Her smile turned sad. “I’m not sure that’s a promise you can keep.”
“Watch me.” Hurting her was the last thing he’d ever do. He’d rather take the pain himself than ever see it inflicted on her.
She took a long drink of beer before saying softly, “Your turn.”
He blinked. “What?”
“You said if I wanted to hear the end of your story, I had to share mine. It’s a trade I was finally ready to make.” She gave him a tentative smile. “Are you?”
The invisible vise around his chest squeezed a little tighter.
This was too much. Too serious. This wasn’t sex and pleasure. It was forming a connection, and it terrified him more than facing down his toughest competition in the boardroom.
Avery watched him with bright eyes. There was no missing the hope in her expression. The trust that he’d keep his word. That he wouldn’t dishonor her confessions by withholding his own.
The idea of speaking of the death of his relationship sickened him. He didn’t want to admit the fool he’d been. Didn’t want her to see the failure he’d once made of his life. It was beyond embarrassing. It was humiliating, shaming in a way nothing had ever been before or since.
It would change what she thought of him. How could it not, when Sophia had changed the way he thought of himself? Ever since those years, he’d been a little less. A little smaller. And he didn’t want Avery to think the same.
“Hayden,” she said, reclaiming his attention.
He opened his mouth, but there were no words to say.
“Please.”
The word hit him like an arrow. In that moment, he had no choice. She’d revealed a piece of herself tonight, he could do no less.
Even if it meant losing something he’d only just discovered he needed like he needed air.
…
Avery couldn’t tear her gaze from her lover. Chills ran through her body. Her pulse raced. Telling him about Jon had been the toughest thing she’d done in years. Even now it was hard to shake the fear that her confession had made him think less of her. Would he look at her differently now? She hadn’t been able to hold the attention of a man who’d vowed to spend the rest of his life with her. What chance did she have of holding Hayden’s? A man who had sailed the Mediterranean with models and walked red carpets with actresses. He was so far out of her league it hurt to think about.
But during dinner she’d come to a very simple realization.
She was tired of being damaged. Jon had taken something vital from her, and she’d spent the past two years trying to get it back.
The closest she’d ever come had been with Hayden. He made her remember who she’d been before she was a wife. Before she was divorced. Being with him was helping her think about all the possible futures she could have. If she let her fears and recriminations ruin what they had started, she might regret it forever.
Maybe this was yet another mistake. Maybe she’d once again be hurt beyond bearing. But living meant facing risks head on, and she was pretty sure Hayden was one worth taking.
“Hayden,” she said. “Please.”
Something shifted in his face. It was hard to tell in the near darkness, but his eyes seemed to fill with a desolate resignation.
She wrapped her arms around herself. Was she asking too much? Just because she’d been ready to face her past didn’t mean he was.
Another fear unfurled within her. Maybe this really was all about sex to him. Maybe the connection she’d felt building was all one sided.
He didn’t need to confide in her to sleep with her. Perhaps he thought this was too steep a price to pay for a little pleasure.
Her eyes dropped to the porch floor. Not all gambles paid off. She’d learned that the hard way.
Her grip tightened on her beer as she wondered if she should retreat. Go back into the cabin and hide in her room until morning chased away the illusion of intimacy the darkness had created.
“I let her take over my company,” Hayden said.
Her head snapped up, part of her unable to believe he was speaking.
“It was small things at first. I was eighteen and granted the reins of a kingdom. We had a board, of course, and I had advisors, but it was my name on the hotels. I had decisions to make that I wasn’t ready for.” He ran a hand over his face. “Sophia had experience in the business world. She made it so easy to give her a few responsibilities here and there. It always seemed like she was doing me a favor. Helping me shoulder my new duties. I was grateful to her.”
He shook his head. “Over the years, she became more of the acting CEO than I was. I was her puppet, her figurehead, and she did everything in her power to keep me distracted. Exotic vacations, expensive shopping trips. We lived in luxury. My money was hers. My home hers. Anything she asked for, I gave.”