She managed to maintain her composure the rest of the night. She could go curl up in bed and think about what she was going to do about her future really soon. She knew she couldn't stay in the marriage if Alex didn't want to be a real family but she didn't want to think about it.
"We need to have another girl day, how about Friday?" Amy asked.
"That sounds great," Jessica said before hugging her goodbye. She was almost sad to see the rest of the guests go but at the same time she really needed to be alone for a while.
"I have some work to finish up. I'll be up later," Alex said before quickly turning and heading to his office.
Jessica climbed the stairs to their room and curled up in bed, where she cried herself to sleep. Alex must've stayed in the office far later than normal because he wasn't there when she finally managed to fall into an exhausted sleep.
The next month passed by with more and more heartache for Jessica. Alex was home more often than not but if Jacob wasn't there as a buffer between them he would lock himself up in his office.
They did a lot of family activities together but he seemed to make sure they were never alone otherwise. They still made love in the night but even that had changed. It was still amazing and he was still a fantastic lover but he no longer held her tightly afterwards.
She knew she was going to have to confront him but she also knew how the conversation would go.
"I thought we could go out on the lake this weekend, if you'd like," Alex asked her at dinner one night.
"That sounds great," Jessica said with enthusiasm.
"I think Jacob will like the boat. There's nothing like the wind blowing through your hair as you navigate the water."
"Well, your son doesn't have much hair," she smiled at him.
"That's very true. The sun will be good for all of us. It's supposed to be a really nice weekend and those are few and far between," he said with a genuine smile.
She hated she responded to him so quickly when he gave her the least bit of himself.
The weekend came and Jacob had a cold so they went out on the boat alone. She was afraid he would cancel but he was in a good mood so they left the house early in the morning.
"I thought we'd do some crabbing while we're out," he said.
"That sounds great. Amy said she and Lucas did that a couple weeks ago and had a good time."
"Yeah, I got the idea from Lucas. He enjoyed himself," he told her.
The drive to the coast was gorgeous and they talked more than they had in months. For the first time in too long to remember Jessica was feeling some hope.
They arrived at the marina and boarded the boat and she was having a great time. Once the temperature warmed up, she stripped down to her bikini and lay out on the deck. The hot sun and cool breeze felt phenomenal against her skin. Her worries seemed to float away on the gentle breeze.
It was taking every bit of Alex's will power not to find a secluded cove to park the boat and ravish his wife. She had no idea the power she held over him.
As he steered the boat further into the water, his eyes were continually drawn back to Jessica, lying out there on the deck, just a few short feet away from him.
Since the night she'd told him she loved him he'd backed off dramatically. He knew he was hurting her but he also knew she would be better off in the long run if he gave her some space. She needed to realize she wasn't in love with him. He knew she was more in love with the idea of love and marriage than the actual reality of it.
His dad had freaked him out when he'd brought up having more children. What scared him the most was how much he wanted her to become pregnant again. He could visualize a bunch of miniature Jessica's running through the house. He couldn't figure out what he was doing anymore.
"It's so warm out here," Jessica said, while turning towards him suddenly. "Can we stop somewhere so I can take a swim?" she asked.
"I can see a cove over here," he said and steered the boat towards the secluded beach. He was clenching his teeth because everything in him told him he needed to head back towards the docks.
"Oh, it's so perfect," she gasped at the little piece of heaven of a beach. As soon as he got the anchor down on the boat she dove into the water. He was impressed with her form. He was feeling way to hot himself so he stripped down and jumped in after her.
They both swam around in a comfortable silence for a while, when suddenly she cried out. Alex immediately swam towards her and sucked in his breath as he noticed blood coming to the surface of the water.
"What happened? What's wrong?" he fired off at her, while at the same time he was pulling her close and leading her back to the boat.
"I don't know," she cried out. "It's my leg. I think I cut it on something," she whimpered.
Alex couldn't see anything, so he towed her back to the boat, praying it was nothing to bad. He lifted her up into his arms and climbed aboard.
He laid her gently down and then went and got the first aid kit. When he returned, he was shocked by the amount of blood.
"It looks worse than it is," she finally said. "I was looking at it and it looks like I scratched it on a rock or something. It just seems to be bleeding a lot. If you clean it out and wrap it I'll be fine."
"First take this Advil, then I'll start cleaning and assess for myself how bad it is," he said in his commanding voice.
Even though Jessica was hurting, she had to smile at the command in his voice. She loved it when he got all determined and acted like the world should bow to his feet.
She flinched when he cleaned the wound with the alcohol but she was right, it wasn't as bad as he thought it was. He was surprised by the amount of blood that had escaped the small wound.
The Advil kicked in and the pain subsided greatly once the wound was cleaned up. "I'm fine now," she reassured him.
"We can head on home," he offered.
"I'm fine. As a matter of fact I'm feeling very hungry," she said. She really didn't want to head back to the house right away, knowing he would disappear into his office.
He couldn't handle being all alone with her any longer, so he headed the boat back towards the shore and placed a call to his brother. If they had company for dinner, he wouldn't have to try and answer the questions he saw coming from her eyes.
"Jessica wake up, we are back at the docks. I called Lucas and he and Amy are going to meet us in a half hour at this great seafood place," Alex said while gently shaking Jessica awake.
"What?" she stuttered, struggling to wake up. "I'm so sorry; I didn't even realize I was so tired. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you," she said when she finally woke up fully.
"Hey, no problem. I really enjoy the water and having the soothing silence," he responded before securing the boat.
Jessica felt a little bit like she'd been slapped. She felt he was basically telling her he'd enjoyed his day much more because she wasn't there to talk in his ear. Well fine, she thought, if he wanted silence, then silence would be what he got.
She quickly got dressed and limped up the dock with him toward their car. She kept silent the entire ride to the restaurant and he said nothing as well. Jessica was wishing to get home so the awkward afternoon could end.
"Jessica, I'm so glad you guys called," Amy came walking up and put her arm through Jessica's, while chattering away. "It's so nice to get out of the house for some adult conversation. Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids but they do lack certain communication skills," she finished with a laugh.
"I don't know. I think Jasmine communicates very well and for that matter, Isaiah has no trouble at all letting everyone around him know when something isn't going his way," Jessica joked right back.
"You have that right," Lucas added.
"I guess I'm the only one with a perfect child," Alex said.
"Ha," everyone else said in unison, which brought on more good natured laughter.
"Okay, kids can be quite demanding when they want something but even though I didn't know I would love fatherhood so much I seriously couldn't imagine my life without Jacob in it. He's just so amazing," Alex said in awe.
"Agreed little bro," Lucas said.
"This is a grown up night. No more talk of our kids. I get one glass of wine and anything at all I want to eat. If it causes problems with Isaiah's tummy later, well that's okay because it's daddy's turn to get up with him," Amy said with a wicked smile.
"You deserve whatever you want Babe," Lucas said.
The evening progressed and Jessica relaxed. She absolutely loved Lucas and Amy and it helped to mask the tension between her and Alex. She knew at some point they were going to have to face things but she got so tired of being stressed all the time. It was nice to have a worry free evening.