The kettle boiled; she made the tea, her back to him. 'It isn't that simple, Tom. Try to understand. I know it's hard, but try. Seeing him again made me realise I was not in love with you, and never would be. And I couldn't go ahead with the marriage when I knew it wouldn't work for us. Do you see?'
'No, I don't! You say you aren't going back to him, which I suppose means you aren't in love with him- so how did that make you realise you weren't in love with me, either?'
'Tom..' She fumbled for the right words, helpless to make it clear without hurting his feelings. 'Tom, I was in love with him four years ago. Desperately in love. I got badly hurt, but at least I knew I was doing the right thing in going away, in not breaking up his marriage. When you and I started seeing each other I thought I was over all that I'd forgotten how I felt about Randal. I didn't try to compare the way I felt about you with the way I had felt about him. I honestly believed we could be happy together.'
'I still think we could be!' Tom said eagerly, coming closer. 'If you aren't in love with him, we still have a chance, Pippa.'
She picked up the teapot and poured the tea, shaking her head. 'I'm sorry, Tom, but, no, we don't have a chance. I know now that it was wrong of me to think I could make you happy.'
He put a hand on her back, gently stroking her spine, and leaned his face against her thick chestnut hair, murmuring into it, 'How can you be so sure? Two days ago, everything was fine. Then you bump into this chap and suddenly the wedding is off and you tell me we don't have a chance. But you still haven't made it clear. If you aren't in love with him either, why can't you marry me?'
She closed her eyes, groaning. 'Because I remember how I felt about him! And when I do marry, I want to feel that way again.'
He turned her round, still holding her, and softly kissed her. 'You could learn to feel that way about me, Pippa.'
She shook her head regretfully, hating to hurt him, but knowing it was kinder in the long run. 'I'm sorry, Tom. I'm very fond of you, and I like you a lot, but I know now that I could never love you the way I loved him.'
He groaned and kissed her again, harder, with pleading. 'Pippa … I don't want to lose you. I think we could be very happy together. We have been, haven't we? I always believed we were a perfect match. Are you sure you aren't chasing some impossible star? Looking for the perfect man? What if you never find him? Are you going to spend the rest of your life alone?'
The doorbell rang sharply and they both started. The noise went on, getting louder, more peremptory.
'Is that him! It sounds like him,' Tom said angrily. 'I'll deal with this. You stay here.'
'No, Tom,' she anxiously said, trying to stop him, but he was already on his way to the front door like an advancing army, bristling with war-like intent. Pippa ran after him, caught up just as he yanked the door open and glared at Randal standing outside.
'Clear off. You're not wanted. By either of us!' Tom barked.
'Pippa can talk for herself. She doesn't need you talking for her!' Randal drawled with an infuriating look of superiority.
'She's engaged to me!'
'That doesn't make her a deaf mute! Even if you'd like her to be one!'
'How dare you?' fumed Tom.
Pippa suddenly sensed they had an audience; across the road a curtain twitched, eyes peered at them, and a woman coming down the road had halted to stare, fascinated.
Angrily, Pippa hissed. 'Come inside. People are watching!'
'Not until this fellow has left!' Tom said with a sullen glare at Randal.
'I'm not going anywhere.' Randal shrugged.
Flushed and distressed, Pippa pulled Tom back inside the cottage and Randal coolly followed, closing the front door behind him.
'Tell him to go away,' Tom urged, giving her that pleading look again, making her feel guilty and very sorry for him. 'What's he doing here, anyway? You said you were never going to see him again, so why's he here?'
Randal gave her a narrowed, dangerous look. 'Did you say that? Did he ask you to promise not to see me again? And did you agree?'
'I asked you not to come here,' she reminded him, chin lifted and green eyes angry.
'And now I see why,' he said through his teeth. 'You'd arranged to meet him here and I would have been very much de trop.'
'No! I hadn't arranged to meet him. He arrived out of the blue.'
'And talked you into going ahead with the wedding? He's got your lipstick on his mouth, so don't tell me he hasn't been kissing you!'
