The Billionaire's Marriage Contract(32)

“I’m afraid so,” Hank called back. “We could always leave you to the wolves. Or that husband of yours could just carry you back.”

“Maybe I should take my chances with the wolves,” Amy said.

As soon as Ethan and Amy had caught up with Hank, he started the conversation back up. "So Amy, how was your ride with Logan yesterday?"

"It was good. He seems like a great guy."

"He gets that from his mother's side," Hank said.

"Oh, don't be modest," Ethan replied. "Last time I was here, he said how much you've shaped his values over the years. He's lucky to have you."

"My only regret is that we weren't able to have more children. Everything, all of my success in life pales in comparison to my family.” Hank paused for a moment. The midday sun shone brightly on his deeply tanned face, and Amy though for a moment that the wrinkles and lines across his face must form a kind of map of his experiences, each one the result of some adventure or worry. She imagined the wrinkles on his forehead were from too many nights spent poring over the details of his business, and the deeply tanned, almost leathery look of his skin was from his years of living life on his own terms. Amy was so focused on his features that she barely heard him say, “I know it's none of my business, but are you two thinking of having children?"

Before she could process the question, Amy heard Ethan say, "We've talked about it." She turned to look at him. Suddenly, his face didn’t seem quite so tan, and his smooth features seemed to show a man who was free of cares. She wondered what Ethan would look like at seventy. Would his face show the character of his years? Would she even know him then, or would they part ways as soon as this deal was done? She felt a rush of an unidentified emotion as she thought it through. It wasn’t love, and it wasn’t sadness that she felt; it was something else, an almost wistful hope that somehow she could find the satisfaction in life that Hank seemed to have. She wondered if she’d ever find that with someone like Ethan.

Then she realized Ethan and Hank were waiting for some kind of response from her. “I had never given it much thought,” she said. “I had always promised myself that I wouldn’t have kids unless I knew I could give them the time and attention they deserved. Call me a cynic, but until things got serious with Ethan, I didn’t know if I’d ever meet a man I’d want to have kids with. I’ve just seen too many broken marriages and parents who would rather stare at a spreadsheet than spend time with their kids.”

"I see," Hank said.

Amy realized that she might have said something wrong, but at the same time, she knew that most of what she had said was true. Working with powerful men had shown her what terrible fathers they tended to be. From the little she had hear from Logan on the ride up to the house, and from the little she had learned from Hank, she thought that Hank was one of the good ones, one of the exceptions that proved the rule. She wondered what kind of father Ethan would make. It seemed like an insane idea: Ethan Cole, a father. Then again, it was no stranger than Ethan Cole, husband.

After another silence, Ethan cleared his throat and said, “Now you can see why I just hope that they will take after their mother."

"I think you'll both do just fine." Hank took a deep breath as he turned to admire the view. "Just remember to appreciate the journey. And if you do have children, and you get to see them grow into adulthood, you’ll find that the things you admire most about them are the things you wouldn’t have anticipated at all. Someday, you might find yourself wondering how you can make them proud of you.”

“I’m sure you’ve never had that problem,” Ethan said.

“I like to think that Logan respects what I do, but I don’t really think that means he’s proud. My wife was proud of my private life, but I think my business she could have taken or left. She liked to think that I ran my business in a more responsible fashion than someone else would have. I’d like to make sure that that continues to be true as I hand it off.”

Amy gave Ethan a look. She didn't want to lie to Hank any more than she already had, and lying about wanting kids together just seemed terrible. She wanted to know why this particular lie felt so wrong. It couldn’t just be that she felt bad for misleading Hank. He was a rich man who wanted to believe certain things about another rich man. She was simply helping him make a good choice, but thinking about it made her feel terrible again.

“So your wife is the reason why you have preserved all of this land?"