"I know," she said. "Why?"
"Because I want you too much. You're all I think about. All I give a flying damn about. You're in my blood, Colleen."
"You're in mine, too," she whispered, reaching up to cup his face between her palms. Her thumbs traced across his cheekbones and he held perfectly still as she went up on her toes, moved in and kissed him.
That soft brush of her lips against his was a benediction of sorts. A wiping away of the past and a welcome into the present-the future?
He fell into her kiss willingly, eagerly, and wrapped his arms around her. Colleen gave herself up to the moment, letting go of everything but the magic shimmering in the air between them.
But just as the kiss was deepening, spiraling out of control, Sage pulled back, looked down at her and muttered, "Damned if we're going to be together in an old cabin and then in an equipment shed where any one of my cowboys could glance in the window for a peek."
She flushed and laughed, burying her face briefly against his chest. "I forgot entirely where we were."
"Yeah, you have that effect on me, too," he confessed. "But today we're going to try an actual bed. Come with me."
He took her hand and led her out of the shed toward the main house and all Colleen could think was, she would go with him anywhere.
Ten
She woke up early in the master bedroom to find that Sage was already up and gone.
Colleen sighed and stretched languorously in the big bed she'd shared with him all night. Her mind filled with images of the night before and bubbles of residual heat slid through her bloodstream like champagne. She'd only managed about two hours' sleep all night, but she'd never felt more awake, more aware.
Who would have guessed that love could heighten every sense? Could make you both grateful and miserable with the kind of feelings that were so overwhelming? She couldn't stay, she knew she couldn't. She loved him and he didn't love her and never the twain would meet just like when it happened in those literary, depressing love stories.
But God, she didn't want to go. Her gaze fixed on the wall of windows and French doors leading to a wood deck, beyond which she saw an amazing sweep of stormy sky that was punctuated by the tips of pine trees. It looked as though they would get another storm, and she knew she should go before that storm hit. Now all she needed was the courage to make the move. She was in love, but he wasn't. In fact, he would probably panic and run if he knew how she felt about him. But when she remembered the tenderness, the amazing heat that spiraled between them when they made love, it was hard not to dream that one day, he might love her back.
"Oh, God," she murmured, pulling her pillow out from under her head to drop it onto her face. "Try not to be a complete idiot, Colleen. Sex isn't love. Just because he's good at it doesn't mean he cares. He's just...thorough."
She threw one arm across that pillow so that her voice was muffled and she wouldn't have to listen to herself. Honestly, this was a serious mess. Falling in love was just-unavoidable, she thought. Now she had to work out what to do about it. Keep her mouth shut, obviously. And get off this mountain as quickly as possible. Because the longer she stayed, the harder it would be to eventually walk away.
Just as that depressing thought took up root in her mind, Colleen's cell phone rang and she rolled out of bed to grab her jeans off the floor. Fumbling through the pockets, she found her phone, saw the caller ID and winced. "Hi, Mom."
"Hi, sweetie, how's it going?"
"Great, really. Um..." She looked around for something to slip on. She couldn't just stand there naked and chat with her mother. Finally settling for a sheet, she snaked it off the bed and wrapped it around her.
"So." Laura's voice was bright and happy. "Did you find the house you want to buy?"
Memories of the cabin rose up in her mind and she smiled wistfully. "I think so," she said, "but I'm still looking."
Because she loved that cabin and thought it would be perfect for her. But the question was, would she be able to live with the memories of what she and Sage had done there once they weren't together anymore? Could she really face those memories every day?
"That's wonderful, honey. It's so nice of Sage to take the time to show you around."
"Yep, very nice." And so much more.
"I know it's early to call, but I had to tell you, your aunt Donna is coming for a visit next week."
"That's great." She could hear the excitement in her mother's voice and Colleen sent another silent thank-you to J.D. for making this possible. Even if her own life was teetering on the brink of despair, at least her mother was having fun.
"We're going to plan our trip together and get our passport photos taken together," Laura said in a tangled rush of words. She kept talking, outlining her plans and laughing more than Colleen had heard her laugh in years. Finally, though, her mom slowed down and said, "You're awfully quiet."
"What?" Damn. She should have been paying closer attention. Her mother always had been really good at picking up on Colleen's moods.
"Never mind trying to play it cool, kiddo. Spill it."
Colleen dropped onto the edge of the bed, stared out at the view and took a deep breath before saying, "I screwed up."
"Impossible."
She laughed and a little of her depression lifted. "Thanks, Mom."
"Tell me what's wrong, sweetie."
"I'm in love with a man who likes me."
"But that's wonderful." Laura practically cheered.
Colleen shook her head and with one hand, pushed her hair back from her face. "I think you missed the most important part in that last sentence, Mom. He likes me. He doesn't love me."
"He will, though. How could he not?"
God bless mothers, Colleen thought with a sad smile. Though her mom would always support her, always believe in her, there was no way she could understand how Colleen was feeling right now. Her parents had fallen in love at first sight. They'd only known each other a month before they got married and they'd stayed deeply in love until the day Colleen's father died. So with that kind of background, her mother would never be able to see just how hopeless Colleen's situation was.
"It's not that easy." Not when his past held memories of a woman who had betrayed him.
"Who said it was supposed to be easy?" her mother asked, then added, "Okay, yes, your dad and I had it easy. We found each other and it all fell together. But Sage likes you. That's not so far from love."
Outside, the sky opened up and rain pelted the windows. They'd had sun, snow and now rain in just a few days. Colleen shivered a little and wondered if the storm was an omen. Then she dismissed that thought. No need to get crazy here.
"Have you told him how you feel?"
"Of course not," she said, horrified at the thought. She'd like to hang on to a little bit of dignity if she could. "I can't admit to that. How humiliating."
"Or," her mother said slyly, "how liberating. You risk nothing but a little pride. And honey, love is worth any price you have to pay."
A few minutes later she hung up, but her mother's words were still echoing through Colleen's mind. Was she right? Should she tell Sage what she was feeling? Or should she just pack up her heart before it got bruised and run back to reality?
An hour later, she was dressed and downstairs, looking for a cup of coffee. She was packed and would be leaving as soon as she spoke to Sage. She just still hadn't made up her mind what exactly to say to him and was hoping caffeine would help her think more clearly. When she heard Sage's voice, she followed the sound without even thinking about it. Walking down the long, gloomy hall, her sneakered footsteps were quiet on the wood floor. She tapped gently on his office door, then opened it.
He was sitting at his desk, holding the phone to his ear, which explained her hearing his voice. His back was to her, his gaze fixed on the raging storm beyond the wide glass window. Adrenaline pulsed through her as he started speaking again, as if her body was tuned to the timbre and richness of his voice. But before she could back out of the room and give him privacy for his call, what he was saying caught her attention.
"Dylan," he said, sounding bored and impatient as he talked to his brother, "dating Colleen was the only sure way to find out exactly what J.D. was up to before he died."