Home>>read The Birds and the Bees free online

The Birds and the Bees(23)

By:Milly Johnson


‘If you'll agree to consider moving in there, we'll come to some  arrangement about the money that disnae see you short,' Adam interrupted  back. ‘I might be able to batter the landlord down on price.'

Yes, she could imagine he would be very effective at battering. She had a  sudden scene in her head of some old, defenceless landlord in a  headlock saying, ‘Yes, yes, I'll compromise – please just get off my  windpipe!'

She nodded her head warily. This seemed to incense him.

‘Look, lady, I'm doing this primarily for me and Jo, not you and him,  but unfortunately we're all knotted up in this together. This isnae a  charity thing, if that's what you're thinking.'

‘As if!' Yeah, like that thought had crossed her mind.

‘Well then? It's the only way, and trust me I've thought of every  possible solution. So if you would be so kind as to give me your  telephone number … '

Stevie scraped the bottoms of the barrels of her brain for any other  alternatives, but came up with zilch. As he said, mad as it was, this  was worth trying. Anything was worth trying. Even entering an unholy  alliance with McBeelzebub here. She had to get Matthew back, so she  swallowed her pride and it felt bitter and lumpy on the way down.

‘Okay, you're on,' she said, with a heavy sigh of resignation.

Once she and Matthew were reunited, they might even laugh at this one  day, surrounded by grandchildren and sipping Horlicks by a fireside,  with Mr and Mrs MacLean long resigned to the trashcan of history. She  scribbled down her mobile number on one of the five million pads she had  littered about the place, in case of sudden literary inspiration, then  Adam left quickly – a man with a mission, locked on course.



He rang her an hour later, during which time her nerves had knitted themselves into a scarf of knots.

‘The landlaird willnae budge o'the price,' he said.

‘Pardon?'

‘Theee land-lord will not budge on the price,' pronounced Adam slowly.

‘Oh well, that's that then.'

‘I'll cover what you can't afford. We'll sort out the details later.  I've signed the lease and I've got the key, which I'll drop around to  you this afternoon, so if you've anything heavy to carry across, I'll do  it for you then, because you start moving in today. Ring your man  tomorrow and tell him the place is empty a day early. Now go pack!'

Then he put the phone down before Stevie could manage a single word of protest.





Chapter 20




Adam arrived with the key just as Stevie was disconnecting her computer.  Together they walked across the road to inspect her new temporary home,  whose formal address, according to the lease, was Humbleby Cottage, the  houses on that side of the road having only names, no numbers. Humbleby  was something of a misnomer, because there was nothing the least bit  humble about it from the outside aspect and even less from the inside,  as they were to find when they unlocked the door and went in. Adam  hadn't (unfortunately) banged his skull on the beams and fatally injured  himself. They were deceptively high and his head cleared them easily,  although maybe it wouldn't be wise for him to start pogo-ing to any punk  records whilst he was there.

The cottage was chocolate-box pretty. The kitchen was roadside with a  huge Yorkshire stone inglenook fireplace, an old working Aga and  original wooden floors with thick patterned rugs over them. Thankfully,  the modern world had been allowed in too and there was central heating  and double-glazing with security windows throughout. There was the bonus  of a good-sized, well-equipped separate study with hundreds of  bookshelves, a lounge with an even grander fireplace, and a darling  little sunroom around the back looking out onto a long private cottage  garden, which apparently had been maintained by a gardener in the  absence of a tenant. Upstairs was a huge spacious girly bathroom and two  massive, pretty bedrooms with exposed beams.                       
       
           



       

For some reason, Adam had smiled slyly when he said, ‘Only two bedrooms, eh?'

She hadn't even dared to ask what that might have meant.

A domestic service had been going in once every three weeks to dust it  down, so the cottage was ready to move into without Stevie having to  clean it or scrub out the cupboards. It was immaculate and fully  furnished with some very nice stuff.

‘Whit do you think?' said Adam.

‘It's lovely,' said Stevie. She would have to be very careful and try  not to fall in love with it. Her relationship with the house would have  to be a casual one. Although she was beginning to doubt her ability to  fall in love with anything again. As soon as her heart touched  something, it seemed to scare it away.

‘Right – got anything heavy I can move for you?'

‘I haven't got a lot of things,' she replied. ‘I sold most of my  furniture with my last house because it wouldn't fit in Matthew's.'

‘You must have something, mon!'

‘Just my computer for now.'

‘Let's go and get it then.'

So off they went back to Matthew's house and he carried her computer  over and set it up for her in the little study. It would be a change to  work in some generous space for a while, she thought, after being  cramped in the corner of Matthew's tiny dining area.

‘Work from home, dae you?' he asked as he was twiddling with leads.

‘Yes,' she said, without furnishing him with further detail.

‘On this?'

‘Yes,' she replied. He didn't need to know any more and she had no intention of enlightening him and earning his ridicule.

‘So, what's next?' he asked, when the computer was up and running.

‘Well, I've got some books.'

‘C'moan then,' and he marched back over like a Black Watch soldier on  parade. She hadn't unpacked most of them from her last move so they were  all still conveniently in boxes under the dining-room table. Matthew  had been going to buy her some shelves for her birthday, but he had not  had the spare money and the date had come and gone. He had bought her  some smellies from Marks & Spencer instead – the sort of soap  collection one would buy for a spinster aunt with dodgy olfactory  workings.

‘They're a bit heav-'

‘Nonsense,' Adam said, and lifted the first one up as if it was an empty  crisp packet, then he came back for the other two and carried them as  effortlessly. The bloke was an ox. He should have been out ploughing  fields, not running leisure facilities.

‘What noo?' he asked, not even a bit out of breath.

‘Nothing really. The rest will just be suitcases and black bags. I can manage those myself when I fill them.'

‘Right, I'll be in touch,' he said, and then he dropped the cottage keys into her hand and went without further ado.

After he vroomed off, Stevie rang Catherine to tell her how the previous night had gone with Matthew.

‘I still can't believe how he's treated you,' her friend said, when  Stevie filled her in on the details, ‘and then to pretend he wasn't  going out with Jo until the wedding! He's got such a nerve. What will  you do?'

‘Well, if you've a spare half an hour, I'll show you,' Stevie replied.

‘Show?'

‘Can you get your butt over here? You won't regret it.'

‘I'm in the car already.'

Five minutes later, Catherine was there and Stevie led her silently and  mysteriously over the road. Catherine gasped when she produced a key and  slid it into the lock of her favourite house ever.

‘You're not moving in here? You can't afford this, can you?' she said with breathless excitement.

‘Yes, I am, and no, I can't,' said Stevie and proceeded to tell her the Adam MacLean part of the story.



‘You lucky cow bitch from hell living here,' said Catherine.

‘In other circumstances, maybe,' said Stevie.

‘Well, even for a little while it'll be nice,' said Catherine, whose  eyes couldn't move fast enough around the inside of the house. ‘Bloody  hell, Steve, it's like a Tardis. It's even bigger than it looks from  outside – it's massive, in fact, and it's absolutely gorgeous. No wonder  it's so expensive.'

Stevie nodded. Yes, it was beautiful, apart from the view from the  kitchen – for the home she was leaving would sit there framed in the  window like a taunting picture: Ner ner ner ner ner, you don't live  here, but guess who-o do-oes.

‘Well, for the record, I think it's a bloody good idea of Adam MacLean's,' said Catherine.                       
       
           



       

‘Do you?' Stevie was surprised at that. Catherine wasn't usually one for  wild schemes and mad impulses, or for siding with people who beat up  women for a hobby.