need to know about the supernatural world, at least not right now anyway.
“Two of them are dormants,” he pointed out.