That was his reasoning for choosing to suffer twenty five years to life for a crime that he had nothing to do with.
Julian walked me into our room at the Radisson and my thoughts immediately went to Brea.
“Is Brea here?”
Julian looked at me with pity in his eyes.
“No sweetheart, she and Jonathan took the train back to Austin. They have some things they need to work out.”
I needed my friend, probably more than I have ever needed her in my entire life but in truth, she did not need me, she never had. After everything that had gone down on the beach earlier I was positive that she didn't even want me as her friend anymore.
“I’m going to take a shower.” I disappeared into the bathroom not waiting for Julian’s response. My body was so numb, I just needed to let go of it all.
I turned the shower to hot and waited for the steam to rise before stepping in fully clothed. I had no strength in me to strip myself down. I sat down in the tub under the spray, pulled my knees up into my arms and buried my face into them letting the water scald my body as I cried mercilessly into myself from the pain.
I don’t know how long I was in the tub before Julian walked in. I could tell he was talking but it sounded as if he was speaking into a glass. The words were muted and heavy, for some reason they made me laugh. Julian turned the water off and pulled my shirt and bra over my head. He grab hold of my arm and lifted me up from the tub tugging my pants down before grabbing a towel to carefully dry my skin and hair. I caught a glimpse of him as he lifted me into his arms, his face was red and his eyes were full of tears. I felt nothing. I buried my head into his neck and he carried me to bed. I felt an invisible presence pull the blanket up over my sensitive skin right before I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Seventeen
Julian
I saw what looked like smoke rising out from under the bathroom door and ran over to it praying it was not locked. When I opened it was overwhelmed by a wet fog rising out of the tub and nearly knocked off my feet by the heat.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” I yelled as I spotted Jemma in the tub.
She was fully clothed, hiding inside herself crying. Her arms and neck were blood red. I ran to the shower and immediately turned it off.
“Come on sweetheart, Oh baby, please cooperate with me.”
I grabbed hold of her shirt along with her bra and pulled them up over her head. She did not fight me but she did not exactly cooperate either. Her back was streaked with redness, luckily from where I could see she was not badly enough burned for me to call for help. I just needed to get her out of the tub and into bed so she could sleep off the madness of the day.
I wished she would talk to me but I know how much she was hurting and it was tearing me up inside. I would have given anything to take this pain from her, I would have done anything.
I pulled her up by her arms and pulled her pants from under her bare feet leaving her standing naked in front of me. For the first time, seeing her naked did nothing for me. All I wanted was to hear her voice.
“Please talk to me sweetheart. Please say something, anything. Please!” I begged with no response from her. I felt like I was talking to myself. Not pushing it any further, I dried her off and carried her to bed.
I wanted to climb in next to her but seeing her in so much pain was too much for me to handle. I actually felt a sense of relief that she instantly fell asleep, the relief was followed by guilt. How was I supposed to help her if I could not even reach her? Instead of climbing into the bed I sat in the chair next to it and watched her. For the first time in a long time I was truly afraid, I was completely unsure how to help her and even more unsure what she would do when she woke up. Perhaps she would just float away because for the brief moment our eyes had met in the shower she had seemed as empty as a balloon.
After about half an hour she rolled over and reached for my side of the bed
“Julian?” She cried out for me which sent a painful itch through my heart.
I lifted myself up out of the chair, pulled my shoes off and climbed into bed with her. Still asleep she inched closer to me, throwing one arm over my chest, burying her head into the nape of my neck. I kissed her forehead and followed her into dreamland where I could only pray she was finding even a tiny bit of peace.
I awoke sometime later to a darkened room after hearing the faintest whisper from Jemma who was running her fingers across the line of my jaw. “Julian” The way she said my name was different from the way she had before. There was something in it that spoke of lust and desire.
“Yes sweetheart.” I whispered back to her.
I could see the soft essence of her face thanks to the dim light of the moon reflecting off of the ocean outside of the balcony window, just enough light to make out the pure desperation hiding beneath the beautiful blue eyes that glowed like fireflies.