“Who’s that?” Allison doesn’t miss a beat.
“Just one of the guys working tonight, he hung out with me while I waited.”
“He’s sort of cute…” I’m fairly certain this is a question and not a statement and I shrug.
“I guess.”
“You look like it’s been a night worthy of a bottle of wine and old TV reruns.” She glances over at me as we pull out of the driveway.
“You have no idea.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
It’s been three days, three bottles of cheap red wine and two pints of ice cream since I last stepped foot inside the Lambert Estate and I still can’t get Gideon out of my head. Allison’s plan to build me a new life to distract me from my misery has managed to do nothing more than give me a permanent headache from staring at job listings online. She keeps telling me that the right one will come along and we’ll “get me out of this rut” but I’m starting to lose faith in her confidence and quite honestly become a little aggravated at her perseverance. God help me it’s only been three days, I don’t think I could take much more though.
“Anything new this morning?” She sets a cup of coffee in front of me and presses down on the lid of her travel mug.
“Nope.”
“Well, something will come up and until then you still have your old job, right?” She grabs her car keys. “Okay, I’m off; I’ll pick up dinner on my way home okay?”
“Mmm” I take a sip of my coffee and get back to my fruitless job hunt.
“Ummm, Missy?” Allison shouts from the front door.
“What? I thought you left already?”
“There’s someone at the door for you.” I hope to God it’s not the bartender but when I get to the door and find Gideon standing there I begin to wish that it had. “Ok, I’ll see you later then!” Allison pushes past Gideon and flashes me a smile before heading to her car.
“Yes?” I try to keep my cool.
“I believe this is yours?” He holds out an envelope and I know full well what’s inside it.
“How do you know that’s mine? Besides, it’s not mine and it never was.” Gideon pushes past me and shuts the door behind him.
“Because…” he walks through to the living room and sits down on the sofa, “no one else would donate such a small amount at one of my events.” I want to curse him for still managing to be so rude when he’s the one who, I assume, is here because he wants something.
“Look, it’s not my money and I knew you’d never take it back so I figured that I may as well give it to a good cause.” Gideon looks at me, his blue eyes piercing.
“That money was yours, Melissa. I gave it to you.”
“No, no you didn’t Gideon, you snuck it in to my purse like some kind of secret deal, some pay off for pretending to be your wife.” Before he can protest I add, “It wasn’t given to me, it was paid to me and I’m not some escort.” I can’t believe I’m actually talking to him like this, and from the look on his face neither can he.
“It wasn’t like that, Melissa and you know it.” His voice is calm but I can tell by the look on his face that he is very quickly becoming irritated.
“Look, the way I see it we’re done, I’m not the person you want me to be and I can’t be her. Giving that money away was just closure.” He frowns and I can see the hurt in his face when he hears these words. What he had thought was going on between us I can’t be sure, but apparently he hadn’t come to the realization that we were through.
“Just like that we’re done?”
“Gideon…I need to be more than someone who looks like someone you love. I need to be more than a fuck once in a while. I deserve more than that.” As I speak these words he reaches out and almost violently grabs my arm, pulling me down on to his knee.
“You were never just a fuck, Melissa” his hands feel so good against my skin and I can feel his breath as he leans in to me. “How could you say that?” His forehead wrinkles, “Is that what you think you are to me?” I shrug under his piercing gaze and I try to turn my face away but he catches his finger under my chin and pulls my face back to his. “Don’t ever say that again,” he leans in and presses his lips to mine and my body aches for him. I take his hand and slide it up the thigh of my pajama pants; he stops me and pulls away. “You’re more than just a fuck to me, Melissa.” I stand and keeping my eyes locked on to his, I push him backwards in to the sofa, straddling him. I lean my body against his and I know now that I can’t stop, no matter how badly I might want more from this man I can’t live without him, without his skin against mine, his mouth on me, his cock inside me.