She wasn't lying, per se. But she knew that the time had come for her to buy a new car. Lately, her trusty little sedan had been making frightening noises that sounded like something crucial was about to abandon ship. Please don't break down, not today, she prayed.
"So where are you staying?" she asked, making conversation as she drove in the hopes of diverting the conversation away from the obvious shortcomings of her vehicle.
"At the Fairmont," he answered, his brow still furrowed in thought as he watched the scenery go by.
"Of course, a five-star hotel. When you can afford the very best why go with economy, right?"
"I didn’t make the travel arrangements, my secretary did. But, yes, I usually stay in the nicest hotels. They have better shampoo," he added with a wink that made her stomach muscles jump. "Honestly, I don't care where I stay as long as the bed is comfortable. I don't usually spend all that much time in the hotel anyway."
"It seems silly to spend all that money on a room that you're just going to sleep in," Shannon said. "Personally, I like to spend as little as possible on the hotel rooms so I have the money to spend on activities when I go on vacation."
"Where have you gone on vacation?" he asked.
"Well, nowhere lately but I have been to Oregon and Washington and someday I hope to go to Canada."
"What's in Canada?" he asked, interested.
Should she tell him her goals of landing a bigger hockey gig? It seemed premature to start sharing such personal details but she also knew that her plans would become evident eventually anyway if he remained in her life. She took a deep breath and answered, "Well, they have a major hockey network there. And if I can't get into the NHL, Calgary has a hockey team that's pretty respectable."
"So moving is part of your plan eventually?" he asked.
"Yes," she admitted. "I can't make a living at the minor leagues. I mean, I do okay but I'll want to do better than okay. I want to be able to support Aubrey on my own without having to worry about someone else paying my way."
"If you need money I can give you some."
"I don't want your money. Don't you think if I'd wanted your money I would've called you the minute I found out I was pregnant?" She pointed out. "I accepted the role of single mother and I've been doing just fine on my own. But in order to teach Aubrey how to be self-sufficient I have to be self-sufficient. And that means not accepting a handout from you."
"It's not a handout," he said, frowning. "If I'm her father I will gladly pay child support."
"We have all that we need.”
"What if I don't agree? My daughter deserves the best not just what paltry, bottom of the barrel existence you can give her."
Immediately offended, Shannon was tempted to stomp on the brakes and kick him out of her car. "Are we going to fight all day or we are we going to try to have a nice day together because it's not starting off well," she warned him. "I haven't decided whether or not you are a good influence on Aubrey and throwing money at her is not going to prove to me that you’re a good father."
"And forcing her to live in poverty because of your pride isn’t a sign that you are being a good mother," he pointed out equally irritated. "And I wouldn't just throw money at her. But I would like her to have nice things. Is that so bad?"
She bit her lip, realizing that he'd made a fair point. She agonized when she couldn't buy the things that Aubrey needed and had to scrimp and save for the simplest things, like extra diapers and new clothes. Having Nolan around to smooth the rough spots would certainly be an asset. No! Don't even go there. She was doing just fine on her own; she didn't need Nolan to save her or Aubrey. "Let’s just have a nice day, okay?"
"Fine." But judging by the way his lip compressed to a tight line, he wasn’t finished with the conversation and it would likely come up again. “So tell me about this park we’re going to," he said after a lengthy pause that nearly set her nerves on edge.
"When I was pregnant I liked to come here because it was quiet and not too many people use it but it has really pretty trees and a beautiful view as well as a play park for the kids. It's just become my favorite place and Aubrey's too so I thought you might enjoy it, too."
"Absolutely."
Just as she said, the park was relatively quiet without a lot of traffic and as Nolan spread the blanket to unpack the picnic basket she let Aubry toddle off to pick dandelions in the grass. She peered quietly at Nolan as he prepared their picnic and she wondered why he was trying so hard. Why couldn't he have been the deadbeat that she thought he was? It would've made everything easier by half. But he seemed to really want to be a part of Aubrey’s life and she was having a hard time holding on to the reasoning for excluding him. "Are you seeing anyone?" she asked, telling herself the information was important to know for Aubrey's sake but in truth, she was curious for her own reasons.