The Broken Land(63)
The fish had started to drip fat into the flames; it sizzled and spat. The delicious scent of roasting trout rose. Sky Messenger slowly lowered himself to sit cross-legged on the ground. “If you know her name, you must know many things about her. What else have you heard?”
She made an airy gesture with her hand. “I know she is an enemy warrior from the Flint People. You’re always comparing me to her, aren’t you? She’s supposed to be a great warrior. I’ll bet she walked with the silence of a wolf. I’ll bet she never spoke too loudly, or used her paddle improperly on the river, or—”
“No, she didn’t. You’re right,” he said bluntly. “She was perfect in every way. She …” His face changed suddenly, softening, as though a memory had just caught him off guard. He shook his head as though angry with himself. “Taya, she is out of my life forever. I’ll never see her again. You are going to be my wife. Why does it matter?”
Gitchi rose and trotted over to flop down beside Sky Messenger. As he propped his gray muzzle on his paws, his gaze went back and forth between them. The wolf seemed to have a preternatural ability to know the worst possible moment to intrude upon their conversations. Though, it occurred to her, Sky Messenger must think they were the best possible moments. When he reached over to scratch Gitchi’s head, it gave him the opportunity to change the subject.
“I know you’re frightened and don’t wish to be here, Taya. There’s a Dawnland village not far from here, a safe place. I know the village Healer, and the deputy war chief, Auma. Would you like me to take you there while I continue on? You’ll be warm and well fed. I’ll return for you as soon as I’m done.”
Like a fish out of water, her mouth opened, then closed, struggling for breath. “The Dawnland People are our enemies! I don’t want to go to any of their villages? Are you mad?”
His mouth quirked. “As far as I can tell? Almost certainly.”
“That is not amusing.”
She had seriously considered the possibility that his afterlife soul was out wandering the forest. He lurched upright in their bedding almost every night and stared out at the darkness as though he was searching for something, or someone, maybe even counting the eyes of the evil Spirits that had them surrounded. The prospect that he was mad? Not amusing in the slightest.
“I know what your clan says about me, Taya. They call me a fool. Try to understand, only a mad fool would accept the path I am on. I—”
“Then why don’t you give it up?”
“Because madness is what is required.” He spread his arms. “Look around you. What sane man would believe peace is possible?”
Sensing an opening, she leaned toward him and pressed her lips to his. Startled, he just sat there for a few instants; then he kissed her back, but there was no emotion in it. She might have been kissing a brother.
When she leaned away, she looked up at him somberly. “Why don’t you ever hold me? Do you hate me so much?”
His smile faded. He heaved what sounded like an exasperated sigh and wrapped his arms around her. She propped her chin on his shoulder and watched the snow fall across the river. He held her like that until the skin on the fish started to peel and brown.
Finally, he pulled away. “Let’s eat. You’ll feel better.”
He rose and walked around the fire. As he slid two fish from their sticks and into her bowl, Gitchi wagged his tail and licked his lips in anticipation. Sky Messenger handed Taya’s bowl to her.
She took it and immediately pulled off small strips of white flesh and ate it. It stayed down.
Sky Messenger filled his bowl and set it aside. Then he removed the skewers from the last two fish and rolled them in the snow to cool them before calling, “Gitchi, come on.”
The old wolf got up, shook off his coat, and trotted forward wagging his tail. He grabbed one of the fish and chewed it up. The second, he swallowed whole, though it took three tries to gulp it down.
Sky Messenger picked up his bowl and returned to sit beside Taya.
The phrases mad fool and madness is what is required kept circling around in her thoughts. The more she thought about them, the more ridiculous they sounded. “Can’t you at least try to be sane?”
His hand, holding a piece of fish, stopped halfway to his mouth. He turned to look at her. His high cheekbones and slender nose caught snowflakes that melted and ran down his face like tears. “No.”
Annoyed, she looked away. Across the fire, Gitchi’s yellow eyes were fixed upon her, as though watching to see if, at last, she understood.
Taya said, “I hate that wolf. He always looks at me like I’m the one who’s the fool.”