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The Birds and the Bees(4)

By:Milly Johnson


‘I don't know what you mean,' said Catherine unconvincingly.

‘Yes, you do, you lying little bugger.' He tweaked her nose.

‘Well, I think I'll have you electronically tagged just to be on the  safe side,' said Catherine, but it only sounded like half a joke.

‘It's more likely you'd leave me,' said Eddie. ‘I'm hardly chuffing Hugh Grant, am I?'

‘I don't like chuffing Hugh Grant,' Catherine told him. ‘Well, I do to watch, but I wouldn't want to snog him.'

‘I wouldn't leave you, babe,' said Eddie, tilting her face up towards  his and giving her a kiss on her lips that still made something deep  within her tingle. He smelt of soap and Fahrenheit aftershave and home.

‘Ugh, gross,' said the cake-baking Goth in the background.

‘Mind your own business, Morticia,' commanded Eddie over his shoulder,  before turning back to his wife. ‘And you, drink your tea and try to  stop worrying about things you can do nothing about.'

That was easier said than done because Catherine felt that she had let  her friend down in a terrible way. It was impossible for this to have  happened. NO ONE got through Catherine's hair-trigger defence system for  Stevie. She would never let the woman she was closer to than her own  sisters go through all that crap again. Or so she had promised herself.

‘Well, all I can say is, that's men for you!' said seventeen-year-old  Kate with a heavy sigh of experience. She drifted from the room like a  dramatic black plume of smoke, leaving Eddie and Catherine crippled from  the effort of keeping in a bout of laughter that, at that moment, was  so very well-needed.





Chapter 3




When Adam left Stevie's house he got into his very nice car and took a  minute to study the medium-sized detached house of his love rival.  Boring, neat enough outside but nothing spectacular, how he'd always  imagined Matthew Finch to be from the way Jo had described him. That  was, until he'd seen a framed photo on the dresser (next to another  ridiculous Midnight Moon book) of the frumpy (most likely bottle)  blonde, lumpy girlfriend snuggling up to a clean-shaven Prince Charming  type: dark hair, dark eyes, nice white-toothed smile. He presumed that  must be him, and he was far too good-looking for her. Surely she must  have realized that it was only a matter of time before Finch's  chocolate-coloured eyes were drawn towards someone his physical equal,  like his own doe-eyed Jo. By Jings, the very least that short,  unspecial-looking untidy woman could have done was look after her house  and brush her hair occasionally to keep her man interested. Anger  management classes might have been a good idea too. That way, her man  might not have been on red alert, looking for company and desperate for  love and attention. And he might not have presented a tortured and  vulnerable side to Adam's beautiful, sensitive lady of eighteen  months – Joanna.                       
       
           



       

Funny though, he hadn't expected Finch's woman to look as stunned as she  had done by his revelation. By all accounts, she was a heartless cow.  On second thoughts, she was probably thinking about being split up from  his money. That type always did.

Adam sped off down the bypass, out of the town and towards the sprawling  estate of newly built ‘Paradise' properties on the edge of an ex-pit  village that had recently been given an extreme makeover. There, he  pulled onto the drive of the fortieth finished double-fronted detached  house, a design at the top of the luxury bracket. He turned the key in  the lock and then quickly deactivated the alarm that protected all their  state-of-the-art entertainment equipment, although he was far more of  an effective deterrent to would-be burglars than any bell would be.

She'll be back, he thought. How could she leave all this? Her dream  home. He looked around at the expensive curtains and carpets, the  extensive CD and DVD collection, all the creature comforts anyone could  desire. All for her. He'd get her back; whatever it took, he'd get her  back. How could she leave him? She couldn't leave him, he wouldn't let  her.

He smoothed his hand over the freshly plastered wall where the dining  room led out to their almost finished conservatory. Then with a huge  primal roar, he pulled back his fist and drove it into the wall, leaving  the deep, wide impression of his knuckles.



That night, Stevie didn't give way to the tears that threatened, despite  a concrete blockage the size of Venus stuck in her throat. Crying meant  grieving, and grieving meant she had already lost him. Crying would  have sapped the energy reserves that she badly needed to draw from. This  wasn't a time for emotional output; she needed her head clear in order  to think. What was it about Jo that was better than her? She began to  write a list. It went on a bit longer than she had anticipated and began  to look like a seriously bad idea.

She remembered how, on all the occasions when she'd moaned about her  figure not being quite what she wanted it to be, or that there seemed to  be more little laughter lines appearing at her eye-corners, Matthew had  kissed her far from perfect nose and said she was just fine and dandy  as she was. Obviously not fine and dandy enough if he'd buggered off to  Majorca with someone with a flatter stomach, longer legs, smaller conk  and all the other sickening ers that she couldn't compete with. Not  without major plastic surgery and a magic wand anyway.

Stevie turned to a new page in the pad. This time her head would lead on  how to tackle this one, not her heart. She would work out a plan to get  him back. She would let him slip back seamlessly into her life and  pretend this had never happened. He would never suspect she knew of his  unfaithful escapade. Whatever it took to make this happen, she would do.

Whatever.





Chapter 4




The next morning, Stevie found Danny downstairs, wearing, or rather  drowning in, his dressing-gown. On the label, it said it was for four to  five year olds, but omitted to add the word hippos. He was staring at  the empty cake-tin he had just found on the kitchen table. His bottom  lip protruded so far, it should have had a cliff warning on it.

‘Mummy, where's the cake you promised me?' he asked.

‘Wait and see. Breakfast first,' said Stevie, clapping her hands like  Joyce Grenfell in teacher mode. Danny had his usual orange juice and  Coco Pops, and then sucked up the chocolatey milk with a straw. Then he  washed his face and brushed his teeth, before getting his blue and grey  uniform on for school, socks first. Everything always in the same order.  Danny was a creature of habit and got upset if his routines were  interrupted. Apparently, that was a sign of a gifted child, the nursery  teacher had told her after an infuriating morning getting Danny down the  path to school after they were late and rushing, and there hadn't been  enough time to let him read out aloud all the numbers of the houses they  passed, like they usually did. Sign of a child that wants his bottom  walloped more like, she had thought at the time.

Though, there was no getting away from it, he was certainly a bright  little button, an added bonus because when he was born, Danny was so  premature that there was a real chance he might have had some brain  damage. Sitting in a hospital scared to go to sleep in case your child  doesn't survive the night was something she wouldn't wish on any parent;  they were dark, dark times.

Miraculously, her baby boy had pulled through and every year he got a  birthday card from ‘The Little Fighters' Club' at the Special Care Unit  up at the hospital. Hard to imagine that the tiny, fragile scrap and the  sturdy, clever little boy now in front of her were one and the same  person.                       
       
           



       

Danny was always writing and making little books, like she used to do,  although hopefully not for the same reasons. She would have liked him to  follow in her footsteps and write for a living, but something a little  loftier than Midnight Moon fiction, which was for ladies who liked to  escape to a land where men were men and women sighed a lot and fainted  but at least the endings were happy.

‘Is my cake ready yet, Mummy?' he asked again, as Stevie straightened his tie, playing for time.

‘Well er, … the thing is … '

The doorbell bing-bonged, a sound that translated as a hallelujah chorus  in Stevie's head as she opened the door to Catherine, newly restored to  her usual auburn, wearing her best and widest smile and wooden-acting  worse than an extra in Crossroads.

‘Hi, Stevie, here's the cake you baked last night. I'm sorry, I walked  off with it instead of the empty tin, that I was borrowing off of you.  Ha, ha, how silly of me.'