Samila Sayeh and Izem Blue? No, surely not. Those names were just from stories. Surely there were plenty of drafters their age who happened to be blues and reds who had special relationships with each other.
Next came more Blackguards, helping infirm drafters or wheeling them in chairs. Kip decided not to wait to see if Stump were with them.
He turned to slip through the crowd—and found himself face-to-face with Liv. She stood with her hands on her hips, her jaw tight. She flicked her eyes to the horse and back to Kip. Gulp.
“I can explain,” Kip said.
“You already did. Twice.” There was no amusement in her tone.
She’d found both notes. Oh hell.
“Don’t stop me, Liv, please.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” She lowered her voice. “You think you’re going to spy? You’re going to find Karris? And do what?”
His jaw set. “I’m going to save her.”
She made no effort to hide her incredulity. “That is one of the more ridiculous things I’ve heard in my life, Kip. If you want to run away because it’s too dangerous here, you don’t need to pretend—”
“Go to hell!” he said, stunning even himself. Her eyes shot wide. He couldn’t believe he’d said that to Liv—Liv, for Orholam’s sake! “I’m sorry!” He said it too loud and some people around them looked at him. He lowered his voice sheepishly. “I’m really sorry, that was stupid to say, and mean. I didn’t mean it. I—Liv.” He paused, then bulled ahead. “I’m nothing. I’ve been a nothing for my whole life. And I’m being catapulted into having people treat me different because of something I had no control over? Because of my father?” He could see on her face that she understood. She knew exactly what he meant. “Liv, I owe Gavin everything, and he hasn’t asked anything of me.”
“He will,” Liv said darkly.
“Has he ever asked you to do anything wrong, Liv?”
“Not yet,” she admitted. “I’m just saying that you have to look out for yourself when it comes to people from the Chromeria.”
“And what? You’re not one of them? If you make me go back, you’ll be making me break my word.”
“What?” Liv looked like he’d just slapped her face.
“I swore that I was going to save Karris. Don’t you see, Liv? I’m perfect precisely because I’m a nothing. Look at my eyes!” Still confused, she looked at his eyes. “No color, no halo,” Kip said. “But I can draft. Liv, for the first time in my life, I know exactly what I have to do. No one is making me do this. I’m doing it because it’s right. There’s something tremendously—” He clenched his hands, trying to pull in the words. “Freeing. Powerful. I don’t know what, but I know it feels good.”
“Even if you go to your death?” Liv asked.
He chuckled joylessly. “I’m not being a hero, Liv. I just don’t like myself that much. So what if I die?”
“That’s the most awful thing I’ve ever heard,” Liv said.
“I’m sorry,” Kip said. “I’m not trying to be pitiful. I’m just saying—I’ve got nothing. I’m an orphan, at best a bastard. A shame. I just don’t have that much to lose. If I can do something good with my life—or even with my death—then how could I not try?”
He could see her wavering. For the first time, he had hope that he could actually get away with this.
“Please, Liv. If I fail in this—if I can’t even get out of the city—I really am a nothing. Please. Don’t make me fail in the most important thing I’ve ever tried to do.”
She blinked, then grinned. “I never thought what might happen if you turned that wily tongue against me. You ought to be an orange.”
“I do resemble one in general shape, but I’m not sure—”
“A drafter, not a fruit!” she said, laughing.
Oh, he was like a slippery drafter.
“Does this mean you’re not going to stop me?” Kip said.
“Worse,” she said.
“Huh?”
“You have to do what’s right; I have to do what’s right. You’re my responsibility, Kip.”
“Oh no you don’t.”
“Yes. I’m going with you—or you’re not going.”
“Liv, you don’t understand—” She doesn’t understand what? That you’re totally smitten with her? That she’s beautiful and smart and wonderful and amazing and your whole soul longs just to be with her, but you can’t imagine putting her in danger?