Or with only one other person.
A weight descended on her chest, pressing down.
She leaned against the pipe and shut her eyes, trying to breathe through the feeling. No, she wasn’t going to think of him. He was out of her life. He was gone and there was no point regretting it. She’d had those moments of happiness at least, and that was something to hold onto, wasn’t it?
“Mia?”
The sound of her name was faint in the darkness and at first she didn’t pay any attention, because whoever was calling wasn’t calling for her, she was sure of that. No one even knew she was here.
But then that same someone called again. “Mia!”
She opened her eyes, frowning. What the hell?
“Mia, where are you?”
Shifting on the cardboard underneath her, Mia leaned over, peering through the gap between the wall and the Dumpster, trying to see through the darkness. It was almost impossible to make anything out, just a tall figure moving slowly into the alley.
“Mia, I know you’re there.” A male voice. Deep. Rich. Familiar. “Tony from the shelter told me you’d be here.”
She froze, the weight sitting on her getting even heavier. Because it could not be who it sounded like. It just couldn’t.
The figure stopped right by the Dumpster and she realized he was holding something in his hand. “Mia.” His voice was quiet, hoarse. “You left your hat behind. Don’t you want it back?” She began to shake. Shake and shake and shake. She didn’t think she’d ever stop.
“Okay, so I’m not only here to return your hat. I need to talk to you. Please, sweet thing.”
All it would take would be for her to say something and he’d find her and then she’d be in his arms . . . and if he walked away from her again, she wouldn’t survive it. She just wouldn’t. The only way to protect herself was to stay here. To stay quiet and to not let him find her.
“I’ve come to say I’m sorry,” he went on thickly, addressing the night. “I’ve come to tell you I’ve been the biggest, most selfish fucking coward in the history of the world. I . . . was trying to protect you, not that it makes any sense, I know. But that’s what I told myself. I thought that being away from me would be the best thing for you. That you’d be safer without me in your life. And I didn’t even give you a chance to tell me what you wanted. I just left.” The sound of his footsteps, so close now. “But I realized that it wasn’t you I was trying to protect. It was me. I was trying to protect myself, Mia. Because . . . I love you. And I’m afraid.”
She felt crushed. Like the weight on her chest would continue pressing her down right through the concrete and out into the subway beneath her.
Love. He loved her.
“I’m afraid of hurting you, sweet thing,” he went on. “I’m afraid of not being good enough for you. But most of all, I’m afraid of losing you forever. I’m afraid I’ve screwed things up so badly you’ll hide from me, that you won’t want me, and I’ll never get to tell you how much you mean to me.”
Something rolled down her cheek, then another, and another, and this time she knew what they were because tears were something she’d gotten intimately acquainted with over the past couple of days.
He loved her. He was afraid.
But she was afraid too, and she didn’t know what to do.
“Mia.” His voice had gotten hoarser now. “Mia, please. If you’re here, say something. I don’t care about the fucking ranch. I don’t care about anything. The only thing I care about is you.”
She couldn’t breathe, the tears falling down her cheeks in an endless stream, and she knew if she wasn’t careful, they were going to freeze on her cheeks.
When has anyone ever come back for you?
Never. No one ever had.
“There’s no fucking Mia here.” It was old Petey, the other alleyway inmate, his voice almost as broken and cracked as Xavier’s. “But I’ll be her for you if you want.”
Suddenly she was moving, as if her feet had a mind of their own, shoving away the cardboard over her head and pushing away from the hot pipe at her back, slipping out from behind the Dumpster.
Xavier turned sharply, his deep blue gaze meeting hers. He wasn’t in a suit this time, wearing jeans and a tee with a heavy leather jacket over the top. Her blue beanie was in his hand.
Beautiful. So beautiful. A god of a man.
A god of a man who’d come back for her.
She opened her mouth to say something, but he was already reaching for her, already pulling her into his arms, gathering her up against his chest and holding her so tight she could hardly get a breath.