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The Birds and the Bees(33)

By:Milly Johnson


‘Ooh, promises, promises,' she said.

‘You're my good-luck charm, that's what you are,' he said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her lovely juicy lips.

‘You'd better not be long,' she purred. ‘Although I might have slipped  into something more comfortable by the time you get back. My, it's so  hot in here,' and she unbuttoned her shirt a couple more notches.

He shot out of the door to the car with a smile as big as his erection,  although both reduced a little when he saw the light filtering through  the blinds across the lane. A kind thought slipped through all the black  ones that said he really should give Stevie some money from his  winnings towards the cancelled wedding and what he owed for Danny's  holiday.

But then again, if she could afford to live in that cottage … And Jo said  he had to be cruel in the short run to be kind in the long run.

In a trice Matthew had justified keeping his winnings for himself and Jo, and he drove to the off-licence for their champagne.





Chapter 27




There was a message waiting for Stevie after she had come back from an Adam MacLean-free hour on the weights at the gym.

‘Bea darling, it's Crystal. Just ringing to see if everything's okay,'  which was her boss Crystal Rock's (yes, really) way of saying, ‘Where  the fucking hell is your manuscript? It's overdue and I never have to  chase you – so what's wrong?'

Stevie bit the bullet and rang her back immediately.

‘Darling!' Crystal said, when her latest PA (Danielle?) put her through.  Stevie tried to learn their names, but none of them seemed to last more  than a week. Crystal was scare-ee, although somehow she and Stevie had  always managed to get on just fine.

‘Hiya, Crys, sorry I've not been in touch.'

‘I was worried about you, darling,' said Crystal, who had a voice like an expensive smooth cocktail.

‘I was just ringing to allay your fears and say that my manuscript is nearly ready.'

‘Nearly? Oh now, darling, you've been neglecting me for your wedding  plans, haven't you?' said Crystal, with a heavy threat tangled up in the  light banter.

‘There isn't going to be a wedding,' said Stevie, who was quite aware  she was using her distress to buy herself some time. She couldn't lose  this job, and if she could sell her soul to MacLean in exchange for her  man, she could sacrifice her pride for her work. She could virtually see  Crystal shifting forward at her desk and putting her Pomeranian, called  ‘Eiffel', down on the floor, as she did when chat became serious.

‘No wedding? What on earth do you mean?'                       
       
           



       

‘Matthew has … has found someone else.'

‘Oh darling, the absolute … '

Stevie winced at the word she used, although even she had to admit it  actually sounded quite classy being issued via Crystal's  Swiss-finishing-school-educated voice-box.

‘Look, it's fine. When can you get it to me?' said Crystal in a rare moment of leniency.

‘I'll email it Tuesday first thing. It's nearly finished, I promise,'  gushed Stevie, issuing a silent prayer of thanks upwards. She was out of  the frying pan.

‘I'll expect it, darling. Oh, and start thinking about the next one.  We've had an absolute glut of Mediterranean heroes and yet our own Scots  and Irish boys have been totally neglected.'

‘I'll do an Irish.'

‘No, I've given Paul the Irish. I want you to take the Scot. Call it  Highland Fling – you know the format. But let's have some red hair and  Gaelic testosterone and plenty of it.'

‘Absolutely,' said Stevie, who suddenly felt herself being catapulted  out of the pan and thrown into a very hot fire. How the hell could she  make a sex symbol out of a red-haired Scot when she would be imagining  that … that man? He would end up killing the heroine with a giant-handed  slap in Chapter One – and how flaming romantic was that?



Matthew rose from bed feeling incredibly sick. Sick in head, stomach and  heart. The line to Camelot hadn't been engaged after all, it had been  faulty, although they hadn't known that when they were ringing excitedly  at five-minute intervals. After seven more attempts, they cracked open  the first bottle of champagne, and after that was drained they started  dancing. After the second bottle of champagne, to which they had added  brandy and brown sugar to make cocktails, Matthew had carried Jo  upstairs and attempted to make love to her, failing dismally – not that  either of them cared. They were going to be rich – well, rich enough to  have a bloody good spend and a fantastic holiday au soleil. More  importantly, he could put off that ever-looming money talk with Jo. The  fates were smiling on him.

