The Buchanan's Baby(12)

“I didn’t want you to know,” she said. “I had enough to deal with, I didn’t need another problem to solve. I’d just gotten my job with the Juggernaut when I realized I was pregnant and I didn’t want to deal with everything that came with custody battles and whatnot. Besides, I really didn’t see you as the type who was interested in settling down.”

Accurate assessment, he realized but it pinched that she hadn’t wanted him in the baby’s life at all. “You didn’t even give me a chance,” he pointed out quietly. “I might’ve wanted to be a part of her life from the start.”

“I’m sorry. Your feelings were the last thing on my mind,” she admitted with a shrug. “I had an infant to care for and a career to protect. Can you say that you would’ve settled down if you’d known?”

“No.”

“Well, thank you for your honesty but you prove my point. Raising a child isn’t something you do on a whim because you think it might be fun. It’s hard work. She had colic for the first three months of her life and she screamed bloody murder for no discernible reason. Nothing I did worked. All I could do was hold her while she screamed. It was awful.”

He shuddered at the thought of a screaming infant but then he felt guilty for not being there. He should have that experience under his belt if it’d happened to his child. “It’s true I didn’t ask for this but now that I know about her, I can’t walk away. Give me a chance to show you that I’m not a bad guy. I can be a good father.”

“I can’t let you audition for the role of Aubrey’s father, no matter how good your intentions. Aubrey is my life. She’s everything I never realized I wanted until I saw her little face. I can’t take the chance that you’ll change your mind when things get tough.” He was perplexed until she added, “When I found out I was pregnant, I knew it was yours because I hadn’t been with anyone else since. So I did a little checking around. It wasn’t hard to dig up some unflattering stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Are you sure you want to know?” At his determined nod, she continued, “You’re a player who likes to party all the time and you’ve left a string of broken hearts in your wake, as well as someone who killed herself off the roof of your building. I can’t expose my daughter to that life. You have to understand, I want a traditional upbringing for my daughter and you simply can’t provide that with your background and your lifestyle.”

At the mention of Isabel, Nolan felt a wave of shame. Shannon didn’t know the half of what’d happened with Isabel and he’d prefer to keep it that way. “I wouldn’t bring Aubrey to the club. What do you take me for?” he asked, a bit more sharply than he intended. He drew a deep breath and tried again. “I’m just saying, I would not take Aubrey anywhere that wasn’t appropriate for a child and I’m a bit offended that you would imply that I would.”

She bit her lip and nodded. That one small gesture sparked a memory that he immediately pushed away. He didn’t need to remember how sexy she’d been or how she’d become even sexier since he’d seen her last. He fought to keep his gaze focused when he was overwhelmed by the urge to allow his gaze to drift to her belly, intensely curious — and strangely aroused — by the idea that she’d carried his child. Shaking himself free of the dangerous thoughts flitting through his brain like drunken fireflies, he retrained his attention to the issue at hand.

“I was scared,” she admitted at last.

Ah, fear, he could understand and fix. “I’m really not a bad guy,” he said, the corner of his mouth twisting in his signature half-smile that never failed to win him points. “Give me a chance to prove it.”

“And how do you propose I do that?”

“Let me show you that I can be a good father. Give me a few weeks to get to know Aubrey and you can take those weeks to get to know me. Seem like a fair deal?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Life is filled with choices, love.” She stilled at his use of the endearment and he knew she was remembering their night together. He clenched his teeth behind his lips, trying to quell the arousal that flushed through his veins. He remembered quite vividly how she’d sounded when she came, shattering in his arms until she could barely move a muscle. He’d been equally as spent. He shook himself free of the memory and stood quickly. “Text me so I’ll have your number. Are you free this weekend? We can take Aubrey to the park.”