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The Birds and the Bees(34)

By:Milly Johnson


‘It's a mad world though, Steve. And if they don't see you, then you have to keep going at it until they do.'

‘I was afraid you'd say that.'

‘Well, it's all part of the plan!' Catherine laughed, although she was  getting less keen on the idea of a Stevie and Matthew reconciliation  every day. Even though she wanted her friend to be happy, she also  wished she would stuff it home to Matthew that there was life without  him, and if it took Adam MacLean to help her do that, then so be it. She  hoped Stevie wouldn't give in too easily when Matthew came crawling  back to her because he would, nothing surer. Catherine wanted Matthew to  realize what he was missing in Stevie, although she was becoming  increasingly confused as to what Stevie was missing in Matthew.

‘I've to be ready for seven thirty.'

‘Well, Kate will be over for seven.'

‘Great – I'll direct her to the cheesecake and the other food stocks. She's a good girl.'

‘She's an extortionist. Twenty quid! I'd do it for nothing if there was a cheesecake involved.'

‘I'll get her a taxi back. I won't let MacLean drive her.'

‘Thanks,' said Catherine. ‘Ooh, those legs though. If I babysat for you, I'd let him drive me home.'

‘You're one sick woman, Catherine Flanagan.'

Catherine laughed. ‘Nervous?'

‘What have I to be nervous about? I'm only going out with a wife-beating psychopath.'

‘I don't think he's anything of the sort,' said Catherine. ‘I think the  bloke has got some bad press. We believed everything Jo said – and look  what a calculating cow she turned out to be. We only have her side of  things. I tell you, Steve, I took a long hard look at him at Pam's  wedding, and he looked like a pretty decent guy to me.'

‘Pretty?'

‘You know what I mean.'

‘Oh Cath, come on. There can't have been that much smoke without fire.  You only have to look at him to know he's not Mr Fluffy!' Stevie gave a  disbelieving laugh. ‘Have you seen that scar on his face? What the hell  could have caused that? He didn't get that making daisy chains.'

‘Well, he was certainly Mr Fluffy with Pam and Will's old relatives.'

‘All show!' said Stevie, who remained unconvinced. ‘He was playing to an  audience. He would have kissed babies too if there had been any.  Politicians' tricks – and we all know how wholesome they are, don't we?'

‘You really don't like him at all, do you?'

‘No,' said Stevie, ‘but we need each other, it seems. And at least being at the pictures means I don't have to talk to him.'



 … Which had been Adam MacLean's precise thought when he proposed the  venue. The cinema was central, popular and he would not have to converse  with her much. Plus there was a good chance someone would spot them  together and report their presence back to Jo. Even though she might not  want him herself now, she wouldn't want anyone else to have him either.  He knew what a jealous creature she could be, a fact that would work  very much in his favour here.                       
       
           



       



Matthew was actually filling the kettle when he noticed Eddie's van at  the other side of the lane dropping off his daughter. Kate had babysat  for them a couple of times, which was the only reason she ever came  round. Stevie must be going out, he concluded. Probably to Catherine's.  But then she would have taken Danny with her, surely? Stevie never went  out by herself, unless it was to Catherine's. So where was she going? On  a Saturday night too.

He mentally slapped himself; it wasn't any of his business – they were  separated. He was with Jo now, so why should he even be interested?

But still …



‘You look nice,' said Kate, trying not to fall over as Danny wrapped himself around her very long giraffe-y legs.

‘Do I?' said Stevie.

‘Green looks great on you,' said Kate. ‘I wish I were blonde.'

‘You are!' laughed Stevie. Kate was naturally the platinum blonde that  people aspired to, but she persisted on dyeing her long, long hair  Goth-black with various shades of wild colour shot through it. At the  moment, the couleur du jour was electric blue. She carried it off with  the confidence of youth and looked stunning.

