The Billionaire's Trophy(50)

‘After the way Lilah behaved when we broke up I no longer even like her,’ Bastian countered drily. ‘But I have too much respect for her family to cut her dead in public and I see no reason to embarrass myself or her by parading our differences. If I’m happy now it’s because I have you in my life.’

‘I’d never have guessed I mattered that much to you,’ Emmie confided uncomfortably, sitting very still and unconvinced, her shoulders as rigid as her spine.

A rueful smile briefly curled Bastian’s wide sensual mouth. ‘I’m so terrified of losing you again you wouldn’t believe it.’

Emmie blinked. ‘I don’t believe it...you, terrified?’

‘Totally,’ Bastian confirmed, staring down at her from his considerable height with steady, dark, serious eyes. ‘When you went missing while I was still abroad I went crazy. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think of anything but you. And when I did get back to London I couldn’t believe that stupid note you left was all you had to say to me.’

‘I didn’t think I had anything to say to you that you had enough interest to want to hear,’ Emmie admitted uneasily. ‘I wasn’t going to hang myself out on a limb for you after you said that all we had going for us was sex.’

‘I didn’t mean that...I very much regret saying that,’ Bastian emphasised on the back of a groan. ‘But to be frank, I didn’t really appreciate what you meant to me until you vanished.’

‘Oh?’ Emmie was glued to every word falling from his lips, scarcely breathing while she listened.

Bastian leant back against one of the supporting stone pillars that held up the roof over the terrace, his gaze veiled, his lean muscular length taut with tension. ‘Then I didn’t feel anything like I should have felt for Lilah. I know that now. I shouldn’t have even considered marrying her when I felt nothing for her, but for a long time I honestly thought that that was the best way to be in a relationship.’

‘If you’re an inanimate object and not a person,’ Emmie suggested wryly.

‘I thought if there was no emotion involved I would see more clearly and choose a wife more wisely,’ Bastian confessed and then frowned, black brows lacing together. ‘And we know how well that turned out! Lilah may have wanted me mainly for my status and wealth but even she deserved better than a fiancé who couldn’t have cared less when she broke the engagement and took up with another man.’

‘But she must have known that it was more a...er practical marriage than a meeting of souls,’ Emmie commented tightly, thinking what a hypocrite she could be, for she had been wonderfully reassured by Bastian’s assurance that he didn’t even like Lilah any more and it was obvious that he could no longer see what virtues he had once assumed the other woman possessed.

‘I was never really happy with her...I didn’t stop noticing other women either,’ Bastian admitted reluctantly. ‘I didn’t do anything about it, I was faithful while I was still with her but I imagine that I would have strayed eventually.’

‘Then you weren’t right for each other.’ Emmie sighed. ‘What would have been the point of getting married?’

‘Exactly,’ Bastian agreed, shooting her a smouldering smile. ‘I’m so different with you. I don’t like other men looking at you and I certainly have no desire to look at other women. I can’t stand not knowing where you are and what you’re doing. I want to be sure you’ll answer your phone when I call. I want to know you’re living in my home and that you’ll raise our children there with me. I also want to know that you’re truly mine.’

‘Yours?’ Emmie questioned. ‘In what way do you want me to be yours?’

‘In the most basic way that a man and a woman can belong to each other,’ Bastian retorted, digging into his pocket to produce something, which he extended.

Emmie blinked at the spectacle of the huge diamond solitaire ring that he was offering her. ‘Er...what’s this?’

‘You’re bright enough to work it out,’ Bastian teased. ‘But it’s going to be the shortest engagement on record because I intend to add a wedding ring to your finger as soon as possible.’

Emmie stiffened, facial muscles setting tight. ‘I don’t want you to feel you have to marry me because it’s what your family expect of you,’ she told him squarely.

‘I knew they’d stick their oar in if they could but this has nothing to do with my family. This,’ Bastian declared, lifting her slender hand to thread the diamond ring onto her engagement finger, ‘is all about me and you and how I feel about you. I can’t stand you being away from me.’