The Boyfriend Deal(30)

A chair scraped against the floor and I watched as he took a seat next to me.

“How long have you felt that way?” he asked. “How long have you doubted my feelings for you?”

“Tyler, I…”

“No. I don’t want to hear an excuse, Hadley. I promised myself to you, promised to share a future with you, and I didn’t do it because I thought every day would be a party. I did it because I love you and want to spend time with you, whether that time is spent doing homework, having lunch at school, or going out somewhere … the point is that we’re together. I thought that was what mattered.”

Shame burned through me.

“If you weren’t with me, you’d be out having fun with your friends, Tyler. You’d be going to the basketball games, going to parties…”

“If I weren’t with you,” he said softly, “I’d be sitting at home in my room wondering what I’d done to screw it all up, causing me to lose the only girl I’ve ever loved. Do you really think so little of me that you think I want that party lifestyle more than I want to be with you?”

“I just…” I started sobbing. “I’m useless, Tyler. I can’t do anything anymore. If I can’t go to college, I won’t be able to get a good job. I don’t even know if I can get a job at all! You deserve so much better than me.”

Tyler stood and pulled me into his arms. “Hadley, you’re not useless. Do you need more help than you did before? Yes, but that doesn’t mean school is impossible. Your parents talked to the school, and they’ve offered you extra time to take tests and turn in assignments. I’m sure whatever college you decide to attend will offer you the help you need. Just because it’s become difficult, doesn’t mean it’s impossible.”

I sniffled. “You really think I can go to school?”

“I really do.”

“I won’t be able to study music, but I’d still really like to be a teacher.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “I’ve actually done a little research over the past month. What if you either became a teacher for kids with disabilities or maybe became a school counselor who helped set up programs for special needs kids? Just because your dream needs to change a little, it doesn’t mean you have to throw it away completely.”

“You really looked that up for me?”

“I did. And it just so happens, University of Florida has a program that I think would be ideal for you. Not that I’m pressuring you to choose that school, but my parents are pushing me to accept a scholarship so I can use the money saved toward living expenses.”

“I feel like I’m holding you back, Tyler.”

He kissed me softly. “You could never hold me back, Hadley. I want you with me when I go off to college, but if you feel like you need to go your own way, I’ll understand. It doesn’t mean we have to break up; it just means we won’t get to see each other every day.”

“I haven’t even applied to the schools offering you a scholarship.”

“Then I guess you’d better hurry and get your application turned in.”

I smiled. “You really want me to go with you to University of Florida?”

“I really do.”

Despite my tears and uncertainty, he still wanted me. He’d been willing to follow me so I could achieve my dream of becoming a music teacher, so why couldn’t I follow him? He was right. Just because my life had changed, it didn’t mean things were completely over for me. I would just have to work harder than I ever had before.

“Thank you, Tyler. Now … get out of here so I can go look up the application and get started.”

“Do you need any help?”

I bit my lip. “I think this is something I need to do on my own. I can’t rely on you to be there every second of every day for me. I need to learn to do some things on my own. My life changed, Tyler, but I’ve let everyone hold my hand and lead me along. Maybe … maybe I’m ready to stand on my own two feet now.”

He kissed me again, harder than before. “I’m so proud of you, Red. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said softly.

“Call me before you go to bed tonight. I can’t sleep unless I hear your voice.”

With a goofy smile on my face, I walked him to the door and waited until I heard his truck door shut. Then I closed the door and went up to my room to find the application for University of Florida. I had to zoom my monitor to read the font on the school’s site, but I eventually located the application and printed off a copy. Using my special magnifier, I filled it out, pausing at the essay portion. Why do you want to attend the University of Florida? What do you hope to achieve with your acceptance?