Maybe it is. In Hayden’s arms, she had a hard time remembering anyone else. Had her heart blossomed like this before? Had time stood still the way it did now?
Avery jerked back, her eyes flaring wide.
“What?” he said, his voice low with desire. “What’s wrong?”
“I just…” Her voice trailed off as Hayden waited for an answer.
Sorry, I liked that more than I should, and it’s freaking me out.
Not quite the suave explanation she wished she could give.
“We’re losing the light,” she said instead. “I don’t want to have to retrace our steps in the dark.”
The expression on his face said clearly he didn’t believe her weak words but he examined the sky.
“All right, let’s start back. We should whip up something to eat. I make a mean sandwich.”
“Yeah,” she said, grateful he was giving her an out. “I’m hungry.”
His blue eyes darkened. “So am I,” he said, and she knew they weren’t talking about the same sort of hunger.
Clearing her throat, she stepped back. “Let’s go.”
He turned to lead the way back from the cliffs, not reaching for her hand. Avery took one last look at the darkening ocean before following him along the trail, telling herself she wasn’t missing his touch.
Too much about Hayden confused her, made her forget about common sense and logic, the things that had kept her walking these past two years.
But watching his back, she wondered if maybe Karen had a point. Were her efforts to protect herself costing her real experiences she should be reveling in? Any other woman would have leaped at Hayden’s offer. To have a man like him worship her for a week or two was a fantasy anyone would want to have played out.
Was it her damage holding her back?
The thought was unpleasant. She wanted to believe she was whole, that Jon hadn’t left his mark on her permanently. But if it was true, would she still hold Hayden at bay?
Or would she chase him with everything she had?
Her throat tightened. Once she’d been that woman. Someone courageous and strong who hadn’t hesitated to fight for what she wanted. She’d lost that part of herself somewhere within her marriage without even realizing it.
Watching Hayden walk away from her, her lips still tingling from his kiss, made her realize how much she missed that fearless side.
Then what are you waiting for? Take what you want.
Sex with Hayden wouldn’t be simple. It would tie them more closely together than they already were. It would push her closer to a precipice where she was already dancing on the edge.
It had the potential to turn her feelings for him into something deeper. Something that would do more than hurt if it ended.
If you don’t try, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. She’d regret not taking a chance on Hayden. Regret not trying to find that piece of herself that took what she wanted.
Regret not reclaiming the strength that had once defined her.
Tonight is my chance. If she was going to decide, this was the place to do it.
Did she stay protected in her safe little world?
Or did she take what she wanted and damn the consequences?
Chapter Thirteen
Hayden leaned against the edge of the porch, a beer bottle hanging from his fingers. He stared out at the dark forest, lit only by the full moon overhead. From inside he could hear Avery clearing up what remained of the dinner he’d made. Their rather silent dinner.
The current setting hadn’t allowed for the five-star fare they’d been used to at the hotel. Instead they’d traded fillet mignon for ham sandwiches and expensive wine for cheap beer. He found he hadn’t minded at all because it wasn’t the food that mattered, but the company.
He’d be happy with Avery no matter where they were.
That knowledge sent a chill down his spine. He couldn’t allow her to become someone he needed. Counting on others just made it hurt more when they left.
He heard the screen door open and close. She hadn’t turned on the porch light, gliding through the darkness like a ghost to lean against wooden beam opposite him. Staring out at the night, she raised her own beer to her lips and took a sip.
He eyed her movements. Everything she did was elegant and graceful. She had no idea, of course, but he loved to watch the way she moved, be it walking across the dance floor toward him or arching under him with her lips parted on a cry of pleasure. The more time he spent with her, the deeper his need ran. She was an addiction he had to kick.
Even if he craved her like a drowning man craved salvation.
“I made a decision,” she said, not looking at him.
“Oh?” He rotated to lean his back against the wood so he could face her.