"For you, it's easy, Austin. You see what you want and you go for it, no questions asked. I'm not that way. I'm honestly not that girl from the wedding. I don't know why I did what I did that night. I don't know why I've continued to lose control with you since, but that's not me. This is me, right here, right now. I'm not exciting and glamorous. I'm not a jump in the nearest closet kind of girl. As soon as the chase is over, you'll lose interest. The girl you keep chasing, the fling you're wanting isn't real," she said, her voice hoarse from what he was sure was unshed tears.
"You know what? I think you're lying. I think you're lying to yourself and to me. You say none of this has been real?" he questioned.
While looking into her eyes, he placed his hand over her stomach, causing her to gasp. Good. He wanted to shake her up, not much, just a little.
"This is as real as it gets. You might be carrying my child, Kinsey. The sex didn't happen in a dream, or my imagination. The explosion between us, every time we're within five miles of each other, isn't fake. You can try and build your walls, that's fine, but don't you dare insult me. Don't you dare tell me it's all been nothing but a dream."
He knew he was on the edge of a cliff, barely holding on. He also knew he shouldn't take out his anger on her, but he was mad, mad at just about everything right then.
He leaned back as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"Okay."
"What?" Austin looked up as she whispered the word.
"I'm tired, so tired of everything. I don't want to fight any more tonight. I don't want to think. I just want you to hold me," she whispered, fear present in her eyes.
He didn't say anything else, just took off his jacket and climbed in next to her. As he pulled her into his arms, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders.
He woke up in the early dawn hours and slipped from the room. They both needed to figure out what they wanted, but he wasn't going to push her anymore. He'd made his intentions clear; now the ball was in her court.
When Kinsey woke in the morning, Austin was gone, leaving her heart aching, though she tried telling herself it was for the best. Still, she couldn't stop the tears from falling at the sudden loneliness consuming her.
While she was trying to eat her breakfast a couple hours later, a knock sounded on her door, making her eagerly look up.
Instead of Austin, several people silently stepped inside the room with big grins on their faces, all carrying huge bouquets of flowers and balloons. By the time they were finished, her room looked like a florist shop.
One of the people handed her a card, then they left as quickly as they'd come. With shaking fingers, she opened the envelope and pulled out the note.
I'm sorry you were hurt. Get better soon.
Austin
That was it? She flipped the card around, looking to see if anything else was on the other side. Nothing.
She didn't know what to think. He was sending her massive amounts of flowers, but he was gone, and his note was so impersonal. Was he saying goodbye?
Kinsey lay back down and cried herself to sleep, still no closer to finding any answers.
Chapter Nineteen
"You should still be resting, not coming back to work so soon," Katherine scolded Kinsey two days later when she walked in the room to check on Joseph.
"I know this sounds silly, so please bear with me, but I've missed him. I've grown quite attached to Joseph, and being away the last couple of days, I felt … I don't know … just - off," Kinsey said with a shrug.
She checked his charts, reassuring herself the temp nurse had done her job well, and then she sat down beside Katherine.
"That I can understand," Katherine said, immediately softening. "Joseph has a way of casting a spell on everyone around him, even when he's sleeping."
Kinsey had missed being there. She hadn't wanted to leave Joseph in the care of anyone else. She'd been with him from the beginning, and she'd see it through to the end. She just hoped and prayed the end was him waking up.
"Go ahead and get comfortable. The rest of the family will be here any minute. They're anxiously awaiting the conclusion of our story," Katherine offered.
Kinsey felt like an intruder during the story, but she couldn't bring herself to leave. She wanted to know what made a couple stay together for so many years. She was captivated by Katherine's voice as she spoke of her love.
Soon, the room crowded with Joseph's children, nieces and nephews, even some of the grandchildren and great nieces and nephews. The large space felt as if it quickly shrank, with the amount of people in it.
Kinsey waited to see Austin walk in, but he was absent. She refused to allow herself to watch the door, instead focusing on Katherine as she got comfortable in the chair next to her husband's bed.