The Billionaire's Secret Baby(6)

"Do I? Is there a possibility of love again? I don't think that's true for everyone. I think some people are just lucky," she told him softly, her eyes locked on his as they danced slowly.



He frowned a little. "Well, of course, it's possible. Everything is possible. You never know who you... might meet..." he said with unintentional hesitation. He meant it to sound as though she could meet someone who could love her, but there he stood, holding her and dancing with her in the moonlight, while her perfume intoxicated him and it felt like he was saying she might meet him. He mentally bashed himself for the way it had sounded coming out.



"What about you?" she asked, her eyes on him still, looking at him deeply.



He knew it. He'd said it wrong. He'd fouled it up and now she was confused about what he meant. "I... didn't mean me... I meant you might meet-"



She looked at him in confusion as he spoke and then she laughed at him. "No, no... I meant what about you finding love. You said everything is possible, so I was asking what about you? Have you found love?" She smiled at him and watched him as he closed his eyes in understanding and a little embarrassment.



He laughed a little, and said, "Oh... sorry." He turned her in a wide circle under his arm and drew her back to him again, holding her as close as he had been. "I thought I'd found love. Real love. I thought I had found passion and a partner for the rest of my life."



Cami looked at him with a furrowed brow. "What happened? Did you get divorced?"



Roman shook his head. "No... no, we're not divorced. We're still married. At least on paper."



She looked a little sad for him. "Is the love still there?"



He took a deep breath and shook his head, pursing his lips for a minute. "No. No, I don't think it is."



"Maybe you just need to find it again,” she offered generously.



He looked away from her as shame clutched at him, but there in the dark cold night, in the warmth of her arms, he felt safe; he felt as though he could trust this new friend he had made.



"I have tried, but she's just not interested in it. She doesn't even share the same room with me, or the same bed. We haven't made love in a long, long time. It's just not there anymore." His voice was quiet and the music held them close.



Cami watched him with sympathetic eyes and a heart that hurt for the loneliness she saw hidden away in him. "How long has it been?" she asked him.



He sighed and looked away from her again. "Oh, I guess it's been about two and a half years. Maybe three... yeah, three years."



She stared at him and stopped dancing, leaving her arms at his side. "You haven't made love with her in three years? Do you have a lover on the side?"



He shook his head. "Oh God no, of course not. No. It's just she and I."



Cami felt her heart ache for her new friend, and her eyes filled up with tears for him. "That is so awful! How could anyone be in such a close relationship and not be loved? Not be touched and held? How horrible to feel so alone when you are bound to someone who should love you more than anyone else in the world!" She shook her head as he watched her, and he realized that the words she had spoken were the truth that had darkened his heart for so long.



He was alone, completely alone, because he had no one to go to; no one because he was married to a woman who was absent from his heart and his bed. It was one of the worst things he'd ever heard or felt, and he stared at Cami in a near horror.



She shook her head and threw her arms around him, holding him tightly in an embrace, pressing herself as closely to him as possible.



At first he didn't know quite what to do; he was taken aback by her suddenness, but then she held on, and on, and on. His worries about what she was doing and why she was doing it, began to drift away and after a while, he was just there in her embrace, and he let himself feel it, let himself be wrapped up in it, and let himself feel the warmth of physical affection from another human.



His arms closed tightly around her and he held her in return. It almost broke his heart.

He realized it had been ages since he had been held and hugged by someone who cared about him. So long since anyone had held him so close. And it had been just as long since he had been able to hold anyone else and share affection. He felt hot tears roll down his cheeks as his body trembled in her arms.



She began to cry silently with him, holding him tightly as he let go of years of pain and loneliness. After a long while, just embracing each other and letting it all out, he loosened his arms from around her just a little, and whispered in her ear, "You don't have to keep holding me if you want to let go."



Cami smiled and whispered back, "My grandma taught me to never be the one to let go first, because you never know how much the other person needs to be hugged."



He held her closer to him and kissed her cheek by her ear. "Thank you," he said softly.



Then he let a little laugh escape him. "You know, if everyone hugged like that, no one would ever let go."



"Wouldn't that be a beautiful world,” she said with a smile, and kissed his cheek in return. Her breath and her lips were warm on his skin and he closed his eyes, feeling all her kindness and comfort, breathing her sweet scent in and finding himself whole in the soft feel of her body against his. He truly could not remember the last time he had felt so close to anyone. He turned his head slightly and pressed his lips softly to her cheek, and in that gentle kiss, he tasted her tears. His breath grew shallow and his heart began to pound in his chest.



"Why are you crying?" he asked quietly, his words touching her skin.



She whispered back to him, her words on his cheek, "My heart hurt at finding someone so lonely." She closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his skin, slowly and softly. "How long has it been since anyone held you? Just... held you?" she whispered, moving her mouth across his jaw, nearer to his mouth.



He closed his eyes. "I can't remember," he answered her, kissing her cheek as their lips neared one another. Just as they were about to taste each other, just as their lips were about to meet, the music stopped, and the sound of the ocean hushed their pounding hearts. The cold wind swirled around them as their warm breath mingled together on each other's lips.



Roman struggled against the current and with tremendous difficulty, he pulled his head away, taking a step back and looking down at her. "I'm so sorry..." he whispered, staring at her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."



Cami shook her head and lifted the corners of her mouth in a gentle smile for him. "No! Please don't apologize. We haven't done anything at all; we haven't done anything wrong. I just held you, that was all. And you held me back, and that's something that friends do. It's okay; there's no need to apologize. Please don't say you're sorry, unless you really, truly are."



He stared at her, standing there before him, her eyes kind, her heart wide open, loving, forgiving, helping, generous beyond measure, and he knew he didn't regret it at all. He hadn't felt cared for in ages, and he hadn't realized it until she had held him, as though he had been starved for affection for so long he didn't even know it when it was soaked into him, like a monsoon rain on a parched desert. He covered his mouth with his hands and smiled beneath his fingers, then let his fingers fall away from his face.



"I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry one bit." He reached for her and pulled her into another embrace. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you so much." Then he let her go and stepped away from her. She smiled through a tear at him and held his hand.



Roman lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers warmly with firm lips, and then he let her hand go. "I need to get to bed. Have a good night, beautiful Cami, and thank you so much." He shook his head at her. "You're an amazing woman." He turned and walked away from her, and as she watched his back disappear through the door to his room, she felt a piece of her heart go with him.



Roman showered and went to bed, his heart and his thoughts on nothing but Cami. When he finally fell asleep, he slept better than he had in years. Cami went to bed feeling sorry for him, wondering what kind of wife wouldn't want to be with him every single night. She knew in her heart that she had found a friend she wanted to keep.



The sun pulled them both out of bed, and each of them was showered and dressed, and out exploring the ship, both of them looking for the other one, neither one of them wanting to admit it to the other.



Allen found Roman before Cami did. He pulled Roman down to a deck chair beside him and covered his face and his sunglasses with his hand. "I made a huge mistake," he groaned.



Roman's mind shifted toward Allen and he looked at him through narrowed eyes. "I told you to be careful with Colette."



Allen nodded. "I know."



"What happened, did you fall for her?" Roman asked, with an air of disappointment.





"Not exactly." Allen looked left and then right, making sure no one was around them. "We were in the hot tub together and she was drinking a lot and I wasn't. She was talking about how she could never find good love and we were listening to the musicians play last night, and I don't know what came over me, but I just grabbed her and kissed her. Right out of the blue. She just went nuts and started kissing me back... and then we made out... and then she took me to her room and I woke up tangled in her sheets. She didn't want to let me go last night."