After a half hour she picked up the phone.
"Can you meet me?"
"Where?"
Cassie didn't need an explanation. The emotion in Kinsey's voice was all it took for her to drop whatever she was doing and agree to meet. Kinsey named a park about halfway between them, then put on her coat and walked out the door. She wiped her tears as she climbed behind the wheel of her car and went on autopilot as she drove across town.
She arrived first and sat down on a bench, the tests once again clutched in her hand.
Cassie joined her a few minutes later, sitting down without saying a word. Kinsey handed her the three tests, and Cassie looked at them, then at Kinsey's face with worried eyes.
"How are you feeling? Are we happy? Upset? Relieved? What should I be doing right now, because I can't tell," Cassie finally said.
"I'm … confused. I thought … I thought this is what I wanted, but as I took test after test, I found myself … sad," Kinsey said as a few tears fell.
"I understand, Kinsey. You've thought for a couple months that a baby could be growing inside you. Your child. Now that you know you're not pregnant, it's like losing that child you've come to expect. It's devastating," Cassie reassured her.
"But … I'm not married. I have no reason to be upset. I should be jumping up and down with joy. I know after I have time to think about it, I'll realize that. I just … I don't even know," Kinsey said with confusion.
"Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this happened so you'd know how you really feel. Maybe you don't want to be as independent as you've been telling yourself. Have you thought about the fact that it wasn't just your baby you were learning to care about – but also Austin's."
"There is no baby, Cass," Kinsey said, as if she needed to say it again.
"What's going on with you and Austin?"
"I don't know. We had a small fight the night of my attack, then he stayed the night with me. But in the morning he was gone. He walked away and hasn't been back," Kinsey said in a choked sob, pain seeping inside her. She should call, but she had too much pride. She figured she'd told him no one too many times, and he'd decided to listen.
"Oh my gosh, you're in love with him, aren't you," Cassie gasped.
"Yes," Kinsey admitted. There was no point in lying to her best friend.
"Then you need to go to him. Let him help you through this, hold you until the tears dry. Don't be so afraid of being hurt that you actually hurt yourself more," she said as she took Kinsey's hand in hers.
"It was a game, Cass. That's all. I ran away, probably the first girl to ever do so to him. Then he chased me. We had amazing, oh-my-gosh, sex, he restored his manhood, and now he's gone," Kinsey said, feeling like a fool.
"I think you may be underestimating him. Give him a chance. If you do, I think you could find more happiness than you ever imagined before. If there's one thing I've learned from listening to Joseph and Katherine's love story, it's that time is too precious to waste."
"I don't know, Cass. I just need to think. My emotions are all over the place right now, and I don't want to do anything I'm going to regret later."
"Maybe the two of you just need a little helpful nudging," Cass threatened.
"Cassie, don't you dare interfere, do you hear me? I swear on our pinkie swear oath in grade school, that I'll hunt you down," Kinsey said, her eyes narrowing.
"Kinsey … "
"You promise me right now, Cass," Kinsey demanded.
"I just want you to be happy. You know I love you," Cassie hedged.
"Cassandra, you better promise me," Kinsey threatened.
"Fine," Cassie snapped, her eyes narrowing.
It wasn't until Kinsey was on her way back home that she realized Cassie hadn't promised. Her stomach turned over with nerves. Cass wouldn't do anything. It was always friendship first, men second. Her day had been exhausting and she just couldn't think about it any longer, so she pushed it from her mind.
She pulled into her apartment complex and walked to her unit. She shut the door and looked around, feeling more alone than she ever had before.
Joseph was better now and didn't need a nurse at home. As she'd left the mansion, she'd had to fight back tears, knowing she'd miss the bustle always going on in the large place. She'd grown attached being there, loving her time of taking care of him. She was very happy he was better, though.
She looked at her calendar and realized it was George's wedding night with Esther. Of course she'd been invited, but she couldn't go, not when she was crying every ten minutes. Seeing Austin and not being able to talk to him would be too much.