He was woken up by Status Quo playing in his head, a stomach like a  cement-mixer and Jo shaking on his shoulder to say she had eventually  got through to Camelot to find he had won five hundred and fifteen quid,  which he could collect from a post office.

Five bloody hundred and bloody fif-bloody-teen quid for five bloody  numbers. They weren't the only f-words that crossed his mind and that  was from a man who hated swearing.

‘A record number of winners on that draw,' Camelot had said, with a copious amount of sympathy.

Four hundred and seventy five quid ‘profit' then, if you took off the  price of the champers. It wouldn't even make a small dent in what he  owed so there wasn't much point in chucking the money to a Visa company.  It would be like throwing a microscopic blob of plankton into the mouth  of a ravenous Great White shark. No, they might as well enjoy it with  something frivolous. Ironic really – having to spend the money on  something to take the pain of such a win away.

Jo brought him Paracetamol and coffee and he threw them up so she  brought more. She was such a sweetheart and he loved her for caring,  especially because she was as sick as he was and kept saying over and  over again to him that it really didn't matter. He rang in work for them  both, getting much sympathy for the food-poisoning excuse he used, but  was too ill to care if he was believed or not. Then he crawled into bed,  falling asleep as soon as his arm had encircled the gorgeous, but limp,  woman at his side.



‘Hello,' said Stevie, picking up the phone.

‘Adam MacLean. Hreyooo?' boomed his voice. Why did he have to be so loud all the time?

Stevie felt her whole body stiffen. ‘Fine, thank you. How are you?'

‘Okay. So, anything to report?'

‘Not really,' said Stevie, ‘unless you want to know that his car is  still outside. So they haven't gone to work today presumably, although  that's a very trivial detail and I'm almost sorry to have mentioned it.'

She could sense his jaw muscle tighten and twitch with annoyance at the  other end of the line and she got a little thrill out of that. Yes,  writing about a Scot in her new book might be fun. She could have him  jumping like a puppet to her call. She could have him trampled by a  beautiful white horse, ridden by the gorgeous young strawberry-blonde  heroine. She would call her Evie. Evie Sweetwell.

‘I rang to say I think we should initiate the next stage,' he said,  smilingly polite, although he was probably crushing the skull of some  small animal to offset the pain of trying to be nice.                       
       
           



       

‘Whatever you say, Mr MacLean.'

‘Can you get a babysitter tomorrow?'

Uh-oh, this was sounding ominous. A siren was going off in her head and  there were so many warning flags they were doing a very long Mexican  wave down her spinal column.

‘Er … not sure, why?' she asked, but knowing Catherine would help out in a  crisis. Kate wasn't courting at the moment and saving up madly for  whatever seventeen year olds save up for and would gladly welcome twenty  quid, full access to a blackcurrant cheesecake and a sly couple of  Bacardi Breezers.

‘Because I think you should go oot, it being Saturday night an' all.'

‘Me – out? Where?'

‘With me.'

Oh farts! ‘With you?'

‘Get yer best clobba on, lady,' said Adam MacLean. ‘I'll pick you up at seven-thirty. We're aff to the picturehoos.'





Chapter 28




‘So, what are you going to wear?' said Catherine.

‘Dunno, what you do think?'

‘That green crossover top, definitely. That was Matthew's favourite so that's bound to strike a chord if he sees you.'

‘If? How do I make that a definite, so all this will be worthwhile? What  if they don't see us? What if they don't happen to be looking out of  the window watching us go off together? I mean, it's highly unlikely  they will be, isn't it really? It's mad, totally mad.'