“Looks like Daniel’s keeping his men with the rest of the refugees as they head southwest,” Darius said, sitting across the fire from him. “We’ll be going after Cyric alone. Well, not alone of course, but not exactly in friendly company. We’ll have a nice army of mercenaries, priests, and paladins marching with us.”
“And Kaide.”
“Aye, him too. But him at least I’m not worried about killing me in my sleep.”
Jerico grunted at the word.
“Speaking of which,” he muttered.
Darius stood.
“Not quite ready to turn in,” he said, “so I’ll leave you be.”
“Much appreciated.”
Jerico listened to the gradually retreating footsteps of the paladin, and then, bathed only in the sound of the crackling fire, he tried to sleep. He could not. With a sigh, he gave up and pushed himself to his feet. All around were a hundred campfires, but he knew he wouldn’t find who he needed at them. Beyond the camps he walked, to the far west where a group of four sat around their own secret fire.
“Welcome, Jerico,” said Bellok as the paladin joined their camp.
“You look like shit,” said Adam. “Well, you always do, really. But shittier than normal.”
Jerico smiled, but was too exhausted for it to remain on his face. He looked to Kaide, who so far had kept his eyes on the fire instead of his newly arrived guest.
“A moment,” Jerico said.
The other three waited, and after a nod from their leader, they stood and departed for the greater camp. Jerico felt his heart skip as he tried to think of what to say. Honestly, he didn’t have a clue. But he knew what was bothering him, and he had to try something.
“Kaide…”
“I know what it is you want to say,” the brigand said, interrupting him. “And I have heard it all before. From you, actually. So save your breathe, return to your campfire, and get some sleep. Gods know you need it.”
“You would dismiss me so easily?”
“Would you prefer I make you leave the hard way?”
Jerico grinned at him.
“Are you so certain you could?”
Kaide gave him a look, then shook his head.
“You’re a stubborn one, I’ll give you that. It’d be easier to move mountains. More pleasant to talk to as well.”
Jerico took a seat next to him, and he thought of what to say. Strange how the greater the weight on his heart, the harder the words came. It was as if he feared he might fail at the very first word spoken.
“Luther deserves death,” he said at last. “He’s hardly the first, and he won’t be the last. But you shouldn’t be the one to kill him.”
“Fearing for my eternal soul, paladin?”
“I fear for a man I once considered a friend. Revenge is wrong. You have to know this.”
“Do you?” asked Kaide, glaring across the fire. “Strange coming from a man whose mace has taken more lives than my blades.”
“I kill in defense,” Jerico insisted. “I kill to save others, to preserve innocence. Should I strive for vengeance, then I’ve lost my way.”
“Then what of when he attacked Sandra? Would it have been right to kill him then? Why then but not now? Why is it right for your hands to be covered with blood but not mine? Nothing else matters if the end is the same.”
“I would kill to protect, to keep others alive. I fight for life, but what of you? You would kill because of vengeance, because of hatred, because…”
“Because I want her to live! Is that so hard to understand? If only I could perform the miracles your hands can, but I can’t. We both kill for life. It’s just mine’s coming way too damn late.”
Jerico’s fingers dug into the dirt as he struggled for the words.
“No,” he said. “I don’t believe that. I don’t believe you. I’m begging you, Kaide. I loved her, I still do. I would give anything to have acted faster, to have pulled her behind my shield. In my dreams, I sometimes do, but even then my shield breaks, and the spell hits, and I can’t do anything. I can only watch. I can…” He took a deep breath. “Kaide, you’re so close, so very close. You’re a good man, a great man. And one step farther, you’ll fall off a cliff, and all of Dezrel will see just how far down you go. Don’t honor Sandra by becoming a man she’d hate. Be the brother she loved, that she still loves.”
“Don’t you dare,” Kaide said even as tears filled his eyes. “Don’t you feed me this shit. I won’t hear of clouds and angels and loved ones watching over us. You’re wrong.”
“And if I’m not? As she looks down and watches, who does she see? Who do you want to be, Kaide? Please, let it go, let it out. I’ll shoulder the burden if I must, but don’t let it consume you like this. I see the death in your eyes, the rage in your fists. You can stop it. You still can.”