“Greetings, my daughter, may all the blessings of the light be on you,” Gavin said.
The woman made no reply, merely stared at Gavin.
Gavin moved forward, taking the seat in front of the kneeling woman. “I’ve come to shrive you.”
No reply. Usually the luxiat who spoke to Gavin between rooms was supposed to tell him if there were any special circumstances—a mute, or a drafter who might be violent, whatever. The luxiats had said nothing other than the woman’s name.
“Do you have a confession, Vell Parsham?” Gavin asked uncomfortably.
“This,” the woman said. “This is wrong. This is not what Orholam wills. This is a travesty. This screams to me of men and women holding on to power by their fingertips, by making someone else pay.”
“It’s normal to be afraid,” Gavin said.
“I’m not afraid for my life. I fear for your soul, High Lord Prism. Orholam forgive you, for what you do this night is murder.” She pulled the low collar of her blouse aside to give Gavin a straight shot at her heart. “End me now, Lord Prism, but someday, may you end it all or be ended. Know that Orholam is just, and tremble.”
Gavin stood and wet his lips. So dry. He blinked, approaching in a daze. “Bless you, my daughter.”
He looked the woman in the eye as he stabbed her in the heart. Held those un-angry eyes until the light went out of them. Then he pulled the bell string incorporated into the kneeler. Two luxiats entered and caught the kneeling body before it could fall. The side door opened.
“Perfect time, High Lord Prism. There will be water and figs after the next room. Name’s Delilah Tae, a sub-red.”
And then he was in the next room.
The woman at the kneeler couldn’t have been more than twenty-five years old. She’d been weeping.
“My daughter, may the blessings of the light be upon you.”
She dissolved.
Gavin took his seat. “I’ve come to shrive you, daughter, that you may walk clean and pure and unashamed in the light.”
“I have a daughter, High Lord Prism. She’s three. Please tell me I’m not doing wrong by leaving her. I can’t control the sub-red much longer, though. I know it. I—I shouldn’t have used so much during the war. I should have been smarter.”
“What’s your daughter’s name?”
“Essel.”
“Essel will be taken care of, Delilah Tae. I’ll see to it personally.”
“We don’t have any family, not since the war. I grew up next to one of the homes for orphans. Some of the luxiats have good intentions, but … tell me she’ll not go there, High Lord, please. I don’t deserve to ask anything of you, but—”
“I’ll take care of her. I promise.”
The bell rang to let Gavin know he’d spent too long.
She gulped nervously. “I’ve got more to say. I’m so sorry, I know you’ve got others waiting.”
“I’m here. I’m with you. Tell me what you have to say,” Gavin said.
“It was my idea. Garriston. My husband was a red. He and I used to do a trick where he’d shoot a stream into the air and I’d ignite it. We showed our commander, and he took the idea up like it was his … but it was mine. Pollos told me not to tell them about it, that it would be used for ill, but I did it. All those people. The whole city burning. They said eighty thousand died in that city alone.”
She dissolved then, incapable of speech. That wasn’t your fault, Gavin wanted to say. It was mine. My brother’s. We commanded such things. We knew. We knew, and we left the burden on people like you.
The bell rang again, more insistently.
In silent fury, Gavin reached out with blue luxin and ripped the bell off the wall.
He knelt across from Delilah and took her hands in his. “Lord of Light, Orholam, God, see your humble servant. We pray you search us and know us. We pray your healing light would purify us of sins of commission and omission. In the fire of war, we have done unspeakable things. The luxiats may say our commanders bear the weight of those crimes, but Orholam, Father, we feel that weight on our souls. We repent of our rage and our recklessness, of duties undone. Forgive your daughter, Orholam, take her guilt and shame, and let her walk with you, forever.”
Gavin made his countenance glow softly as he spoke, superviolet and will and yellow triggering the cream’s broken crystals, so it appeared he glowed with Orholam’s light. Delilah looked up at him with big, wet eyes full of wonder, but also full of peace. He smiled at her until she shared his smile. He stabbed her heart.
And his own went icy cold.
He had kept his word to her, though. Gavin’s mother helped him find a family to raise the child. Essel was a Blackguard now.