‘Well, who was I to argue with an offer like that? Does Zeus have a perfect tan? Can he play the ukulele? I think not! But I never thought Octavian would start a war! Gaia must have been clouding my thoughts, whispering in my ear.’
Leo remembered the crazy wind dude Aeolus, who’d gone homicidal after hearing Gaia’s voice.
‘So fix it,’ he said. ‘Tell Octavian to stand down. Or, you know, shoot him with one of your arrows. That would be fine, too.’
‘I cannot!’ Apollo wailed. ‘Look!’
His ukulele turned into a bow. He aimed at the sky and shot. The golden arrow sailed about two hundred feet, then disintegrated into smoke.
‘To shoot my bow, I would have to step off Delos,’ Apollo cried. ‘Then I would be incapacitated, or Zeus would strike me down. Father never liked me. He hasn’t trusted me for millennia!’
‘Well,’ Artemis said, ‘to be fair, there was that time you conspired with Hera to overthrow him.’
‘That was a misunderstanding!’
‘And you killed some of Zeus’s Cyclopes.’
‘I had a good reason for that! At any rate, now Zeus blames me for everything – Octavian’s schemes, the fall of Delphi –’
‘Wait.’ Hazel made a time-out sign. ‘The fall of Delphi?’
Apollo’s bow turned back into a ukulele. He plucked a dramatic chord. ‘When the schism began between Greek and Roman, while I struggled with confusion, Gaia took advantage! She raised my old enemy Python, the great serpent, to repossess the Delphic Oracle. That horrible creature is now coiled in the ancient caverns, blocking the magic of prophecy. I am stuck here, so I can’t even fight him.’
‘Bummer,’ Leo said, though secretly he thought that no more prophecies might be a good thing. His to-do list was already pretty full.
‘Bummer indeed!’ Apollo sighed. ‘Zeus was already angry with me for appointing that new girl, Rachel Dare, as my Oracle. Zeus seems to think I hastened the war with Gaia by doing so, since Rachel issued the Prophecy of Seven as soon as I blessed her. But prophecy doesn’t work that way! Father just needed someone to blame. So of course he picked the handsomest, most talented, hopelessly awesome god.’
Artemis made a gagging gesture.
‘Oh, stop it, sister!’ Apollo said. ‘You’re in trouble, too!’
‘Only because I stayed in touch with my Hunters against Zeus’s wishes,’ Artemis said. ‘But I can always charm Father into forgiving me. He’s never been able to stay mad at me. It’s you I’m worried about.’
‘I’m worried about me, too!’ Apollo agreed. ‘We have to do something. We can’t kill Octavian. Hmm. Perhaps we should kill these demigods.’
‘Whoa there, Music Man.’ Leo resisted the urge to hide behind Frank and yell, Take the big Canadian dude! ‘We’re on your side, remember? Why would you kill us?’
‘It might make me feel better!’ Apollo said. ‘I have to do something!’
‘Or,’ Leo said quickly, ‘you could help us. See, we’ve got this plan …’
He told them how Hera had directed them to Delos, and how Nike had described the ingredients for the physician’s cure.
‘The physician’s cure?’ Apollo stood and smashed his ukulele on the stones. ‘That’s your plan?’
Leo raised his hands. ‘Hey, um, usually I’m all for smashing ukuleles, but –’
‘I cannot help you!’ Apollo cried. ‘If I told you the secret of the physician’s cure, Zeus would never forgive me!’
‘You’re already in trouble,’ Leo pointed out. ‘How could it get worse?’
Apollo glared at him. ‘If you knew what my father is capable of, mortal, you would not ask. It would be simpler if I just smote you all. That might please Zeus –’
‘Brother …’ Artemis said.
The twins locked eyes and had a silent argument. Apparently Artemis won. Apollo heaved a sigh and kicked his broken ukulele across the stage.
Artemis rose. ‘Hazel Levesque, Frank Zhang, come with me. There are things you should know about the Twelfth Legion. As for you, Leo Valdez –’ The goddess turned those cold silver eyes on him. ‘Apollo will hear you out. See if you can strike a deal. My brother always likes a good bargain.’
Frank and Hazel both glanced at him, like Please don’t die. Then they followed Artemis up the steps of the amphitheatre and over the crest of the hill.
‘Well, Leo Valdez?’ Apollo folded his arms. His eyes glowed with golden light. ‘Let us bargain, then. What can you offer that would convince me to help you rather than kill you?’