The Buchanan's Baby(19)

They sat and ate their lunch, laughing at Aubrey and sharing what looked like an idyllic afternoon together but Nolan knew the questions swirling in his mind were likely as stark as the questions swirling in Shannon's mind. They had a lot to work out and there were no easy solutions.

Shannon was right; their values were not remotely the same. How could they raise a child somewhere in the middle? He knew it wasn't possible. So either he had to change or Shannon had to change. And given the fact that he didn't have a solid argument as to why Shannon should change, he knew that the change fell on his shoulders. Could he be the man Shannon needed him to be in order to be a good father to Aubrey? He honestly didn't know. And it scared him to think that he could lose Aubrey because of his past.

"I want the paternity done right away," he said abruptly. "I don’t see any point in waiting. I want to get it over with so that I can get her name changed immediately."

"I told you I don't want to change her name," Shannon reminded him with a scowl. "Her name is Aubrey Garrity and it's staying that way."

"She's a Buchanan and she’ll have the Buchanan name. Besides, whether you like it or not, there are legalities to inheritance. She has to carry my name if she's going to be named my heir."

"I don't need her to be your heir. You can be her father and have different last names."

"I'm not going to argue with you. In this, you will lose so don't waste your energy," he said curtly. "You’ve kept my daughter from me and I've missed out on so much. There are some things that I will not compromise." He was being an ass, he could tell by the wounded expression on her face but he couldn't help himself. He was angry and not only with Shannon. He was angry with himself for taking the easy way his entire life. Unlike his brother Dillon who walked away from the family fortune and went and made something of himself on his own, both Nolan and Vince had taken the path of least resistance, which hadn’t done much to build their character. He wanted better for his daughter but he didn’t know the first thing about providing a good example for her.

"Why are you picking a fight with me?" she asked. "We don’t have to be on opposite sides."

"Don't we?" He looked away. "You put me on the opposite side when you failed to tell me I had fathered a child. I'm not trying to be the bad guy but you've already put me in the role."

Her lip trembled and she looked away. "I was protecting Aubrey."

“It's my turn to think about Aubrey's welfare, too. And I feel it's in her best interest to carry my name."

"Well, I disagree."

Nolan could tell Shannon would continue to stay on the opposite side of the argument and he decided for Aubrey’s sake he would let the lawyers fight it out. Shannon had to know that she was going to lose. When the paternity revealed that he was the father, his rights would go into effect. There was no sense in beating her over the head with the point.

He’d ruined the afternoon but there was no escaping the fact that he was pent up with an unnamable energy. He was angry, shamed, but worse, he was lost. When Shannon started packing up the picnic he didn't stop her. An apology danced on his tongue but he knew it would fall on deaf ears and didn’t bother.

The silent car ride back to her apartment was the most uncomfortable ride of his life.

"I'll be in touch," he promised.

"Yeah, I know," she said, glancing away with obvious displeasure. She looked as if she’d rather drink bleach than see him again. Hell, he’d made a mess of things.

He watched as Shannon and Aubrey disappeared in the apartment without saying goodbye. He supposed he deserved that. Since he was terrible company at the moment, he didn't pursue them.

He needed to talk to someone but whom could he trust with something so personal? Vince offered terrible counsel and Dillon was busy with his own impending fatherhood.

One person stood out in his mind but he was reluctant to go down that road for fear of what she’d say. But even as he feared this person’s honesty, he trusted her intuition unlike anyone else.

"Penny?" he asked when she answered the line. Her relieved sigh on the other told him volumes.

"It's about time you called. I thought I was going to give birth before you came to your senses. Now fill me in with the details; I want to know everything."

By the time he’d finished, he felt emotionally drained.

“Nolan, don’t you see what the answer is?” Penny asked.

“If I knew the answer I wouldn’t be tied up in knots,” he grumbled. Wasn’t that obvious? “I know what the easy answer is but I can’t do that.”