She nodded. “I’ve been running from a few things.”
“I hadn’t noticed.”
She tossed him a sardonic smile. “I want to stop doing that.”
He swallowed. This was what he wanted. For her to trust him, yield to him.
But throughout dinner they’d barely spoken, both lost in their own thoughts. While his mind was telling him to pull back, hers was obviously finally ready to move forward.
What do I do?
It wasn’t a question he was used to asking. Indecision had no place in his life. Not in business, not in pleasure.
With Avery, however, nothing was certain.
“Two and a half years ago I found a pair of black panties in the pocket of my husband’s jacket.”
He closed his eyes, her words making his decision.
“They weren’t yours.”
“Nope.” She took a deep sip of beer.
“He cheated.”
In the moonlight, he could see a parody of a smile twist her lips. “You know the most pathetic part? I actually tried to find a way to forgive him. I thought, everyone makes mistakes. It was just one slip. Was I going to throw away years of my life over one error? Weren’t we strong enough to move past it?”
“You’re loyal to those you love,” he said, absolving her.
“I might have stayed. Unfortunately for Jon, he’d picked a lover not willing to be his silent side piece. Turns out it wasn’t one time. It wasn’t even one woman.” She swallowed. “I’m not sure he’d ever been faithful, even before we married.”
He hissed a breath, anger churning within him. How the hell could anyone have Avery and want more? If he could win her, he’d never look at another woman while they were together. He’d suspected Jon was an idiot, but this went beyond his expectations.
“When I confronted him about it, Jon tried to explain the stress of his work required more of a release then I could provide. He blamed the nights I didn’t want to screw him because I was too tired. Said if I had given up my job and focused on him, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Bastard.”
She closed her eyes. “Yeah. But somewhere along the way, I think I internalized what he was saying. Started doubting I was enough. Started wondering if I was partly to blame.”
“Bullshit. His ridiculous choices have nothing to do with you.”
She turned his way then. “He was my Prince Charming, and the end of the fairytale hurt more than you can imagine.” A sad laugh escaped her. “One of my friends actually counseled me to just suck it up and stay with him. Who cared if I had a cheating husband when he came with a large bank account, right?”
“If money could win your heart, you would have ended up in my bed a hell of a lot sooner,” he said with utter certainty.
“Money’s not worth the mockery he made of my life.”
His heart hurt for her.
“After that, it’s pretty much the same old story. My friends were his friends. My in-laws, his relatives. I was leaving my entire life behind.”
“You have your parents. And Karen.”
She nodded. “But wounds don’t heal without scars.”
Ones that could ache for years.
“I was drifting through my life,” she said, her eyes on his. “Work was my only priority, and my business flourished.”
“You’re not drifting anymore,” he said.
“No,” she agreed. “Because of you.”
The air froze in his lungs. Emotions surged through him so hard and fast he could barely name them—a pinnacle of sheer joy followed by crushing panic and confusion. His heart thundered in his ears as he tried to push back the wave of anxiety that threatened to engulf him.
“That night I looked across the ballroom and you were staring back at me. I met Jon in university. Hadn’t slept with any other man since. Even before my relationship I’d never liked one-night stands. But you were like breathing for the first time in years. And when you touched me…” Her voice trailed away. “There was no going back after that.”
“Is that good or bad?” he asked.
“I’m still trying to figure that out,” she said. “All I knew is that I didn’t want to see you again. You were a lightning strike to my life, and I didn’t need another.”
“Good thing I followed you across the ocean, then.”
A far softer smile curled her lips. “I didn’t want to want you.”
“I sympathize entirely.”
“And I don’t want to go through that hell again.”
His throat squeezed. “You think I’ll hurt you.”
“Yes.”
The word was quiet, but there was no escaping its importance. “Never.”