"I know how quickly time flies. I can't believe Jacob is almost a year old. I want to go back to the beginning, though the full nights rest part is pretty nice," she added.
"I think I would be happy having about ten more kids. Don't look at me so horrified. I love being a mother and Lucas is about the best husband in the world. Plus, I think Joseph would think he'd died and gone to heaven having that many grandkids surrounding him. I really love this family so much," she gushed.
Jessica sat for a few moments without saying anything. She wanted more kids so badly but if things didn't change with her husband she didn't see that happening. He was content just having Jacob. She wondered what he would say if she told him she wanted to have another baby. She didn't really want to think about his reaction. He most likely would shut her out more.
"I've always wanted to have a large family. I love my parents beyond anything but it was lonely growing up as an only child. I've never wanted that for Jacob," Jessica finally responded.
"Are you guys planning on another little one anytime soon?" she asked with a wink. "The trying part is so much fun," she added with a giggle.
"We haven't talked about it," was all Jessica said. She was having a really hard time fighting off the tears. She wasn't normally so emotional but she figured being so lonely lately was most likely contributing to that.
"Alex adores Jacob so much. I'm sure he'd like to have a few more running around. Talk to him about it. You know grandpa is going to be expecting another one soon," Amy said.
"Joseph is about the greatest man there is. I can't believe how lucky Jacob is to have such an amazing grandfather. Plus Katherine is a dream grandmother. I love the quilt she made for Jacob. She comes over and visits all the time. I really regret them not getting those first three months with their grandson," Jessica said with some sadness.
"They completely understand though. You were unsure about the relationship and thought you were doing the right thing. What matters most is you're all together now. I know things can be really tough sometimes but hang in there," Amy said.
Jessica didn't want to talk about the tension between her and Alex, so she decided it was a great time to change the subject. "I've been dying to try the new Thai place a few blocks away. Do you want to go there for lunch?" she asked.
Amy took the hint and they discussed lunch and the kids and just about everything else except husbands. Jessica felt herself relaxing and really enjoyed the rest of the day. She really did have an amazing sister-in-law. By the time they got back to the house, she was more relaxed than she'd been before her impromptu honeymoon.
She would have to wait and see how things would work out. She couldn't leave Alex. She loved him too much and he was an amazing father, so maybe she would simply have to hold her heartache in and live with things the way they were. That thought wasn't very appealing but what else could she do?
Chapter Eight
The months slowly passed since the honeymoon. Alex was finally staying home much more often and they were back to making love almost nightly and to an outsider everything would look normal. Everything would look like they were a perfect family.
Jessica hadn't repeated her vows of love to her husband and he'd started to relax. She didn't want to break the truce they'd established.
Jacob was turning a year old that afternoon and they had a huge party planned, with both of their families there. She loved when the family got together, more than anything. She couldn't believe there was ever a time she'd feared them.
Jessica stole Isaiah away every chance she could get but when Joseph was around it was more difficult. He would hold all three of his grandkids on his knees and was like a papa bear when someone tried to take one of them away.
The kids adored their grandfather just as much. The second he would walk in the door Jasmine and Jacob would run to him with their arms out and the baby would coo at him. Joseph was in baby heaven.
Jessica finished getting ready for the party, knowing Julia was dressing Jacob at the same time. There was a sweet bond between the Julia and Jacob.
"Mama, someone is looking for you," Alex's voice came around the corner about a second before he stepped through the doorway.
Jessica gulped in her handsome husband and son. "Mama, hold," Jacob demanded of her, as he reached out to her from his father's arms.
"Of course, my sweet boy. I can't believe you're a year old today. Is it your birthday?" she asked him before tickling his belly.
"My day," he said in his sweet baby voice.
"Yes it is and you have grandpa and grandma and your aunts and uncles coming to see you," she said.
"Gampa, yeah," he said and started looking around.
"He's not here yet," she said with a smile. She loved how bonded her son was with both his grandfathers.
"I wan gampa," he demanded with a little scowl between his brows, reminding her so much of her husband.
"I like how he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to demand it," Alex stated proudly. "Come on Jacob, I think I hear grandpa in the hall," he said as Jacob eagerly leapt back into his father's arms.
Alex laughed and bent down kissing her quickly before leaving the room. She slowly followed her two favorite men.
"About time you brought my grandson down here. I have been waiting about five minutes now," came Joseph's booming voice.
Alex chuckled, as Jacob practically flew into his grandpa's arms.
Jacob patted Joseph's face to get his attention, "my day gampa," he said with a cheeky smile.
"Yes it is your birthday Jacob. Let's go sneak into some candy," he whispered, although everyone in the room could hear him.
"Dad, don't give him a bunch of junk food or he'll get cranky," Alex said, although he knew his words were falling on deaf ears. As he figured, Joseph acted like he hadn't heard a word. Jessica had to laugh. When Joseph wanted to spoil his grandkids, there was nothing anyone could do to stop him.
"I forgot to tell you how beautiful you look today," Alex said to her and then took her into his arms and kissed her softly. She immediately melted as he deepened the kiss. He was getting ready to take her back upstairs.
They'd been together for almost a year and she still had the ability to tighten his stomach. He wanted her every second of the day. She was beautiful and passionate.
Hell, he thought the party could wait on them. "You guys want to go upstairs for a while. I will cover for you," said the laughing voice of Mark.
Jessica jumped out of Alex's arms and could feel her face getting hot. She hated how easily she blushed. She couldn't believe she'd been caught necking in the hallway like she was some undersexed teenager.
Alex glared at his brother. "You could've just gone out back with the rest of the family and not so rudely interrupted," he said far too meanly in Jessica's opinion. He did look even sexier when he was in a temper, which he clearly was.
"Oh quit being a stick in the mud, you have all night to continue kissing. Now be a good brother and get me a beer," he said and practically dragged Alex from the room.
Jessica took a few moments to compose herself before heading in the direction of the party. She stared at the large group of family and friends on her back deck and smiled. Her son was so lucky to have so many people who adored him.
Whenever she began to think she couldn't stay another day in the house with a man who didn't love her, she would be at a family gathering and her resolve would deepen. She loved this group of people so much and the thought of not having them in her life was unbearable.
It wasn't like Alex was cruel to her in any way. He was simply honest, saying he couldn't love her. He wanted her which was obvious. Their passion burned greatly. She was coming to believe he just didn't want to be in love with anyone and it wasn't personal.
Jessica snapped back to reality and looked around the crowded yard once again. Her smile was genuine as she spotted her beautiful child and her niece and nephew.
Jasmine and Jacob were in the swings, with grandpa pushing them both. "Higher gampa," Jasmine yelled and then squealed with delight when grandpa accommodated her.
"How are you doing dear?" Katherine asked, as she walked up to Jessica.
"I'm great, thanks Mom," she replied. Katherine was such a quiet person, sometimes she got engulfed from her huge force of a husband. All the kids knew grandma was the real source of magic in the family though.
She had an amazing heart and more love to give than any other person Jessica knew. Jessica was glad her family meshed so well with the Anderson family. They'd all become one instead of two.
"I can't believe Jacob is a year old already. The time simply goes by far too quickly, in my opinion," Katherine said with some sadness.