She arched, her hips shifting, encouraging him to move, and he did, unable to help it. Pulling out and sliding in, the slick squeeze of her body around his cock the most intensely erotic thing he’d ever felt in his life.
He spread his hands out on her skin, one splaying on her stomach, keeping her lifted, the other on her hip to make sure she was steady. She felt so warm.
“God. . . .” She moved again, restlessly. “I need . . . more.”
Of course she did. But he was in no hurry, he could keep doing this all night. In fact, that’s exactly what he planned on doing. Slow and leisurely, drawing it out, making her scream and beg. Making her call his name over and over again.
He shifted his hand on her stomach, easing his fingers down so he could play with her clit, stroke her in time with his thrusts, deepening her pleasure. She moaned as he did so and moved her arm, reaching behind her, reaching for something.
For a second Xavier stopped, buried deep inside her, watching as her hand moved in the air, her fingers outstretched, reaching for him. She wasn’t even looking, wasn’t turning her head. As if she fully expected him to take her hand.
She doesn’t know what you are. She doesn’t know that you’ll only hurt her in the end, because that’s what you always do. No matter how careful you are, no matter how hard you try, you always break the ones you care about.
A shudder went through him.
“Xavier,” she said, her fingers reaching for him. “Please.”
But he didn’t take her hand. He could feel something cold inside him, snaking through his veins, coiling tight as python around a tree branch, an icy self-protective feeling. As if taking her hand would be a mistake, would promise her things he would never be able to give her. Because he could give her everything she wanted, but if she wanted more . . .
“Please.” she whispered. “I . . . need you.”
He couldn’t leave her reaching for nothing. He couldn’t leave her without something to hold onto, because all her life she’d been reaching out and had found nothing but air.
Not this time.
He’d asked her to make her home with him and she’d said yes, so he put out his hand to her, felt her fingers twine with his, holding on tight. And he gripped her in return, trying to drive away the sudden ache in his chest with heat of her body, with the tide of pleasure that dragged at him, getting deeper and more intense with every thrust. He stroked her clit as he did so, piling on the pleasure, making her shudder and cry out, over and over again, until she was turning her face into the pillow, her cries muffled.
But she didn’t let go, holding onto him as he thrust harder, deeper, the sound of his flesh hitting hers loud in the room, as if he could get rid of the feeling in his heart, the tight, hot feeling that made him want to let her hand go and get out any way he could.
He closed his eyes instead, the wave of pleasure rising up inside him then descending, heavy as a falling building, flattening him completely. He only just managed to not slump over on her, listing to the side and putting out a hand to the pillow beside her head to brace himself, his chest heaving, his head ringing.
She didn’t move, her face turned to the side away from him.
He shifted, pulling out of her then collapsing beside her, reaching for her and tugging her close. She sighed, turning her head into his chest, her hair falling in silky waves against his skin.
“That was amazing,” she murmured, her breath ghosting warmly over him.
The ache in his chest deepened for no good reason. “Yeah, you could say that. You okay?”
“Oh my God, yes.” She lifted her head, her eyes even brighter than normal, looking at him as if he was some kind of hero. “You’re amazing too, you know that?”
No, you’re not.
Xavier pushed a lock of hair behind one small ear. The bright expression on her face was hard to look at, and he didn’t know what she saw, but he knew it was a lie, whatever it was. “No, sweet thing. I’m not.”
Her forehead creased. “You are. Why would you say you’re not?”
All the breath went out of him. Christ, why had he said that? Because he really didn’t want to talk to her about this. She must have picked up on his reluctance, because her gaze sharpened all of a sudden. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing.”
Her hands pressed on his chest abruptly, pushing him onto his back. “No, it’s not nothing. You got all weird on me when you thought you hurt me a few days ago. And you said it was nothing then too. But obviously, it’s something.”
Tell her. She needs to know what kind of man she’s dealing with.
Xavier made himself look into her night-dark eyes. “You know my Mom died? Well, she killed herself. Sleeping pills and vodka.”