The Boy Who Knew Me When(65)

“She’s not here Jonathan.”

I honestly didn’t know what to do. He looked almost as worse for wear as Brea had the night before but other than the fact that he was Julian’s friend and obviously from the looks of it crazy about my best friend I hardly knew him, let alone knew how to comfort him. I barely knew how to comfort myself.

“Is she with him?” he asked sadly.

“With who?”

Jonathan looked up at me with his puppy dog eyes.

“You mean Brandon? He is two thousand miles away Jonathan, they aren’t together, she is at the library. You can wait if you want.” Jonathan shook his head and sat down on the couch head back to the floor.

“I need to finish getting ready, Julian will be here soon. Just make yourself at home, OK?”

Realizing he was not going to answer I turned and headed for my room but was stopped by the slight sound of his voice behind me. I did not actually hear what he had said so I asked him to repeat himself.

“I said how can you stand it?”

“It isn’t easy. Brandon and I have a past that is pretty well ingrained, loving Julian helps. I don’t love Brandon like I love Julian, not anymore. I am not so sure I ever loved him like that.”

Julian looked up at me with a pool of tears forming at the base of his eyes.

“But she does. I have never met him but she talks about him all the time. And now this. I feel like I know him and I hate him.”

The rage in Jonathan’s eyes burned through me. Taking a moment to reflect on what he must be going through I walked to his side and sat down. I found myself desperately wanting to reassure him but I can’t. I know Brea says that she wants Jonathan but what would she do if she knew Brandon wanted her, REALLY wanted her?

“They have been friends for a very long time Jonathan. I don’t know where she stands with him.”

“But you know where he stands with her?”

I did know. I knew because Brandon, the man I loved half of my life, shoved it down my throat earlier that morning. He told me that he wanted her and then I told him to come and get her.

“I can’t answer that, I won’t. What Brandon feels for her has nothing to do with how she feels for you and I know that she loves you.”

Jonathan’s eyes shot up and I could tell that my words offered him a tiny glimmer of hope.

“How do you know? Did she tell you?”

I could not help to smile at this grown man suddenly seeing him as child in the middle of a candy store.

“I have known her since she was nine Jonathan and yes, she told me. In all the time I have known her Brea has never told me she was falling in love with anyone. And I have never EVER seen her cry over a man for more than two seconds. She was devastated when I got home.”

“I’m sorry for that. I just left, I couldn’t think and I wanted to yell at someone so I just left. I left before I said something that I had no way of taking back.”

I looked to Jonathan with understanding.

“What should I do? Tell me what to do Jemma. I don’t want to lose her.”

Remembering my previous conversation with Brea I let out a little laugh as I pictured Jonathan throwing Brea over his shoulder and carrying her out of the apartment like a caveman.

“Throw her over your shoulder like a caveman and claim what is yours?” I joked.

He looked to me as if he were actually considering the idea.

“I don’t know, start by talking I guess. But the baby, it’s not going to just go away, she is keeping it. Brea could never abort a child, she will have it and she will love it. I will tell you that whatever you decide, Brandon will also be here to take care of that baby, no matter if he is halfway across the country. He will be here. You have to be able to live with that.”

And then I realized something that had yet to truly sink it...I had to live with it as well.

I was so thankful when Julian walked into the apartment. He walked over to Jonathan and shook his hand letting him know that he was glad to see that he was OK. He seemed to be coming around at Julian’s appearance so I excused myself to finish getting ready but before I could even put on my lipstick Julian peeked into the room.

“Uh, babe, a little uncomfortable out here. Can you come back please?”

I sighed annoyingly, what now? I left the room to see Brea standing against the front door of the apartment staring at Jonathan as if they were the last two people on earth. Jonathan was silent, still and staring at her as well. There was something ferocious in his eyes and I could see between the two of them why Julian was so uncomfortable, it was just plain weird. Even stranger when the silence was broken by the sound of Jonathan’s feet rushing towards Brea. It all happened in a matter of seconds, he grabbed hold of the back of her head pulling his lips into hers and kissing her harder than I have ever seen two people kiss in my life.