‘Going to help me demolish this then, Dans?' asked Kate, her big  sapphire eyes rounding at the sandwich fest and cheesecake which Stevie  had left out for her. ‘Have you had your tea?'

‘Yes,' said Danny. ‘I had beans off toast.'

‘Beans off toast?' Kate looked to Stevie for further explanation.

‘He means beans minus toast,' Stevie sighed. ‘My little boy has suddenly  decided he doesn't like bread.' In the same way that halfway through a  McDonald's a couple of months ago, he had decided that he didn't like  chips any more and hadn't touched a potato since. At least he was an  Atkins-friendly child.

‘Bread's really good for you, Dans. Especially this brown stuff. I eat  loads, it's cool,' said Kate, giving Stevie a wink and stuffing a  sandwich in her mouth.

‘Is it? Do you?' said Danny in amazement. ‘Mummy, could I have one like Kate's got, please?'

Stevie was quite sure that Kate could get Danny to eat horse manure if she tried.

As the second hand began its slow descent towards half past, Stevie was  feeling more and more nauseous. The evening stretched excruciatingly  long and hard in front of her and she had thrown the free newspaper  supplement away so she didn't even know what was on at the ‘picture  hoos'. No doubt she'd have to sit through some all-action movie with a  big macho hero who shot lots of people with huge guns whilst a little  girly, accidentally caught up in the action, teetered behind him with  stilt high heels and massive knockers.

‘I think he's here,' said Kate, peeping out of the window.

‘Shit!' said Stevie.

‘Mummy!'

‘Sorry, Danny,' said Stevie, slapping her hand over her mouth.

‘Where are you going?'

‘It's … er … a business meeting about Mummy's writing,' said Stevie. ‘You go  in there with Kate, darling,' and she ushered him towards the lounge  before he could see MacLean and get nightmares.

‘Come on then, Dans, let's go and watch a DVD with the cinema surround  on full vol,' said Kate, taking him into the lounge. ‘Give Mums a kiss.'

‘Bye, darling, be good for Kate,' said Stevie, although she knew he  would be an absolute angel for Kate. Then, as soon as the lounge door  closed, there was a battering-ram-type boom at the front door. Stevie  grabbed her jacket and handbag and reached for the handle, noticing how  much her hand was shaking as it stretched out in front of her. She  opened it to find Adam MacLean colour-co-ordinated with her in a pale  green shirt and stonewashed jeans.

‘Both of us in mint – nice touch,' he said appreciatively. ‘I took a slow  walk from the car to the door,' he went on. ‘Now we'll take a slow walk  back to it.'

‘Okay,' said Stevie. He opened the car door for her (for show  obviously), closed it behind her and then climbed in the driver's seat.  The CD switched on with the ignition – Alvin Stardust. She had been  expecting something a lot heavier: the Prodigy maybe, or some other  group with a lead singer who bit the heads off live rodents.

They didn't speak at all. Stevie wished she'd brought a knife to cut the  atmosphere between them, though actually, just bringing a knife would  have been sensible. Adam drove steadily despite his car being such a  long, fast, sleek number. She knew the myth about men and big cars,  although she doubted very much that Jo was the sort of woman who would  have entertained a man who was short in that area. Matthew was nicely  endowed – not too big, not too small – and from the size of the rest of Adam  MacLean, he looked as if he might have a bit of a monster in his  trousers. Then she wondered why on earth she was thinking about Adam  MacLean's willy and cut off those thoughts there and then.                       
       
           



       

They arrived at the car park, which was just around the corner from the  cinema. Still not speaking, they crossed the road and joined the queue  for the ticket booth.

‘Whit do you want to go and see?' he asked.

There were two films showing. One was something like The Strangulator – no  prizes for guessing that would be his choice, thought Stevie – or a  psychological thriller with Denzel Washington, who, Stevie thought, was  quite dishy and would certainly take her mind off the fact that she was  on an obligatory evening out with him.

‘Er … what do you want?' said Stevie diplomatically.