'What if I have? It's no business of yours!' erupted Tom. 'Our wedding is no business of yours. You aren't wanted here; she just told you. You see? I knew how she felt. She's no deaf mute. She's saying what I said she would say. So, why don't you just clear off? And don't come back.'
'I'll do whatever I damned well please!' Randal bit out.
Pippa's mouth went dry; she had never seen him look so angry. He scared her.
But she wouldn't let him see that; she pushed between him and Tom, staring angrily at Randal.
'Go away! I told you not to come here, and I meant it. And stop threatening Tom. Or I'll hit you with the nearest heavy object!'
He looked down at her, his face softening, relaxing, his mouth curling at the edges with amusement and his grey eyes dancing.
'I'm really scared!'
'I mean it!'
He held his hands up, palms towards her. 'Okay, okay, I'll be good. Promise, miss.'
She studied his features, hoping he meant it, but not assured by the amused mockery in his eyes, then turned to Tom. 'I think you'd better go now, Tom.'
Tom was still in a belligerent mood. 'Why should I leave? Tell him to go.'
'I will,' she told him firmly. 'But first I want you to go. I don't want you both leaving at the same time. I don't want a fight starting up outside the cottage; the neighbours have had enough excitement for today. Once you've driven off, he can go.'
'Tell him to go first, then I'll leave. Why should I be the first to go?' Tom stubbornly said.
She put her hand on his arm, her eyes pleading. 'Don't be difficult, Tom, don't go on arguing. Just leave, please.'
He hesitated, clearly very reluctant to climb down, especially in front of Randal, but eventually shrugged. 'Oh, very well, but only for you,' Averting his eyes from Randal, he marched out of the room towards the front door. Pippa followed, ruefully wondering why men were always so obsessed with their pride, their sense of themselves.
She had the strong feeling that Tom was more concerned with defeating Randal than he was with her.
Tom opened the front door, then paused, looked at her. 'Will you be staying on here, in the cottage?'
'No. I'm going to sell it. I'll contact an estate agent later today, or tomorrow.'
'Don't do that I'll buy it You know I've always loved it It will save you the agent's percentage to sell it direct to me.'
She was taken aback. 'Are you sure you really want to live here?'
'Certain. I'll get the house valued to make sure I'm paying the market price; I don't want you to feel I'm cheating you. Or you can get an agent to value it, if you prefer. Once we've agreed the price, we can complete the deal through our solicitors.'
Slowly, she nodded. 'Okay, Tom. You have the house valued. I trust you. Get in touch with someone. He can ring me to make an appointment to view the cottage.' She smiled at him. 'It will save me a lot of money to cut out an agent.'
He nodded, then shot a look past her into the hall. 'Are you sure you can deal with him? I'll sit in my car, if you like, until he goes.'
'There's no need, Tom. I'll be okay.'
He shrugged, smoothing down his fair hair. 'Very well, if you're sure. But don't let him talk you into seeing him again.'
'I won't, don't worry.'
Tom bent and kissed her lightly on her lips, said huskily, 'I'm going to miss you.' Then he walked away, got into his car, and drove off.
Sighing, Pippa slowly closed the front door and turned back, starting as she found Randal only a few feet behind her, his graceful body leaning against the wall in a casual manner which did not, disguise his poised capacity to be difficult.
'Were you eavesdropping?' she angrily demanded.
He raised one brow mockingly. 'I wanted to make sure he left without making any more trouble.'
'It was you who made the trouble!' She opened the front door again. 'Now, will you go, please?'
He sauntered back towards the kitchen, saying over his shoulder, 'Not yet.'
She let the door slam again and ran after him. 'I don't want you here! We've got nothing to say to each other. We've said it all.'
He swung, and the tension in his long, powerful body sent her heart into her throat 'I haven't. Why did you let him kiss you?'
'I didn't let him. It just happened! But it's not your business, anyway.'
'Oh, yes, it is,' he said, and she looked up again to find his grey eyes focused on her mouth with an intensity that made her pulses race.
She didn't want to respond like that. She wanted him to go away and leave her alone. But when he looked at her with such desire she felt her own passion leap up to meet his, and that terrified her.